Single Status Update
"Let's say you have two grocery stores. They're essentially identical: similar prices, similar layout, similar staff, etcetera.
"The only real difference is: At the entrance to one store, you have a senior citizen acting as a 'greeter'. At the other store, you have an armed guard. Based only on that, which store would you rather shop in? Danny?"
"Armed guard, all the way."
"'Cuz if things go to shit, the old guy isn't gonna back you up in a firefight."
"What could possibly 'go to shit' in a grocery store?"
"Like maybe some bagger is late for work again, and he gets the call from the store manager. But rather than just quitting like a normal person, this kid decides to grab his uncle's AK and head down to the store for some retribution."
"... That's never gonna happen."
"It does! I've seen it happen. First firefight I was ever in, back in high school, way before I enlisted. ... Couldn't do much other than take cover, but still -"
"Ladies and gentlemen, Ranma has called bullshit."
"Whatever. Are you gonna shut up now, or you gonna keep this up?"
"Or do you have proof?"
"Oh, I got proof. I can tell you all about it, and I can tell you who else knows about it. You can ask 'em yourself."
"Ah! Sit back, boys and girls, and you shall hear a tale! A tale about a dark day back in August '22, when a kid we called Donny decided he wasn't gonna put up with Don's Food's shit anymore..."