Status Replies posted by Xenophon
The Melfice Award for Services to Gayness
In choosing a recipient for this reward, I was forced to scour the blogs of all the.. actually, that's a lie. I just had to open wacky's blog, which over the couse of the year has provided more gayness than a gay factory.
Classy moments include;
- The unmasking of the Brady Bunch as being the first furries.
- Wacky's Depression
- Green Day Sucks (and so do you)
- Poetry (Yum! Cum! Testicle Juice!)
- It's a blog so it's a license to be retarded
Overall, wacky is a worthy sucessor to our now sadly missed resident drama queen. Therefore I present this award to wacky.
The Hormel Award for Proliferation of Spam
This year the most annoying spammer (still not banned, for some reason) is without question DLD. I really can't think of anything else to say, other than Please, Stop. You Are Hurting Me.
Also winner of the Giant Fucking Chin award.
The Isle Award for Being A Derranged Pervert
...this year goes to Gargoylol, who not only added penises to doom monsters for most of the year but also added penises to many other fictional game characters.
Also managed to push the attention away from Furries this year due to the fact that rubbing one out over gargoylol genitilia is even more weird and sickening.
Also winner of this years 'Fuck Off And Die' award. Although, if he does, the winners will truly be the common man.
The Golden Blubbering Vagina
Nick Baker and his team of spastic howler monkeys totally annilated the competition this year. KZID has been a controversal project, not because of the subject matter but because the team members are 98% Ball-Chewing Batshit insane.
Although Tormentor's whining in garbled english was a superb example of the Art of the Blubbering Vagina, topped off by leaving the community Never To Return, Nick Baker went one better and complained directly to Marv, your God and master. Fortunately, Marv takes as much interest in our daily goings on as the real God does, thus rending his anguished screams impotent and netting him the prize.
Evil Bastard of the Year
Difficult one this. Fredrik was my first choice, but I'm pretty sure that he really doesn't mean to be mean, it's just a total lack of and personality and / or people skills that have rendered him to the public as a vicious machine brain of evil. Similarly Numbermind has shown much promise this year as a vindictive and evil little bastard, but as of yet has shown little inclination to stab and otherwise mutilate those lower in the food chain than he. Perhaps one to watch for the future.
Thus, Evil Bastard of the Year has to go to me. Again. I could give you a list of all the terrible, terrible things I have said and done but I don't like to brag.
The AndrewB Is Right - Know It! Award
Goes to AndrewB, even though he has been less annoyingly self rightous the previous twelve months. Risks loosing his title to a newcommer come the next year, although he is in no danger of loosing his virginity within the next twenty.
The Bloodskull Award for Gargantuan Retarded
In this, the most hotly contested field, I set certain criteria that the potential candiates must meet.
1) Must Be a Fucking Idiot
With these in mind, I whittled down the candiates to a mere 200, and then I choose one at random.
Insertwackynamehere, come on down!
This is a very special Gargantuan Retarded award, because it represents three years of being Fucking Stupid With No Obvious Improvement. Truly, one of the worst posters DW has ever known.
Brought to you by Markov chains.
We shuffled back to the cacophonous flatcar. Arlene and Ritch collected them. Then we kicked the spit out of the enemy. Arlene was alive? It had done him serious damage. Ritch had no idea how the others to join her.
I let her hold the controls. The hand of God and Albert knew where. Would we find a weapon. Instead, I found her. "It was a testing?" she asked jokingly. "Toward hell," he said.
Turning a corner ... the middle of last century. Maybe it was too narrow for the technical obbledygook into the mob (of zombies? monsters?) in a dull, gray cavern under the forest fire raging in my head.
I had a secret. I stared in reverence; beneath the window while the ceiling was still good to be a once in a room stuffed with UAC stenciled on them. I even believed his wild story about fighting the common enemy of mankind. We don't come equipped with claws and lots and lots of cream.
Despite her appearance, she was or wasn't a lot of pride: "Underground special - built by the noise." Given the half-dead condition Bill was dying. Her face scrunched up as far away from me, almost shyly.
Style, weaving drunkenly between zombie-driven trucks, leaning on our way in. I pushed Jill to pass on the table.
"We've been fighting monsters that didn't shoot back. We slowly lowered our weapons on the floor, rubbing off as a high school daze. "No!" I screamed; then I pushed my arm out and caught Arlene looking at it; "but I do it!" I unslung and waited, shaking, for the human race as we could; I wished I'd left on Deimos forever!
"That's a bad joke." "You think he's a traitor," she said. "Being living organisms, they would have been told that the lift door. It was that he couldn't hear Dodd or Sheill at all.
Instead, I won a bowling league trophy, I humped back to her feet. The colossus stomped straight toward us, unafraid, of course; it's an airless moon of Deimos down the creature's back! What did I actually saw: a whole lot worse than fatty! It's just a statistic, no matter what we were safe again. A coughing fit came out of me before returning her steady attention back to Mars.
Arlene was no good. I climbed on the way.
She proved herself a teenager by driving too fast; then she repeated the demon, and Arlene finally said, "Grown-ups were scary enough by themselves."
"Why invade at all? What is this for?" "Good question," she said. "At least let me wrap it around her waist. She asked me to vote," I said, launching a preemptive strike.
"Well, they look so much noise she could lean back down." Arlene tossed me a full report when we were nearing the sabotage point. "I'd say we're a mile away," he said. "That's where the spider, the mastermind, and the rocket blast."
I regained my footing with Jill's increasingly panicked driving. As I neared the center of the train took a deep breath. "Arlene, I'm going to stop because I respected the men backed farther away from the Chapel of Mary and Martha."
Sister Lucrezia, who taught us Dante's Inferno, acted as if scratching his chin stubble ... but not a grenade! This zombie had ever seen a particular body I'd half dreaded, half hoped to avert the crisis by engaging in the brig and sent to Arlene and Albert in a million bloody threads up here instead of tense.
"Albert, what if there even was a slit that was where I started," except one dark section that was more ironic: moments before, I'd been exploring had indeed covered the exit, and the wandering eyes, listless bodies, jerking limbs, and empty heads responded.
They finally noticed us.
"Run!" I shouted, ecstatic to have the honor of the slit of a sudden, Rocko's demeanor changed as his body a little nugget of skepticism scratched at my chest.
I threw myself on the box, and dozens of armed men out for the Church." I laughed. "That's pretty biblical, isn't it?" "Scientists who talk that way, dead feet shuffling forward, guided by dead brains to recognize things the Mormons knew about the kid."
Ok so prom was two nights ago. It was just so awesome I never got here to talk about it.
So let's explain the high points of the night
My date is in another class altogether so she was going as my date, not together if you understand what I'm saying. She informed me in the car she was going out with her friends instead of I after the prom. How insulting. I told her to shut up.
So I get to the airport marriot where the prom is at. And I goto park. Only to get the parking vouchers designed for us, we were supposed to go to level 2. That's fine. Except we thought to go to level 2 you had to go through level 1. 45 minutes of considering going up downramps I just payed 3 bucks and hopped back on 95 and came back into the airport to try again. We finally got to level 2.
So in the prom she was acting retarded and she's supposed to double as my girlfriend and all of that. Anyway, I found her being a whore as expected so I dumped her in the middle of prom on the dance floor. Classic! I intended to do it afterwords but I couldn't contain myself anymore. She spread news to her "friends" within 30 seconds. Too bad her friends always agree with me (because I'm always right), so they all came and danced with me. Anyway, I told her to find another ride home because she's such a ho.
So with her gone my night picked up. I fast danced with hot girls. I slow danced with her friends. I was satisfied.
So yea, had me losing a girlfriend/prom date just been it perhaps it could've been a bad night. BUT IT GETS BETTER
I went to pick up my photos and someone stole them. 40 bucks down the shitter. Thanks to the cunt who took them.
So I walk out to my car and realize that I left my lights on. So here I am with my buddy and his car and mine, only mine had no battery power. Fantastic. Great, we'll just jump it. Oh, we don't have any cables. So after a while we found someone with cables and I finally get out of there. OR SO I THOUGHT.
First off, my glasses were in the bitch's purse. So I'm driving sort of blind. Luckilly, I can see fine for the most part. It was more of an inconvenience.
The real kicker is losing my parking voucher. 3 dollars potentially turned into 32 dollars. After about a half hour of talking to these people they finally opened the god damned gate.
So I finally get home like an hour and a half after the prom is over and me and my buddy and his date decide to go on over to my buddy's since he's throwing a party. So we drive over there and when I'm pulling up the girl's father calls and yells at me. I politely tell him "Your daughter's crazy." and he replies "I didn't ask for your opinion." and I said "Well you got it free of charge."
That was fun. I hung up because I don't take no shit.
So really now, I go inside and I have a lot of fun with my friends. And we all talk about how my date was retarded, because it's not like none of us didnt know this before the prom anyway. I just was too polite to tell her she wasnt coming after she got a dress. So then I decide, hey lets order some pizzas. So we order some pizzas and they never come. 40 minutes later I call the guy and he gives me an attitude. And tells me "Last time we called here you stiffed us."
"What, so you didn't make our pizzas?"
"No I didn't make you any pizzas."
"Oh yea? Well yer a fuckin asshole."
That happened at about 1:15. Good times. So I went home at 3:45. I had to wake up at 8:30 for theatre practice. It was nice.
For all of the things that went wrong (which was everything), I had a fucking blast. I smiled practically the whole time because I realized that letting people make me unhappy just doesn't work. So, cheers! I hope the prom I goto next month is half as fun.
I was having a nice big bowl of my favourite, most easy meal to make, Kraft Dinner. In one scoop, I noticed a dead insect in my food. It's probably ruined my taste for KD forever... Ball snakes.
Work Safe...I Think
I am starting my transition from Wadauthor to Doombuilder because of Doombuilders ZDoom support. I have been using Wadauthor for about 2 years now. Have you changed editing software like this?