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Draconio

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  1. Edit: The formatting on this one doesn't work right when viewed from the Blog page. Dunno what to do about it yet.

    Over my time as a Doom player I've seen some .WAD textfiles that have said some strange/ridiculous/funny things, so I thought it would be fun to start collecting them, sort of like the collections of bad quotes from NES games and the like. Further installments to come if I discover/rediscover more of these.

    From the textfile of DethLands:
    Additional Credits to: I owe no one! NO ONE!! oops, was that out loud?

    Yes it was, ingrate.

    From the textfile of Book.wad:
    Author: Bob Dole
    Misc. Author Info: I have a HUGE penis!

    Didn't your mother ever tell you it's not nice to lie? Or is that the truth, in which case you are disturbing.

    From the textfile of Evil Twin:
    OUTLAW SOFTWARE PIRACY & SUPPORT SHAREWARE!!

    Software piracy is and has always been outlawed, dumbass.

    From the textfile of ...And Death Came Along:
    Source Port: Source Ports are for fuckers.

    I want to fuck! Where's my ZDoom?

    From the textfile of The Unholy Temple:
    Misc. Author Info: 14, about to turn 15. Complete syko! which is pretty damn kewl if you ask me! anyway uh...what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I worked for the goverment for six years, until they stoped paying me. I designed meny of the weapons they use.
    Person I'd like to see dead : Bill Gates
    Base: Lots of Caffine! Pizza, burgers and tv with a few suggestions from some of those voices in my head, thanx voices!
    Known Bugs: None that I know of. No HOMS or anything like that. but if you really wanted some bugs try hiting yourself with a bat really hard. you'll see some after that.
    Authors may NOT use this level as a base to build additional levels. If you even think about screwing me and useing my wad as a base to build yours I'll kick your ****ing ass so hard that it'll turn inside out and come out your mouth!

    Err, ok. Either this guy is pretty messed up and needs professional help, or is joking... and needs professional help.

    From the textfile of Darkwad:
    Description: Get you teeth into this game. Hay, a demon said something about your mother, that deserves beetings.

    ...no comment.

    Hope you got some laughs out of this.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. fraggle

      fraggle

      insertwackynamehere said:

      What about Eric Harris's text files? Those were fucking sick.

      From uaclabs.txt:

      Good luck marine, and dont forget, KILL 'EM AAAAALLLL!!!!!

      Authors may NOT use this level as a base to build additional levels.
      You may NOT change a damn thing with this WAD, if you do, i will blow you up.
      And it will be cool.

    3. insertwackynamehere
    4. DarkWolf

      DarkWolf

      You MAY distribute this WAD, provided you include this file, with
      no modifications. You may distribute this file in any electronic
      format as long as you include this file intact.

      EXCEPTION follows!

      BUT you may not put this file or AT_WORK.WAD on a CD-rom device. I
      hate CD-rom, the very idea drives me nuts. Imagine making a media
      that carries a TON of info that you can not write to ... and people buy
      it ?!? BOGGLES THE MIND!


      Of course this is was an old wad, back before home CD-writers existed.

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