Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Status Updates posted by Cynical


    Dunno if it's better to get ahold of you here or on Discord, but either way, here's a new Condemner rehearsal track!  This is going to be the title track on the next album....

    1. Demon of the Well

      Demon of the Well

      Sweet, rotten. Sounds like you're going back further in time, from a referential standpoint. Rehearsal quality aside, there's an aura of analog-era sleaze to proceedings. Going to be self-released again?

    2. Cynical


      Interesting that it sounds more analog -- the recording methods were largely the same as the last album for everything except the drums... but the drums are real this time, and on a real kit (not sample replaced, like most albums are these days), which may be making all of the difference.  As for whether it's going to be self-released, the answer is "probably" -- if a label comes to me asking to release it, the answer may well be "yes", but given that no distro on earth was interested in even *carrying* the first album, I'm doubting that will happen.

  2. Watain, of all bands, releasing a good album?  Did I just enter a timewarp to 2003?

  3. Just got back from seeing D.R.I.  Oh man, that was awesome.  @Steve D you'll be happy to know that people were skanking properly in the pit, this many years later!

    1. Steve D

      Steve D

      Damn, and I saw them a million years ago when they were on tour in Seattle. Good old skater thrash! Glad you had a great time and witnessed some proper slamming, as we called it on the West Coast. Skanking was popular, too. As we know, the East Coasters ultimately won the naming war with moshing. ;D


  4. Amazing avatar sight-gag.

  5. I sense a forum smackdown in the making that I cannot wait to witness.  I just hope the older/meaner version of a particular poster comes out to play for perhaps the first time on this site.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. BigDickBzzrak


      LittleInferno? Zerthex?

      Don't make me guess.

    3. Cynical


      Let's just say that there was a time when PsychoGoatee would not have gotten away with the first sentence of this post without getting a very ornately verbose smackdown.

    4. BigDickBzzrak


      No idea. I guess I probably wasn't registered or even born when what you're talking about happened. :]

  6. A post from another forum -- I post this entirely without context


    (Setting: somewhere in the depths of Hell)

    The hapless UAC marine grabs the red skull key from the altar in the befouled cathedral. Suddenly, in several green flashes of light, the cathedral fills with horrifying skeletons! Instantly, they scream and converge on the marine, firing homing fireballs from shoulder-mounted rocket launchers, and delivering devastating KO punches.

    One of them, however, is more than a few steps slower than the others. He "chases" after the marine at a snail's pace; whenever he tries to shoot his mighty rocket launcher, the fireball barely leaves the muzzle and falls to the ground with a dull thud.

    The marine massacres the slow revenant's brethren. The then asks the lone survivor, "So, what's up with you? You made no contribution to this fight at all". "I have a sinus infection", the lone surviving revenant whimpers, receiving a knowing nod in return.

    The revenant continues, "So, aren't you going to blast me with your double-barreled shotgun? Or riddle me with bullets with your chaingun? Or reduce me to a pile of bones with two rockets? Or render me as though I had never existed with your BFG 9000". "Nah", comes the reply, "it's not worth spending the ammo on something that can't hurt me. See ya around".

    1. Tracer


      Well, that's not very cynical of you.


      Alas, honorable marine is honorable.

    2. Cynical


      (Spoiler: I'm actually the Revenant in the above scenario.  Sinus infections suck :( )

  7. Night 1 of awesome concert weekend was awesome!  Fucking Angelcorpse!

  8. Do you know what's cancer?



    People using blank lines to force people to click to their profile to read their status update.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Ichor


      Cancer is when someone uses a noun as if it was a verb. For instance: "Let's movie" or "Let's football" or "How do you dinner?"

    3. Da Werecat

      Da Werecat

      I like to verb nouns. Perhaps you'd like to aggro?

    4. dew




      ...aaaand ruined it!

  9. I hate the restrictions on editing in the new forum software :(

    1. 40oz





    2. Memfis


      I just stopped editing posts.

    3. BigDickBzzrak


      I hate the editing of the software of the new forum restriction.

  10. Can't wait for Friday, when Prey comes out.  <3 Arkane.

  11. Time Warner is so bad that it's literally unbelievable.

    1. Jaxxoon R

      Jaxxoon R

      Welcome to the world of American internet!

    2. Cynical


      Every spring and summer, I get less than 50% uptime.  How the hell is that even possible?


      When I get a chance, it's time to switch to ATT.  Yes, it means "losing speed", but hopefully it'll at least work some of the time...

  12. Bayonetta on Steam!

    1. Jaxxoon R

      Jaxxoon R

      [writhes sensually]

  13. So, how long until United stops passing up a great marketing opportunity and becomes official airline of the UFC?

    1. Doomkid


      There's a joke here that I'm completely missing I think..

    2. Doomkid


      Rofl okay, now I get it, United Airlines likes to get cops to beat the shit out of paying customers, that's nice.

  14. Anyone playing the early access of the new Unreal Tournament?  If you are, add me to your friends list (I'm LtC-Cynical) and come bop me!

    1. Demonologist


      Here's hoping I'll be able to get to it eventually, tried to do so earlier but got terribly lazy. I can still dust off UT3 though, haven't played it in years.

    2. Cynical


      I don't have UT3 -- I hadn't played a UT game since 2004, waaaaay back in the day.


      Me and a friend/old fart in a random Discord room who used to play UT 99 when we were teenagers just gave it a shot on a whim, and both ended up really liking it.

  15. Felicia Day, on an MST3K reboot? Fuck, that's going to be unwatchable trash.

    1. baja blast rd.

      baja blast rd.

      Can you elaborate? Your analysis on stuff is always fun to read.

    2. Cynical


      An actress whose entire career has been devoted to the modern "nerd-cool" thing appearing in a series that was always about people who were explicitly uncool is a trainwreck in the making.

    3. Nine Inch Heels
  16. I'm gonna look at your profile, and no amount of "Recent Profile Visitors" shaming can stop me!

    1. Liberation


      looked at yours first

  17. "Forgotten member"?  Is that another one of the "special" post-count statuses that only happens at one particular post count?  Makes sense for 911 posts...

    1. tourniquet
    2. Xyzzy01


      Is there a list for all of them? I know "Evil Member" comes at 666 posts...

    3. vita
  18. Tried Nier: Automata.  Lasted about 35 minutes before getting it refunded.


    Those controls, ugh.

    1. MrGlide


      can you elaborate what is wrong with it? I'v not played it so I'd like to hear why you didn't like it.

    2. Cynical


      The "jump" button is horribly laggy (it makes you finish your current walk-cycle then put your feet together before you actually start your jump animation), and movement simultaneously feels like ice skating and moving through molasses -- it takes forever to start, forever to stop, and forever to change directions.

  19. God damn you all, stop changing your fucking names!  It's confusing and pointless!

    1. Nine Inch Heels

      Nine Inch Heels

      It's pointless all the time, except for when it's not. ;-)

  20. Whooo, status posting!