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About darknation

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  1. Saddened to hear this. My sympathies to his friends on here.
  2. Yeah, not calling the result. But right now... well, imagine America as a drunk man who you witness walking down the street. He stumbles over the kerb and falls face first into a gigantic dog turd. It's been there for maybe an hour, slowly cooling in the midnight air; the outside of the turd is cold and clammy, perhaps with a sheen of condensation forming on a light crust, but the inside is still warm and mushy enough to remind you it was has only recently been deposited in a fanfare of fart gas and a sharp hot slap as it hit the pavement. And your first reaction is to laugh, but you instantly stifle that shit and raise a hand to your mouth. "My God, that's terrible!" you think, guilty as sin because that's the way you've been conditioned. And then, as you watch the man flail around with a face full of shit and freshly passed intestinal worms, you remember you know this guy. And you remember that you don't particularly like him. He's that prick who is always going around telling other people what to do, always starting fights, always being a sanctimonious asshole. He's rich, you're poor, and that annoys you, and you can feel righteous about those feelings. His wife is a haughty cow, his kids are even fucking worse than he is, and... well, you know what, FUCK that hypocritical douche. He got what he deserved. And you laugh, because it feels cathartic. You know that he's going to go home in a foul mood because his suit is all shit, he's going to beat the wife and the kids, he's going to start even more hypocrisy and fucking proselytizing and he's going to turn that crap up to 11. And, honestly, you don't give a flying fuck at the moon, because this shit was fucking hilarious and totally fucking worth it. So yeah. I'm having a good time right now. darknation raises his coffee cup in tribute
  3. Fuck this, I'm staying up tonight. Watching the twitterati shit its collective pants in an impotent apoplexy of rage is just too fucking funny right now. I'll regret it in the morning, but right now I'm kinda secretly hoping Trump wins. Fuck these faux-liberal establishment frauds, tonight I'm watching the whole thing burn down and I'm going to laugh as the roof caves in on top of them.
  4. In which case Vermin Supreme wins, and America will get the President it deserves.
  5. I came the conclusion a long time ago that it doesn't matter. Regardless of which one gets in, America will get the President it deserves.
  6. song is identified 3.02 minutes in.
    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. darknation


      Yeah, plan is a chapter every week. And if you hate the title, I can guarantee you'll loathe the front cover.

      Thanks for reading. I hope you'll come back.

    3. Megalyth


      Good shit, my dude.

      It's entertaining and it made me uncomfortable to the point of aggravating my death anxiety with vivid descriptions. This is the darknation the world needs, don't give up on this story.

    4. Hellbent


      I concur. Looking forward to next week's submission.

    5. darknation


      Chapter 02 – The Girl and the Snake
      (02/11/16 beta 5)
      400 words

      The Girl and the Snake

      Ziggie’s father is dead. He killed himself when she was five years old.

      His body was never found, presumably drowned and swept out to sea. The funeral service was a shameful afterthought, coming three months late and scarcely attended. Friends and family alike begged off with cards of condolence; few of the living saw the point of mourning with an empty casket.

      As for those who did come, not one will mention how he died. All eyes are averted and the sympathies offered are awkward, stilted things, empty phrases learned by rote and brought out in times of desperation for want of anything better to say.

      The church is unheated, the day outside is cold. Ziggie watches the prayers of the half-hearted crystallize in the damp air. The words rise up in clouds towards the rafters - there, they disperse, vanishing before God has a chance to hear them.

      Ziggie, five years old, has learned why we keep our eyes downcast when grieving. Ziggie looks towards heaven and sees nothing to comfort her, she has seen nothing but vultures circling overhead for weeks now. They have taken a keepsake here, a photograph there, a gold chain to remember him by, or perhaps a sovereign ring to lay aside and forget. Ziggie is only five years old but she can see the estate being picked apart, that the solicitors are tearing life into smaller, easily digestible chunks. The bad men cut a few hundred from here, they slice a thousand from there; she has seen them gorge themselves whilst gloating over a policy made worthless by a suicide.

      Aye, death attracts the vultures. Vultures like her Uncle, who now stands with Ziggie’s mother, one arm draped across her shoulders, united in a pastiche of mourning. He too is a bad man, one to beware of, one whom her father would give no time and used to swear away.

      Ziggie’s father is dead. In his place stands a stranger who wears her father’s face but not his smile, who has her father’s hair but lacks the kindness of his eyes. This stranger, this thief of the familiar, stands beside her mother, twisting a mouth that isn’t his to whisper in her ear.

      The hand slips down a little. The arm around her mother’s shoulder tightens.
      The resigned mourners glance knowingly at each other as they pass outwards to the door. Ziggie sees it too; she sees her uncle, wrapped around her mother like a snake, and she cannot understand why.

      Her uncle’s oily, black eyes flick once in her direction. Ziggie’s father is dead, and Ziggie is afraid.

    6. darknation
    7. Megalyth


      Chapter 3 was hilarious, keep 'em coming. Do you have a proof-reader yet? I could lend a hand pointing out any errors I notice.

    8. Doomkid


      Any chance you could show us the front cover? I'm extremely curious and expecting something hilarious.

    9. darknation


      Sure. Here's a mock up I made in PSP / 5 minutes to illustrate the concept. It's rough as fuck, but you get the idea.

      Fortunately, I studied graphic design in college, so I can get away with this sort of shit by typing a lot of words that turn an offensive concept into something approaching art.

      1) I was greatly influenced by Rob Grant (or was it Doug Naylor?), who described a character turning up for a court case "...wearing an M&S Kipper tie, complete with Woman In Birthing Stirrups motif." I read it, laughed my ass off, and then found myself mildly depressed that such a thing did not actually exist in the real world. So, I did what any rational man would do, and made it myself.

      2) Sex sells.

      3) It actually has something to do with the plot. Tangentially.

      4) Someone pointed out that you can't put a vagina on the front cover of your novel, because society is still light years behind me on this front. So, after a bit of careful consideration, I adopted the technique used by British porn mags in the 1980's. You can print pictures of women spread-eagled in the centerfold of your magazine no problem, provided you cover up their genital opening with a little blue dot.

      'Tis a true fact. Those of a certain age will remember this phenomenon. You can look it up if you don't believe me.

      So, the idea is this; the books are printed (and, because I suck and have no publisher, I will be doing this via some private vanity printer) and mailed to me in a dirty great big box. Then, using blue stickers from crafts section of my local art store, I will apply said stickers in a vagina-covering position upon the offending portion of the image.

      And so we come to the great experiment; when presented with the censored vagina, will *you* run a fingernail against the blue dot? Will you peel it off to see what lies beneath?

      Will you open Pandora's Crotch?

    10. Mithran Denizen

      Mithran Denizen

      Heh. The prose is far tamer than my initial expectations, given your DWF posting, but certainly no less vivid. Please do continue with regular updates! I enjoy the ideas you've started to develop here and eagerly wait to see where you take them.

      darknation said:

      I was greatly influenced by Rob Grant (or was it Doug Naylor?), who described a character turning up for a court case "...wearing an M&S Kipper tie, complete with Woman In Birthing Stirrups motif." I read it, laughed my ass off, and then found myself mildly depressed that such a thing did not actually exist in the real world. So, I did what any rational man would do, and made it myself.

      I assume by "made it myself", you mean the wonderful art/motif itself, but not an actual tie, right?*

      Finish up the novel, and I'll personally craft you a bespoke necktie featuring a print of your cover art, gratis, should you be interested.

      It can be offensively wide and kipper-tastic, and I can attach as many removable blue censorship dots as you want. I love designing/sewing weird projects in my free time, and this would fit the bill on many levels. The offer stands.

      *[If I misunderstood, and you've already made up a tie using such a motif, as a textiles/tailoring/garment nerd, I'd love to see photos, haha.]

    11. darknation


      Megalyth said:

      Do you have a proof-reader yet? I could lend a hand pointing out any errors I notice.

      Not as such, no; honestly, when it comes to editing / rewriting, for every error fixed I add another one by accident. There is little point in really going through it with a fine comb until I am completely satisfied that the damn thing is finished.

      For example; the biggest current pain in the ass is changing 80'000 words of past-tense into the present-tense. Basically, every single sentence needs to be rewritten and restructured. For example, beta 03 reads: -

      The fat man span, pissing all over the place as he went. His trousers were down around his ankles, and they tripped the already unsteady Fatmandu and sent him once more crashing down towards the ground. He battered his head savagely against the toilet on the way, ripping away the already broken pan-lid as he fell. The tiled floor finished the job of knocking Fatmandu unconscious with an eye-watering crack to the skull, a sound that bounced around the bathroom with an oddly hollow resonance.

      Which is fine, but tedious. Moving it to present tense provides a sense of urgency. Beta 09 reads;

      The fat man spins with the impact, hosing the room as he goes. His trousers are already down around his ankles - his legs become entangled, and the already unsteady Fatmandu is going down, down, down. He batters his head savagely against the toilet, he rips away the pan-lid as he falls.

      The marbled tiles of the toilet floor are what finish him, however. Skull and filthy ceramic clatter together, and the sound they make has an oddly hollow resonance to it. It echoes in the bathroom, like a hammer blow falling on a coconut.

      Same basic paragraph, but it involved a complete rewrite. Probably more, to be honest, and I'm still not 100% happy with it.

      The point is that any fine proof reading will be lost the next time I scream "Fuck it" and move the entire thing into a tense that hasn't even been invented yet. That said, feel free to point out any errors / grammatical fuck ups you find and I'll add them to my bug tracker.

      The offer was appreciated.

      Mithran Denizen said:

      I assume by "made it myself", you mean the wonderful art/motif itself, but not an actual tie, right?*

      Yeah, just the graphic, not the tie. I don't think the world is ready for a garment of such magnificence yet.

      Mithran Denizen said:

      Heh. The prose is far tamer than my initial expectations, given your DWF posting,

      There *are* older versions that are considerably more profane. Part of the editing process has been to remove words that were unnecessary and improve the flow of the novel.

      Technical: The opening chapters are a prologue, and not necessarily stylistically typical of the whole. What I'm attempting to write is a gothic comedy; words should flow into each other, the tone should be one of a slowly rising dread that either resolves into horror or a laugh. Not knowing which one to expect at any given time should, I hope, make the prose unnerving and turn the gothic aspects of the atmosphere up to 11.

      This said, punctuating sentences with fuck or cunt needs to be done for a specific reason; most curse words are guttural and sharp sounding, and if they are used throughout then it's hard to get a good whispering feeling of dread going. It's akin to writing poetry; you need to be aware of where the stresses are and how the sibilants fall.

      So, my usual practice of using Fuck every second word is out.

  7. heh
  8. Confession time; - I have done nothing creative for the past year.

    This obviously sucks, and frankly I feel poor about it, but at the same time I am a lazy motherfucker and it's easier to fuck about online / irl rather than do anything about it. Used to be I'd spend at least ten hours a week trying to better myself when it came to writing, but these days I doubt I've spent more then ten hours during the whole fucking year doing anything even remotely productive.

    It's not good.

    I think I pretty much broke myself rewriting my shit novel for two years straight, all the time kidding myself about what a monstrous task I was undertaking. Finally, it set in that I was looking at another two years at least of rewrites before I would be anywhere even close to finishing and, having stupidly spent all that time writing the same fucking thing over and over and over again, I had actually forgotten how to look at a blank page and come up with something new.

    Dumb mistake, strangling myself like that, but whatever. Worse, now I look at what I'd been writing for all that time and have a paralyzed "Ugh, fuck that," reaction, close down the word processor and instead go to youtube to veg out.

    Thing is, I really need to be working on something to make myself feel viable as a human being; this fucked up laziness, while being the easy option, is beginning to eat away at my self esteem and devaluate my my feelings of worth.

    So, trying to figure out what the fuck to do about it. I'm asking how other people deal with being creatively burnt out / being a chronically lazy bastard and what the best road back to recovery is.

    I think I good start might be to remove the internet entirely from my work computer, but I'm willing to try other less drastic solutions to the problem first.

    1. 40oz


      I made this tutorial a while ago, maybe it could be useful for you. Many of the steps can translate to other creative outlets, I'm sure.


    2. Job


      There's a few things I try when I feel I've hit a wall.

      1.) Give yourself a simple ultimatum. Decide that you will allot 15 minutes to do something specific that you've been avoiding for a long time. And if you follow through you'll reward yourself with something (eating out, a beer, whatever). Usually, by the time 15 minutes has passed, I've either built up some momentum and end up making meaningful progress or I don't. If I haven't and I realize I've wasted my time, well, it was only 15 minutes anyway. Easy bargain.

      2.) Usually, my problem comes from low energy. I try cooking something for myself, making a shit ton of coffee or exercising. By the time I'm done, I typically feel like doing more than sitting around.

      3.) See above. Exercise is good. If I go on a long bike ride or walk, it usually gives me a chance to sort my thoughts or shut my brain off altogether. Definitely good. The bonus is that it also tends to give you energy and a sense of accomplishment, however small it might be. It can either take the pressure off from "having to" do something or it might encourage you to get more done. Either result is a win.

      Writing is a cast iron bitch, in my opinion. It's something that people typically do to please themselves by virtue of pleasing others. As a general rule, it's a recipe for disappointment. I'm not saying that's why you're doing it, but that's been my own experience. Once I decided to disregard what others think and write what I appreciate (I'm both my own harshest critic and greatest enthusiast), it typically read less as though it was forced and attained a more organic nuance.

    3. Doomkid


      For whatever it's worth, I always find your DW posts highly entertaining and they make me very curious to read a piece written by you.

    4. darknation


      Well, I finally bit the bullet and did some work because fuck it, there is no point in complaining about shit if you're not willing do do something about it. I'll probably start posting this piece of shit novel on blogs once I find a way to format a chapter in such a way that it doesn't look like a solid wall of ass on the forums. Might motivate me to actually finish the bastarding thing.

    5. MrGlide


      Do things to make you less depressed, many of the things advised above are good. As for your computer, if you want to get creative you could either scedual a time every day you sit down and just do that thing you want to do, no web surfing, no doom, no doomworld, just you and your writing. If that doesn't work you could look at one of the most successful tactics for break drug addiction, get out of your familier enviroment. Go write at a coffee shop or just some kind of storeplace that allows lounging, is quiet and won't destract you. If you remove yourself from your natural habitat, you will remove yourself from your natural habits.(edit) oh, by the way, can't wait to start reading it, I was pondering about that the other day and was hoping to be able to read some of it.

    6. bzzrak


      Expanding Job's post: give yourself half an hour to make something and do 20/30/40 push-ups (depending on your physical condition) if you don't. Try it, you'll like it.

    7. darknation


      Some good advice, some less good advice. I think the main problem lies in not understanding the actual mechanism that allows me to zone out of reality and enter the headspace needed to start writing.

      I have noticed that, as I become more aware of style / become a more technical writer, the harder it becomes to ignore the reality of hammering on a keyboard to make words happen. Hard to explain, really. If my technique for getting into the mindset for writing used to be the equivalent of daydreaming, then what I have to do now to maintain a technical understanding and proficiency is more akin to lucid dreaming. Keeping the imagination flowing whilst simultaneously imposing a strict framework upon it is fucking difficult.

      Also, people who write in coffee houses are the lowest form of hipster scum on god's clean earth.

    8. MrGlide


      darknation said:

      Keeping the imagination flowing whilst simultaneously imposing a strict framework upon it is fucking difficult.

      Fuck ya it is, I find it's best personally to try to divy it up, I'v the spots where I'm hardcore day dreaming and times where I take my adderall to work out the workload of it all, I can see that would be really hard as a writer though. Maybie get yourself into a daydreaming state and jot pieces of whats racing through your mind, then take snippits and start working them together when more cordinated? the coffee place was just an example, quite bars are nice as well, grocery cafe'(where all the old people hang out).

  9. SYL soundboard recording?
  10. Adopting the Euro is, at this point, a no-brainer anyway. The British pound is going to be worth about the same as a US dollar in about 4 years time. My main concern with adopting the Euro is that we should do it as soon as possible to get the best possible conversion rate. As for grandfathering... Well, it honestly never occurred to me that we'd get preferential treatment. All I expected was the same deal everyone else gets. The only thing I can see as being an exceptional case is if we have independence before Britain actually leaves the EU. Then the debate comes down to "Was Scotland actually a country in it's own right, and was always in the EU, or was it just a region of Britain and now technically an entirely new country?"
  11. Enough. You don't have a clue what you are talking about and you have no grasp on history beyond the past five years. Your opinions, such as they are, are entirely US centric and you have no idea of the outer world. I am being polite, in the vague hope that this won't be the 207th darknation shitthread.
  12. Yeah, thank God that the separation of Ireland from the UK was such a bloodless affair.
  13. Maybe the difference is "Independent country that is a member state of the EU", v.s "Glorified appendix to England." Or to put it another way, just once in my lifetime, I'd like to be able to vote and have my vote mean something. Rather than being told thanks for my input, but you're getting brexit and Tories and fascist fuckwits anyway.
  14. Scotland to open embassy in Berlin Top tier trolling from the Scottish Government.