Yeah, not calling the result. But right now... well, imagine America as a drunk man who you witness walking down the street. He stumbles over the kerb and falls face first into a gigantic dog turd. It's been there for maybe an hour, slowly cooling in the midnight air; the outside of the turd is cold and clammy, perhaps with a sheen of condensation forming on a light crust, but the inside is still warm and mushy enough to remind you it was has only recently been deposited in a fanfare of fart gas and a sharp hot slap as it hit the pavement. And your first reaction is to laugh, but you instantly stifle that shit and raise a hand to your mouth. "My God, that's terrible!" you think, guilty as sin because that's the way you've been conditioned. And then, as you watch the man flail around with a face full of shit and freshly passed intestinal worms, you remember you know this guy. And you remember that you don't particularly like him. He's that prick who is always going around telling other people what to do, always starting fights, always being a sanctimonious asshole. He's rich, you're poor, and that annoys you, and you can feel righteous about those feelings. His wife is a haughty cow, his kids are even fucking worse than he is, and... well, you know what, FUCK that hypocritical douche. He got what he deserved. And you laugh, because it feels cathartic. You know that he's going to go home in a foul mood because his suit is all shit, he's going to beat the wife and the kids, he's going to start even more hypocrisy and fucking proselytizing and he's going to turn that crap up to 11. And, honestly, you don't give a flying fuck at the moon, because this shit was fucking hilarious and totally fucking worth it. So yeah. I'm having a good time right now. darknation raises his coffee cup in tribute
Fuck this, I'm staying up tonight. Watching the twitterati shit its collective pants in an impotent apoplexy of rage is just too fucking funny right now. I'll regret it in the morning, but right now I'm kinda secretly hoping Trump wins. Fuck these faux-liberal establishment frauds, tonight I'm watching the whole thing burn down and I'm going to laugh as the roof caves in on top of them.
darknation replied to Tracer's topic in Everything Elsesong is identified 3.02 minutes in.
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Sure. Here's a mock up I made in PSP / 5 minutes to illustrate the concept. It's rough as fuck, but you get the idea.
Fortunately, I studied graphic design in college, so I can get away with this sort of shit by typing a lot of words that turn an offensive concept into something approaching art.
1) I was greatly influenced by Rob Grant (or was it Doug Naylor?), who described a character turning up for a court case "...wearing an M&S Kipper tie, complete with Woman In Birthing Stirrups motif." I read it, laughed my ass off, and then found myself mildly depressed that such a thing did not actually exist in the real world. So, I did what any rational man would do, and made it myself.
2) Sex sells.
3) It actually has something to do with the plot. Tangentially.
4) Someone pointed out that you can't put a vagina on the front cover of your novel, because society is still light years behind me on this front. So, after a bit of careful consideration, I adopted the technique used by British porn mags in the 1980's. You can print pictures of women spread-eagled in the centerfold of your magazine no problem, provided you cover up their genital opening with a little blue dot.
'Tis a true fact. Those of a certain age will remember this phenomenon. You can look it up if you don't believe me.
So, the idea is this; the books are printed (and, because I suck and have no publisher, I will be doing this via some private vanity printer) and mailed to me in a dirty great big box. Then, using blue stickers from crafts section of my local art store, I will apply said stickers in a vagina-covering position upon the offending portion of the image.
And so we come to the great experiment; when presented with the censored vagina, will *you* run a fingernail against the blue dot? Will you peel it off to see what lies beneath?
Will you open Pandora's Crotch?
Heh. The prose is far tamer than my initial expectations, given your DWF posting, but certainly no less vivid. Please do continue with regular updates! I enjoy the ideas you've started to develop here and eagerly wait to see where you take them.
I was greatly influenced by Rob Grant (or was it Doug Naylor?), who described a character turning up for a court case "...wearing an M&S Kipper tie, complete with Woman In Birthing Stirrups motif." I read it, laughed my ass off, and then found myself mildly depressed that such a thing did not actually exist in the real world. So, I did what any rational man would do, and made it myself.
I assume by "made it myself", you mean the wonderful art/motif itself, but not an actual tie, right?*
Finish up the novel, and I'll personally craft you a bespoke necktie featuring a print of your cover art, gratis, should you be interested.
It can be offensively wide and kipper-tastic, and I can attach as many removable blue censorship dots as you want. I love designing/sewing weird projects in my free time, and this would fit the bill on many levels. The offer stands.
*[If I misunderstood, and you've already made up a tie using such a motif, as a textiles/tailoring/garment nerd, I'd love to see photos, haha.]
Do you have a proof-reader yet? I could lend a hand pointing out any errors I notice.
Not as such, no; honestly, when it comes to editing / rewriting, for every error fixed I add another one by accident. There is little point in really going through it with a fine comb until I am completely satisfied that the damn thing is finished.
For example; the biggest current pain in the ass is changing 80'000 words of past-tense into the present-tense. Basically, every single sentence needs to be rewritten and restructured. For example, beta 03 reads: -
The fat man span, pissing all over the place as he went. His trousers were down around his ankles, and they tripped the already unsteady Fatmandu and sent him once more crashing down towards the ground. He battered his head savagely against the toilet on the way, ripping away the already broken pan-lid as he fell. The tiled floor finished the job of knocking Fatmandu unconscious with an eye-watering crack to the skull, a sound that bounced around the bathroom with an oddly hollow resonance.
Which is fine, but tedious. Moving it to present tense provides a sense of urgency. Beta 09 reads;
The fat man spins with the impact, hosing the room as he goes. His trousers are already down around his ankles - his legs become entangled, and the already unsteady Fatmandu is going down, down, down. He batters his head savagely against the toilet, he rips away the pan-lid as he falls.
The marbled tiles of the toilet floor are what finish him, however. Skull and filthy ceramic clatter together, and the sound they make has an oddly hollow resonance to it. It echoes in the bathroom, like a hammer blow falling on a coconut.
Same basic paragraph, but it involved a complete rewrite. Probably more, to be honest, and I'm still not 100% happy with it.
The point is that any fine proof reading will be lost the next time I scream "Fuck it" and move the entire thing into a tense that hasn't even been invented yet. That said, feel free to point out any errors / grammatical fuck ups you find and I'll add them to my bug tracker.
The offer was appreciated.
Mithran Denizen said:
I assume by "made it myself", you mean the wonderful art/motif itself, but not an actual tie, right?*
Yeah, just the graphic, not the tie. I don't think the world is ready for a garment of such magnificence yet.
Mithran Denizen said:
Heh. The prose is far tamer than my initial expectations, given your DWF posting,
There *are* older versions that are considerably more profane. Part of the editing process has been to remove words that were unnecessary and improve the flow of the novel.
Technical: The opening chapters are a prologue, and not necessarily stylistically typical of the whole. What I'm attempting to write is a gothic comedy; words should flow into each other, the tone should be one of a slowly rising dread that either resolves into horror or a laugh. Not knowing which one to expect at any given time should, I hope, make the prose unnerving and turn the gothic aspects of the atmosphere up to 11.
This said, punctuating sentences with fuck or cunt needs to be done for a specific reason; most curse words are guttural and sharp sounding, and if they are used throughout then it's hard to get a good whispering feeling of dread going. It's akin to writing poetry; you need to be aware of where the stresses are and how the sibilants fall.
So, my usual practice of using Fuck every second word is out.
Confession time; - I have done nothing creative for the past year.
This obviously sucks, and frankly I feel poor about it, but at the same time I am a lazy motherfucker and it's easier to fuck about online / irl rather than do anything about it. Used to be I'd spend at least ten hours a week trying to better myself when it came to writing, but these days I doubt I've spent more then ten hours during the whole fucking year doing anything even remotely productive.
It's not good.
I think I pretty much broke myself rewriting my shit novel for two years straight, all the time kidding myself about what a monstrous task I was undertaking. Finally, it set in that I was looking at another two years at least of rewrites before I would be anywhere even close to finishing and, having stupidly spent all that time writing the same fucking thing over and over and over again, I had actually forgotten how to look at a blank page and come up with something new.
Dumb mistake, strangling myself like that, but whatever. Worse, now I look at what I'd been writing for all that time and have a paralyzed "Ugh, fuck that," reaction, close down the word processor and instead go to youtube to veg out.
Thing is, I really need to be working on something to make myself feel viable as a human being; this fucked up laziness, while being the easy option, is beginning to eat away at my self esteem and devaluate my my feelings of worth.
So, trying to figure out what the fuck to do about it. I'm asking how other people deal with being creatively burnt out / being a chronically lazy bastard and what the best road back to recovery is.
I think I good start might be to remove the internet entirely from my work computer, but I'm willing to try other less drastic solutions to the problem first.
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Some good advice, some less good advice. I think the main problem lies in not understanding the actual mechanism that allows me to zone out of reality and enter the headspace needed to start writing.
I have noticed that, as I become more aware of style / become a more technical writer, the harder it becomes to ignore the reality of hammering on a keyboard to make words happen. Hard to explain, really. If my technique for getting into the mindset for writing used to be the equivalent of daydreaming, then what I have to do now to maintain a technical understanding and proficiency is more akin to lucid dreaming. Keeping the imagination flowing whilst simultaneously imposing a strict framework upon it is fucking difficult.
Also, people who write in coffee houses are the lowest form of hipster scum on god's clean earth.
Keeping the imagination flowing whilst simultaneously imposing a strict framework upon it is fucking difficult.
Fuck ya it is, I find it's best personally to try to divy it up, I'v the spots where I'm hardcore day dreaming and times where I take my adderall to work out the workload of it all, I can see that would be really hard as a writer though. Maybie get yourself into a daydreaming state and jot pieces of whats racing through your mind, then take snippits and start working them together when more cordinated? the coffee place was just an example, quite bars are nice as well, grocery cafe'(where all the old people hang out).
Adopting the Euro is, at this point, a no-brainer anyway. The British pound is going to be worth about the same as a US dollar in about 4 years time. My main concern with adopting the Euro is that we should do it as soon as possible to get the best possible conversion rate. As for grandfathering... Well, it honestly never occurred to me that we'd get preferential treatment. All I expected was the same deal everyone else gets. The only thing I can see as being an exceptional case is if we have independence before Britain actually leaves the EU. Then the debate comes down to "Was Scotland actually a country in it's own right, and was always in the EU, or was it just a region of Britain and now technically an entirely new country?"
Enough. You don't have a clue what you are talking about and you have no grasp on history beyond the past five years. Your opinions, such as they are, are entirely US centric and you have no idea of the outer world. I am being polite, in the vague hope that this won't be the 207th darknation shitthread.
Maybe the difference is "Independent country that is a member state of the EU", v.s "Glorified appendix to England." Or to put it another way, just once in my lifetime, I'd like to be able to vote and have my vote mean something. Rather than being told thanks for my input, but you're getting brexit and Tories and fascist fuckwits anyway.