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darknation

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Status Replies posted by darknation

  1. There is so much static and conflicting reports in both mainstream media and on the internet, are there sites that openly fact check with resources? How does one educate themselves on social matters and not get led around by the nose?

    1. darknation

      darknation

      I disagree with 40oz: social media is a useful tool, at least when it comes to people and the dumb shit people do. The mass media cannot be trusted, but nor can the average shlub on Twitter. Read everything from all sides of any given argument. Normally the actual truth of the matter is somewhere in the middle of any two polarizing arguments.

      Also, crazy people are good for a laugh. Follow them and have Fun while you Educate Yourself!

    2. (See 23 other replies to this status update)

  2. And afterall, we're only ordinary men.

    Right and wrong
    Balck and white
    Good and evil
    Up and down
    With and without
    Nice and mean
    Truth and lies
    Fast and slow
    Left and right
    Front and back
    Rich and poor
    Demican and republicrat
    Smart and dumb
    Man and woman
    Creation and evolution
    Capitalist and communist
    Tolerance and intolerance [read: racism/sexism/agism/nationalism/ismism]
    Healthy and unhealthy
    Man-made and natural
    Nature vs nurture



    We know things by their opposites. This is part of the basics of how our brain functions and a key part to how we learn. The easiest and most clear-cut way to define something is to say it's "not ___." Take a look at our knowledge of biology: in the dichotomous tree, splits happen where something either is or isn't; has or has not.

    Within comradery we find that we are all similar, while within opposition we find out how different we are. Given that we so often find what we seek in life, this is no surprise; if I look for similarities, that is what I'll find. If I look for differences, I'll surely find no end.

    Assimilation and accommodation. Fitting something into your current schema and adjusting your schema to fit a new stimulus. But there could never be accommodation without discrimination; you must first learn that there is a difference before your brain can group two otherwise similar things together, otherwise all cats and dogs would still be "kitties" to us, wouldn't they?

    Us and them; most of us view ourselves as good, intelligent people. Therefore, any group we belong to will likely share our views on ourself. After all, why would any intelligent person group themselves in with a bunch of stupid people, or a good person with a bunch of evil people, etc? If nothing else, our view of ourself is reflected in our views of those who belong to our same "group," or more-so the group which we choose to belong to. Therefore, we are good, we are intelligent, we are tolerant. By default, if those are defining words for "us," then "they" must have a different set of words to define "them." Given our tendency to split things two, and only two, ways, that makes them by default our opposite. That makes them by default stupid, intolerant, and evil. Otherwise, they would be "us." This is not to argue against a grey area, of course there is one, but we often pretend to be more intelligent than we really are; humans are simple-minded at their core. Our advanced faculties might be capable of questioning if we are, or whether-or-not the shepherd has our best intentions in mind, but at our core we are animals, with the same materials used to make us. Above we may understand more, but underneath the surface this is but an elaborate facade we have made for ourselves.

    Back on whatever subject it was, even just by saying "we are tolerant," a person is making a comparison. To nothing specific, of course, but a comparison nonetheless. If everybody in the world were the same level of tolerant, then nobody would describe themselves as tolerant. Same goes with intelligence and good intentions. It's really easy to view "them" as stupid, intolerant, or having bad intentions; too easy, perhaps.

    We are all only given one perspective in life. It is impossible for any of us to put ourselves in another's shoes, as we fail at the outset by having been exposed to different stimuli throughout our life/childhood and having learned to be different over time. No matter how similar another person may be to you, in the end there are always differences. Without understanding of this, it would be impossible for two people to be together for long periods of time as two people can never share the exact same perspective. Maybe I didn't pick up on some body language that you did, maybe you were directly involved while I wasn't, or maybe it was actually me and you that got into an argument, in which case the difference is at the front door. Just as we have to be understanding of our peers, fellow members of whoever "us" may be at the time, (and let's not mistake that when we feel a similarity or a bond with anybody, we view them as one of "us" for at least that millisecond in time) we must be understanding of all people.

    Who can really pretend to be above the average person? Parhaps one day you were; "any given Sunday" and all that, (for my non-American brothers and sisters: an American football saying; that even the worst team can upset the best team any given Sunday [when most games tended to be held, and still the biggest "game day"]) but perhaps it was just in the categories tested, and perhaps most of all it was just in the categories you knew were tested. We all play the part of the fool in our own time.

    What we learn throughout our life shapes who we are, as does what we choose not to learn. It's easy to say that this other person did something or supports something because they are stupid, but that other person has the same thoughts and feelings that you do. When I look back on mistakes I've made, especially the ones that actually amounted to something more than a minor inconvenience and a bit of frustration, it's not that I wasn't thinking, it's that I made a conscious decision to do whatever it was that wound up being a mistake. Even something as simple as getting into an argument with somebody; it's really not too far unlike the skits Dave Chappelle did "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong." Most people, I beleive, have a filter in their heads of their own actions, though admittedly most of us also don't choose to take full advantage of said filter, especially given that most of the time it's a split-second decision made on a whim.

    Follow that along to the things we support and back to the Us and Them: we come to expect certain things out of, for example, political groups (of which this thread mostly isn't about, but the Us and Them situation within politics is rampant and tough to avoid when on this subject). So we learn that group x is terrible and has these horrible notions, though we, on the surface at least, acknowledge that the other group is just as bad. But as bad as group y may be, they're totally not as bad as group x. Even pretending to be an independent, the Us and Them situation is alive and well within our own thoughts; indeed, it's engrained into our learning process. More-so, many independents I talk to are merely disenfranchised with the two-party system we have, yet at the end of the cycle they continue to buy into it with the logic that voting anything but Republicrat or Demican is "throwing your vote away." Think about the fact that over 50% of the people who voted didn't want either of the two criminals. If there were ever a year for a third party, this was it. But we all bought back into the two party system for another go-around. Lol at us. They at least would have been smarter, right? RIGHT?! No. This is of course much the same as people will complain about a business, then continue to support it because "there's nothing else." There was, but we didn't shop there before it went out of business. There likely will be again one day, but when that day comes, we'll look at the prices and shop at the big box store.

    We make our own Hell, it would seem.

    Once again: Us and Them. And after all, we're only ordinary men.

    I don't have any answers, so don't think of this as that, or that I'm ole So-crates and must be put to death or exiled for ridiculous questions/philisophical-rants to make others feel stupid (which is kinda a funny story about human psychology), but it's something I've always found kind of... funny and I've just never been able to figure both why folk recognise one minute, but not the next that we find what we seek in life, as well as how we advance past our own natural tendency to dichotimously disect things into opposing groups. The only answer I could find for myself was to simply consciously look for similarities over differences between groups, enough of which eventually does seep in slowly to the subconscious, but it's a patch over a hole embedded within the fabric of my neural system.

    Looking at this now, I guess there was no real point to this rant, or more likely just rambling. Idk, I guess I just see a whole bunch of bullshit being thrown around when most people probably agree with each other anyway, but split hairs and all of a sudden we're dire opposites. I suppose I just feel the want to say something amidst this... circus of activity. We're all dumb, humans are collectively retarded and though one of us may shine today, tomorrow we'll be a moron and yesterday we were a jackass. In a week we might be average, but good luck finding an average when 90% of the population believes they are above it.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Paul McCartney is very much in favour of Paul McCartney.

      That's about it though.

    2. (See 9 other replies to this status update)

  3. Is it the repetition? Or Christopher Walken's delivery? Or people's reactions to it? Do you guys get it? Do you have to be American to understand it? Are you even supposed to understand it or is it supposed to be nonsensical? Boy, I have many questions today.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      TheCupboard said:

      If you are under 21 I think the Blogs section should be disabled, thoughts?

      I think the blogs section, much like the special olympics, is already plenty fucking disabled.

      Snide comments aside, I concur wholeheartedly.

    2. (See 8 other replies to this status update)

  4. And afterall, we're only ordinary men.

    Right and wrong
    Balck and white
    Good and evil
    Up and down
    With and without
    Nice and mean
    Truth and lies
    Fast and slow
    Left and right
    Front and back
    Rich and poor
    Demican and republicrat
    Smart and dumb
    Man and woman
    Creation and evolution
    Capitalist and communist
    Tolerance and intolerance [read: racism/sexism/agism/nationalism/ismism]
    Healthy and unhealthy
    Man-made and natural
    Nature vs nurture



    We know things by their opposites. This is part of the basics of how our brain functions and a key part to how we learn. The easiest and most clear-cut way to define something is to say it's "not ___." Take a look at our knowledge of biology: in the dichotomous tree, splits happen where something either is or isn't; has or has not.

    Within comradery we find that we are all similar, while within opposition we find out how different we are. Given that we so often find what we seek in life, this is no surprise; if I look for similarities, that is what I'll find. If I look for differences, I'll surely find no end.

    Assimilation and accommodation. Fitting something into your current schema and adjusting your schema to fit a new stimulus. But there could never be accommodation without discrimination; you must first learn that there is a difference before your brain can group two otherwise similar things together, otherwise all cats and dogs would still be "kitties" to us, wouldn't they?

    Us and them; most of us view ourselves as good, intelligent people. Therefore, any group we belong to will likely share our views on ourself. After all, why would any intelligent person group themselves in with a bunch of stupid people, or a good person with a bunch of evil people, etc? If nothing else, our view of ourself is reflected in our views of those who belong to our same "group," or more-so the group which we choose to belong to. Therefore, we are good, we are intelligent, we are tolerant. By default, if those are defining words for "us," then "they" must have a different set of words to define "them." Given our tendency to split things two, and only two, ways, that makes them by default our opposite. That makes them by default stupid, intolerant, and evil. Otherwise, they would be "us." This is not to argue against a grey area, of course there is one, but we often pretend to be more intelligent than we really are; humans are simple-minded at their core. Our advanced faculties might be capable of questioning if we are, or whether-or-not the shepherd has our best intentions in mind, but at our core we are animals, with the same materials used to make us. Above we may understand more, but underneath the surface this is but an elaborate facade we have made for ourselves.

    Back on whatever subject it was, even just by saying "we are tolerant," a person is making a comparison. To nothing specific, of course, but a comparison nonetheless. If everybody in the world were the same level of tolerant, then nobody would describe themselves as tolerant. Same goes with intelligence and good intentions. It's really easy to view "them" as stupid, intolerant, or having bad intentions; too easy, perhaps.

    We are all only given one perspective in life. It is impossible for any of us to put ourselves in another's shoes, as we fail at the outset by having been exposed to different stimuli throughout our life/childhood and having learned to be different over time. No matter how similar another person may be to you, in the end there are always differences. Without understanding of this, it would be impossible for two people to be together for long periods of time as two people can never share the exact same perspective. Maybe I didn't pick up on some body language that you did, maybe you were directly involved while I wasn't, or maybe it was actually me and you that got into an argument, in which case the difference is at the front door. Just as we have to be understanding of our peers, fellow members of whoever "us" may be at the time, (and let's not mistake that when we feel a similarity or a bond with anybody, we view them as one of "us" for at least that millisecond in time) we must be understanding of all people.

    Who can really pretend to be above the average person? Parhaps one day you were; "any given Sunday" and all that, (for my non-American brothers and sisters: an American football saying; that even the worst team can upset the best team any given Sunday [when most games tended to be held, and still the biggest "game day"]) but perhaps it was just in the categories tested, and perhaps most of all it was just in the categories you knew were tested. We all play the part of the fool in our own time.

    What we learn throughout our life shapes who we are, as does what we choose not to learn. It's easy to say that this other person did something or supports something because they are stupid, but that other person has the same thoughts and feelings that you do. When I look back on mistakes I've made, especially the ones that actually amounted to something more than a minor inconvenience and a bit of frustration, it's not that I wasn't thinking, it's that I made a conscious decision to do whatever it was that wound up being a mistake. Even something as simple as getting into an argument with somebody; it's really not too far unlike the skits Dave Chappelle did "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong." Most people, I beleive, have a filter in their heads of their own actions, though admittedly most of us also don't choose to take full advantage of said filter, especially given that most of the time it's a split-second decision made on a whim.

    Follow that along to the things we support and back to the Us and Them: we come to expect certain things out of, for example, political groups (of which this thread mostly isn't about, but the Us and Them situation within politics is rampant and tough to avoid when on this subject). So we learn that group x is terrible and has these horrible notions, though we, on the surface at least, acknowledge that the other group is just as bad. But as bad as group y may be, they're totally not as bad as group x. Even pretending to be an independent, the Us and Them situation is alive and well within our own thoughts; indeed, it's engrained into our learning process. More-so, many independents I talk to are merely disenfranchised with the two-party system we have, yet at the end of the cycle they continue to buy into it with the logic that voting anything but Republicrat or Demican is "throwing your vote away." Think about the fact that over 50% of the people who voted didn't want either of the two criminals. If there were ever a year for a third party, this was it. But we all bought back into the two party system for another go-around. Lol at us. They at least would have been smarter, right? RIGHT?! No. This is of course much the same as people will complain about a business, then continue to support it because "there's nothing else." There was, but we didn't shop there before it went out of business. There likely will be again one day, but when that day comes, we'll look at the prices and shop at the big box store.

    We make our own Hell, it would seem.

    Once again: Us and Them. And after all, we're only ordinary men.

    I don't have any answers, so don't think of this as that, or that I'm ole So-crates and must be put to death or exiled for ridiculous questions/philisophical-rants to make others feel stupid (which is kinda a funny story about human psychology), but it's something I've always found kind of... funny and I've just never been able to figure both why folk recognise one minute, but not the next that we find what we seek in life, as well as how we advance past our own natural tendency to dichotimously disect things into opposing groups. The only answer I could find for myself was to simply consciously look for similarities over differences between groups, enough of which eventually does seep in slowly to the subconscious, but it's a patch over a hole embedded within the fabric of my neural system.

    Looking at this now, I guess there was no real point to this rant, or more likely just rambling. Idk, I guess I just see a whole bunch of bullshit being thrown around when most people probably agree with each other anyway, but split hairs and all of a sudden we're dire opposites. I suppose I just feel the want to say something amidst this... circus of activity. We're all dumb, humans are collectively retarded and though one of us may shine today, tomorrow we'll be a moron and yesterday we were a jackass. In a week we might be average, but good luck finding an average when 90% of the population believes they are above it.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Fuck knows, this sort of shit is all over the internet right now. I think some of the Trump people are taking the 'we must unite together as one to heal our nation' shit a little bit literally, and are wandering from forum to forum trying to assimilate people like a mentally retarded Borg.

    2. (See 9 other replies to this status update)

  5. They banned political discussions but didn't provide an alternative. So where are we going now? Would be nice to have one centralized place for all Doomworlders.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      darknation sheds a single, manly tear for the Politics & Religion forum

    2. (See 32 other replies to this status update)

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Megalyth said:

      Do you have a proof-reader yet? I could lend a hand pointing out any errors I notice.


      Not as such, no; honestly, when it comes to editing / rewriting, for every error fixed I add another one by accident. There is little point in really going through it with a fine comb until I am completely satisfied that the damn thing is finished.

      For example; the biggest current pain in the ass is changing 80'000 words of past-tense into the present-tense. Basically, every single sentence needs to be rewritten and restructured. For example, beta 03 reads: -

      The fat man span, pissing all over the place as he went. His trousers were down around his ankles, and they tripped the already unsteady Fatmandu and sent him once more crashing down towards the ground. He battered his head savagely against the toilet on the way, ripping away the already broken pan-lid as he fell. The tiled floor finished the job of knocking Fatmandu unconscious with an eye-watering crack to the skull, a sound that bounced around the bathroom with an oddly hollow resonance.

      Which is fine, but tedious. Moving it to present tense provides a sense of urgency. Beta 09 reads;

      The fat man spins with the impact, hosing the room as he goes. His trousers are already down around his ankles - his legs become entangled, and the already unsteady Fatmandu is going down, down, down. He batters his head savagely against the toilet, he rips away the pan-lid as he falls.

      The marbled tiles of the toilet floor are what finish him, however. Skull and filthy ceramic clatter together, and the sound they make has an oddly hollow resonance to it. It echoes in the bathroom, like a hammer blow falling on a coconut.



      Same basic paragraph, but it involved a complete rewrite. Probably more, to be honest, and I'm still not 100% happy with it.

      The point is that any fine proof reading will be lost the next time I scream "Fuck it" and move the entire thing into a tense that hasn't even been invented yet. That said, feel free to point out any errors / grammatical fuck ups you find and I'll add them to my bug tracker.

      The offer was appreciated.


      Mithran Denizen said:

      I assume by "made it myself", you mean the wonderful art/motif itself, but not an actual tie, right?*

      Yeah, just the graphic, not the tie. I don't think the world is ready for a garment of such magnificence yet.

      Mithran Denizen said:

      Heh. The prose is far tamer than my initial expectations, given your DWF posting,



      There *are* older versions that are considerably more profane. Part of the editing process has been to remove words that were unnecessary and improve the flow of the novel.

      Technical: The opening chapters are a prologue, and not necessarily stylistically typical of the whole. What I'm attempting to write is a gothic comedy; words should flow into each other, the tone should be one of a slowly rising dread that either resolves into horror or a laugh. Not knowing which one to expect at any given time should, I hope, make the prose unnerving and turn the gothic aspects of the atmosphere up to 11.

      This said, punctuating sentences with fuck or cunt needs to be done for a specific reason; most curse words are guttural and sharp sounding, and if they are used throughout then it's hard to get a good whispering feeling of dread going. It's akin to writing poetry; you need to be aware of where the stresses are and how the sibilants fall.

      So, my usual practice of using Fuck every second word is out.

    2. (See 11 other replies to this status update)

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Sure. Here's a mock up I made in PSP / 5 minutes to illustrate the concept. It's rough as fuck, but you get the idea.



      Fortunately, I studied graphic design in college, so I can get away with this sort of shit by typing a lot of words that turn an offensive concept into something approaching art.

      1) I was greatly influenced by Rob Grant (or was it Doug Naylor?), who described a character turning up for a court case "...wearing an M&S Kipper tie, complete with Woman In Birthing Stirrups motif." I read it, laughed my ass off, and then found myself mildly depressed that such a thing did not actually exist in the real world. So, I did what any rational man would do, and made it myself.

      2) Sex sells.

      3) It actually has something to do with the plot. Tangentially.

      4) Someone pointed out that you can't put a vagina on the front cover of your novel, because society is still light years behind me on this front. So, after a bit of careful consideration, I adopted the technique used by British porn mags in the 1980's. You can print pictures of women spread-eagled in the centerfold of your magazine no problem, provided you cover up their genital opening with a little blue dot.

      'Tis a true fact. Those of a certain age will remember this phenomenon. You can look it up if you don't believe me.

      So, the idea is this; the books are printed (and, because I suck and have no publisher, I will be doing this via some private vanity printer) and mailed to me in a dirty great big box. Then, using blue stickers from crafts section of my local art store, I will apply said stickers in a vagina-covering position upon the offending portion of the image.

      And so we come to the great experiment; when presented with the censored vagina, will *you* run a fingernail against the blue dot? Will you peel it off to see what lies beneath?

      Will you open Pandora's Crotch?

    2. (See 11 other replies to this status update)

  6. I was recently introduced to the ClearType option in Windows. Apparently it's supposed to make fonts look nicer. So far I'm seeing the opposite: instead of letters being crystal clear, they appear sort of blurry, as if my eyes got a little unfocused. I guess I'll try using it for a few days and see if it gets better. So far I don't really get it when it comes to latin symbols, while Japanese symbols seem to be easier to read I think.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      because it's against a white background, and if you shine white through a prism...

    2. (See 16 other replies to this status update)

  7. I was recently introduced to the ClearType option in Windows. Apparently it's supposed to make fonts look nicer. So far I'm seeing the opposite: instead of letters being crystal clear, they appear sort of blurry, as if my eyes got a little unfocused. I guess I'll try using it for a few days and see if it gets better. So far I don't really get it when it comes to latin symbols, while Japanese symbols seem to be easier to read I think.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      there is anti-aliasing on the fonts in the left hand image. I imagine you're getting a sore head because your resolution is too low. Switch that cleartype shit off and embrace the fucking glory of windows 98 stylee.

    2. (See 16 other replies to this status update)

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Chapter 02 – The Girl and the Snake
      (02/11/16 beta 5)
      400 words


      The Girl and the Snake




      Ziggie’s father is dead. He killed himself when she was five years old.

      His body was never found, presumably drowned and swept out to sea. The funeral service was a shameful afterthought, coming three months late and scarcely attended. Friends and family alike begged off with cards of condolence; few of the living saw the point of mourning with an empty casket.

      As for those who did come, not one will mention how he died. All eyes are averted and the sympathies offered are awkward, stilted things, empty phrases learned by rote and brought out in times of desperation for want of anything better to say.

      The church is unheated, the day outside is cold. Ziggie watches the prayers of the half-hearted crystallize in the damp air. The words rise up in clouds towards the rafters - there, they disperse, vanishing before God has a chance to hear them.

      Ziggie, five years old, has learned why we keep our eyes downcast when grieving. Ziggie looks towards heaven and sees nothing to comfort her, she has seen nothing but vultures circling overhead for weeks now. They have taken a keepsake here, a photograph there, a gold chain to remember him by, or perhaps a sovereign ring to lay aside and forget. Ziggie is only five years old but she can see the estate being picked apart, that the solicitors are tearing life into smaller, easily digestible chunks. The bad men cut a few hundred from here, they slice a thousand from there; she has seen them gorge themselves whilst gloating over a policy made worthless by a suicide.

      Aye, death attracts the vultures. Vultures like her Uncle, who now stands with Ziggie’s mother, one arm draped across her shoulders, united in a pastiche of mourning. He too is a bad man, one to beware of, one whom her father would give no time and used to swear away.

      Ziggie’s father is dead. In his place stands a stranger who wears her father’s face but not his smile, who has her father’s hair but lacks the kindness of his eyes. This stranger, this thief of the familiar, stands beside her mother, twisting a mouth that isn’t his to whisper in her ear.

      The hand slips down a little. The arm around her mother’s shoulder tightens.
      The resigned mourners glance knowingly at each other as they pass outwards to the door. Ziggie sees it too; she sees her uncle, wrapped around her mother like a snake, and she cannot understand why.

      Her uncle’s oily, black eyes flick once in her direction. Ziggie’s father is dead, and Ziggie is afraid.

    2. (See 11 other replies to this status update)

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Yeah, plan is a chapter every week. And if you hate the title, I can guarantee you'll loathe the front cover.

      Thanks for reading. I hope you'll come back.

    2. (See 11 other replies to this status update)

  8. Confession time; - I have done nothing creative for the past year.

    This obviously sucks, and frankly I feel poor about it, but at the same time I am a lazy motherfucker and it's easier to fuck about online / irl rather than do anything about it. Used to be I'd spend at least ten hours a week trying to better myself when it came to writing, but these days I doubt I've spent more then ten hours during the whole fucking year doing anything even remotely productive.

    It's not good.

    I think I pretty much broke myself rewriting my shit novel for two years straight, all the time kidding myself about what a monstrous task I was undertaking. Finally, it set in that I was looking at another two years at least of rewrites before I would be anywhere even close to finishing and, having stupidly spent all that time writing the same fucking thing over and over and over again, I had actually forgotten how to look at a blank page and come up with something new.

    Dumb mistake, strangling myself like that, but whatever. Worse, now I look at what I'd been writing for all that time and have a paralyzed "Ugh, fuck that," reaction, close down the word processor and instead go to youtube to veg out.

    Thing is, I really need to be working on something to make myself feel viable as a human being; this fucked up laziness, while being the easy option, is beginning to eat away at my self esteem and devaluate my my feelings of worth.

    So, trying to figure out what the fuck to do about it. I'm asking how other people deal with being creatively burnt out / being a chronically lazy bastard and what the best road back to recovery is.

    I think I good start might be to remove the internet entirely from my work computer, but I'm willing to try other less drastic solutions to the problem first.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Some good advice, some less good advice. I think the main problem lies in not understanding the actual mechanism that allows me to zone out of reality and enter the headspace needed to start writing.

      I have noticed that, as I become more aware of style / become a more technical writer, the harder it becomes to ignore the reality of hammering on a keyboard to make words happen. Hard to explain, really. If my technique for getting into the mindset for writing used to be the equivalent of daydreaming, then what I have to do now to maintain a technical understanding and proficiency is more akin to lucid dreaming. Keeping the imagination flowing whilst simultaneously imposing a strict framework upon it is fucking difficult.

      Also, people who write in coffee houses are the lowest form of hipster scum on god's clean earth.

    2. (See 7 other replies to this status update)

  9. Confession time; - I have done nothing creative for the past year.

    This obviously sucks, and frankly I feel poor about it, but at the same time I am a lazy motherfucker and it's easier to fuck about online / irl rather than do anything about it. Used to be I'd spend at least ten hours a week trying to better myself when it came to writing, but these days I doubt I've spent more then ten hours during the whole fucking year doing anything even remotely productive.

    It's not good.

    I think I pretty much broke myself rewriting my shit novel for two years straight, all the time kidding myself about what a monstrous task I was undertaking. Finally, it set in that I was looking at another two years at least of rewrites before I would be anywhere even close to finishing and, having stupidly spent all that time writing the same fucking thing over and over and over again, I had actually forgotten how to look at a blank page and come up with something new.

    Dumb mistake, strangling myself like that, but whatever. Worse, now I look at what I'd been writing for all that time and have a paralyzed "Ugh, fuck that," reaction, close down the word processor and instead go to youtube to veg out.

    Thing is, I really need to be working on something to make myself feel viable as a human being; this fucked up laziness, while being the easy option, is beginning to eat away at my self esteem and devaluate my my feelings of worth.

    So, trying to figure out what the fuck to do about it. I'm asking how other people deal with being creatively burnt out / being a chronically lazy bastard and what the best road back to recovery is.

    I think I good start might be to remove the internet entirely from my work computer, but I'm willing to try other less drastic solutions to the problem first.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Well, I finally bit the bullet and did some work because fuck it, there is no point in complaining about shit if you're not willing do do something about it. I'll probably start posting this piece of shit novel on blogs once I find a way to format a chapter in such a way that it doesn't look like a solid wall of ass on the forums. Might motivate me to actually finish the bastarding thing.

    2. (See 7 other replies to this status update)

  10. I was trying to post a comment on YouTube today but kept getting some unknown error. Then I swapped "shitty ass" in that comment with "crap" and it finally got through. And that's bullshit.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Tarnsman said:

      If that's the case, again, there are some nice safe spaces with children's toys that you could always go to in order to avoid the things that offend your precious sensibilities. That or you could just not be so perpetually offended at everything.

      This seems awfully familiar, almost like someone was using these exact same words and phrases less than 20 posts earlier in the thread. Which is weird, because I'm sure that Tarnsman dismissed those same words and phrases as contradictory bullshit.

      Must be different when he does it.

    2. (See 77 other replies to this status update)

  11. I was trying to post a comment on YouTube today but kept getting some unknown error. Then I swapped "shitty ass" in that comment with "crap" and it finally got through. And that's bullshit.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Mr. Freeze said:

      Are you implying that conversion therapy works?

      Sure it does. Anything is possible in this marvelous modern age, you can be and do anything. It's entirely possible to chain a man up in a basement and beat him for two years until he is so psychologically damaged that he thinks he's a poodle, refuses to drink anything other than ditch water and has a mental block against taking a shit on the Sabbath.

    2. (See 77 other replies to this status update)

  12. I was trying to post a comment on YouTube today but kept getting some unknown error. Then I swapped "shitty ass" in that comment with "crap" and it finally got through. And that's bullshit.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Tarnsman said:

      Choice? No. You even contradict this notion immediately after you call it a choice. People don't chose their taste in music. They either like it or they don't. Unless you're the worst kind of pretentious snob no one says "hmmm I think I'm going to choose to like this genre of music."


      Perhaps a choice was a poor, erm, choice of words. But I don't subscribe to your binary version either. People, by and large, exist on a sexual spectrum, and most do indeed 'choose' to either identify as gay or straight at some point. Those two are the clubhouses, and there is where you will be hanging your hat for the foreseeable future.

      Tarnsman said:

      Secondly. What fucking toys are being taken away? Seriously. Like what impact has the progressive diversity push actually had on your life?


      First, I acknowledged the contradictions between being intellectually fine with it and emotionally being a bastard about it. I used the metaphor of 'Toys' for a reason.

      Second, I am playing when I post here. I am playing when I post there. I enjoy posting on forums and I enjoy actual debate, trolling, being playful with the English language and being an obscene motherfucker as the mood takes me. When you ask me what toys have been taken away, I point you to the numerous loserings and bans I have received for voicing opinions that ran counter to a progressive agenda. The forums have changed, my old stomping grounds have become something different and hyper-sensitive, my toys are now in the hands of others.

      And I am trying to play nicely with them in this new world order. Really, I am. But please, stop misconstruing what I am saying and try to read between the lines, because it is a delicate fucking facade. And this is how I play.

    2. (See 77 other replies to this status update)

  13. I was trying to post a comment on YouTube today but kept getting some unknown error. Then I swapped "shitty ass" in that comment with "crap" and it finally got through. And that's bullshit.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      If you are asking if homosexuality is nature or nurture, who gives a fuck? What matters is your reaction to it all. You can either learn to love the cock and, by extension, love those who also love the cock, or you can be perpetually offended for all eternity by cock lovers.

    2. (See 77 other replies to this status update)

  14. I was trying to post a comment on YouTube today but kept getting some unknown error. Then I swapped "shitty ass" in that comment with "crap" and it finally got through. And that's bullshit.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Christ almighty.

      First, Youtube censorship. The comments section is a shithole. An utter, utter shithole. Most video comments read like 4chan during the summer holidays, only without the delightful image macros to remind you that no one is taking this unholy shitposting seriously. Something needed to be done and, because concentration camps and forced sterilization are considered passé, Youtube put a Fuck You filter on it.

      Anyone who did not see this coming is a moron.

      Second, Youtube corporate social policy. Like it or not, we are living in an era where diversity is being pushed. You can call it Positive Discrimination if you like: - If you are a white heterosexual neckbearded male then tough shit. You are having your toys taken away and given to the other kids in the playground. It is time for other people to play.

      Do I agree with this? Yes, on an intellectual level, I do. I don't think equality is ever going to happen, but I can understand the importance of at least trying. I confess that there is also a piece of me that is fucking pissed off, because I hear SJWs screaming about how Cultural Appropriation is wrong, and then have to watch as they steal my fucking culture and start shitting up all the stuff that I like doing. Know what, Balder's Gate was FINE without someone shoehorning in a trans character (redundantly, in a setting that has the fucking Belt of Tits or whatever the fuck that item is that instantaneously changed your character's gender). But, hey, fuck it, live and let live, you can play in my house if you act like a rational human being, show some fucking respect, and leave the damn drama at the door.

      Third, Gays! We move onto the subject of gay people, and it's worth providing a definition of Gay and moving from there.

      Let's pare it down. Ultimately, being gay is a simple aesthetic choice. That's all there is to it. Your senses are either pleased by tits and vagina or are pleased by hairy man ass and cock. That's it, that's all, it's as banal and boring as a personal preference for classical music or a liking for heavy metal.

      Unfortunately, people tend to get their heads all fucked up and mix this up with religion, morals, peer pressure and all sorts of other bullshit. And, as a result, everyone goes fucking insane. People fight and rage and the end result is segregation: gay people only hang out with other gay people, gay clubs arise, straight people start fag bashing, retards start espousing an "it's either us or them and they are The Other' rhetoric and everything goes to fucking shit once again.

      And so we come back to the reason why pushing diversity is so important. Because we, as a society, do not want that. I, personally, do not want that. People on both sides of the debate are are feeling alienated, forming their own circles, clubs, and online cliques, and then waging war against those whom they designate the enemy. I get it, I really do. Youtube, Gamergate, whatever. Even Doomworld, my online home for 16 fucking years, is now becoming progressive. My toys are being taken away, I'm watching my friends being banned for being insensitive trolls when being an insensitive troll is my fucking culture.

      Intellectually, I get it. On a personal level, not so much.

      As I said, I don't think equality is possible, because every single human being is out for theirs and their own. What we can push for is balance and that balance includes people like Technician being willfully obtuse and insensitive. Stop him from voicing his opinion and, guess what, the equality that you espouse is revealed instantly as a fucking sham in which some people are more equal than others.

      edit: this post is a fucking mess and whatever original point I had has been lost. Fuck it, I guess I needed something off my chest and this was it, and frankly the thread is so schizophrenic that I don't think anyone will actually notice anyway.

    2. (See 77 other replies to this status update)

  15. Hi,

    I came across your site and I’d like to find out about the possibility of purchasing some advertising space.

    Please let me know if this is something you’re interested in and we can discuss things a little further.

    Thanks for your time.


    Stephanie

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Darknation.

      Monetizing butthurt since the year 2000. Accept no substitutes.



      _________________________

    2. (See 16 other replies to this status update)

  16. First step is to basically block my testosterone, so I got these:
    Spironolactone 25 MG, 2 plls a day per 3 months
    Diethylstilbestrol 2 MG 1 a day per 3 months

    My T levels are 7.7, according to my doc they have to go down to something between 0.x to 1

    1. darknation

      darknation

      Captain Red said:

      Not a single letter in Phml's post polite or direct and nobody is calling darknation a shit poster, drive-by or otherwise (in this thread).

      Instead of apologizing for Phml, why don't we give credit to darknation for salving a few interesting observations for the purpose of cultivating discussion?

      That's actually admiral. Kudos dude, way to be the Gallant to Phmls Goofus.

      Yeah you know that thread is fucked when I'm the one who has to pull it out of the shitter.

    2. (See 69 other replies to this status update)

  17. First step is to basically block my testosterone, so I got these:
    Spironolactone 25 MG, 2 plls a day per 3 months
    Diethylstilbestrol 2 MG 1 a day per 3 months

    My T levels are 7.7, according to my doc they have to go down to something between 0.x to 1

    1. darknation

      darknation

      yukib1t said:

      stuff

      Thank you for being honest. I was impressed by your honesty, although, in full disclosure, I am drunk as fuck right now.

      I will reply when sober. Although, again in the spirit of honesty, spellcheck makes it to easy to answer whilst in the the thrall of brain altering chemicals.

      Still, you have my admiration. Not because you are trans, but because you have been a less crap member of this community over the years. Keep on rocking in the free world !m!

    2. (See 69 other replies to this status update)

  18. First step is to basically block my testosterone, so I got these:
    Spironolactone 25 MG, 2 plls a day per 3 months
    Diethylstilbestrol 2 MG 1 a day per 3 months

    My T levels are 7.7, according to my doc they have to go down to something between 0.x to 1

    1. darknation

      darknation

      I think so. I don't think you can have a debate without it. And, the last time this topic came up, I was getting messages from people who were in agreement with some of the things I said (people from both sides of the LGBT spectrum, natch) but didn't post publicly because they fear the ban hammer.

      Just saying.

    2. (See 69 other replies to this status update)

  19. First step is to basically block my testosterone, so I got these:
    Spironolactone 25 MG, 2 plls a day per 3 months
    Diethylstilbestrol 2 MG 1 a day per 3 months

    My T levels are 7.7, according to my doc they have to go down to something between 0.x to 1

    1. darknation

      darknation

      And so it begins.

      I think Phml's point was this: Whilst posting, certain members of the sub-culture (not all) overdose on emojji and <3 so kwaii <3 behavior because, in their minds, that's what women do. Then, when confronted by something that annoys them, they revert back to male stereotype growls and caps lock threats.

      It's the online equivalent of pitching your voice an octave higher because, apparently, that's how women speak, only to drop back into a masculine growl when confronted with something they didn't much like. It confirms an act is being performed, and is evidence that the identity in question is not valid.

      But since it's Phml and he is utterly unable to articulate himself, you get the word salad post above. But his point is, in my opinion, worth contemplating.

    2. (See 69 other replies to this status update)

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