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I approve. Profound and deep and faintly disturbing.
I take it you've taken some scars from the opposite sex. I'm with that.
In a couple of places the tense slips from past to present, and here and there needs a few more commas. Semicolon use could use some work. Other little things. But meh. I don't wanna make the mistake of missing the forest for the trees. Generally it is pretty good.
Some say that Charlie's balls glow blue when Orcs are near.
I was scanning through quickly and saw this. I'm scared.
That said, I think Charlie is The Stig.
EDIT: Oh he's a dog! Was worried for a second [/idiot]