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About darknation

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  1. fannying about on the internet instead of doing work on my book. Need some mojoes. Motivate me.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Bucket


      darknation said:

      alright, let's play a game. I am attempting to describe the passage of years and the ravages that time inflicts upon the body of a chronic alcoholic. The best I can come up with is;-

      "...and the years kept piling on and on, like niggers at a gangbang."

      Now, I like it, but it needs less niggers. Publishers will not like the niggers. I need something other than niggers that also likes gangbanging. Thesaurus.com has less nigger synonyms that I'd like so I come to you, the denizens of blogs, to help me out here.

      Wrong - it needs FEWER niggers.

      Porch monkeys
      Tar Babies

    3. durian


      I am surprised that you took me to be recommending that you opt for a metaphor rather than a simile, as if these these were the only two options. In general I find that when writers rely too heavily on either of these devices, the upshot is prose that is forced and leaden, and which - with the superaddition of often convoluted abstractions - serves only to divert the reader's attention away from the situation that's supposedly being described (especially where the simile or metaphor is mindbogglingly strained).
      So, what I should have said was that I recommend describing the situation by, you know, describing it, without resorting to either simile or metaphor (no doubt this is more difficult).