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this was an interesting conversation I had with a friend in the car... basically, we were going through the nicknames that we and others had in school. I just got called Mallis, but some other guys and girls had just awful nicknames.
Anyway, here's a list of the people and their nicknames that attended school in my year or so... feel free to add your own memories.
Wildebeest: computing teacher. Had a beard and glasses, looked like a Wildebeest.
Bungle: Techy teacher. Named after the Rainbow character.
Bridgie: Also known as Slasher, after the big red marks on her wrists. Mad Robbie just to abuse her somewhat rotten. She sat on his desk once and he drew the outline of her arse-cheeks on the desk and wrote 'QUARENTINE' inside the outline.
Refugee: A poor person who smelled quite badly.
Assman / Gargantua: Fat, smelly retard with the world's biggest ass. It was huge.
Mad Robbie: See Bridgie. My mentor in the ways of evil.
Shi'dae: Scottish variation on "She'd do", as in "I'd fuck her".
Bushcut / Forest: A guy who would undress for P.E and no one could tell he was naked. Extreme body hair problem / fire hazard.
Gook: oriental person.
Bootpolish: Total skank. You wouldn't let her clean your boots with her tongue.
Sayless: You really wanted him to Say Less. Also known as Gaz, for reasons unknown.
Pussy-Go-Lightly: 20 stone whale. Also called Tank.
Minky McMurchy: Additional skank, couldn't afford clothes. Also couldn't afford sanitary towels, as evidenced by a totally gross incident in the lab when blood started running down her leg.
Mini-Me: Mentally deficient dwarf who walked around school all day singing to himself and actually asking people to beat him up so he could get sent home.
Mongol Jim (and the prosperity brigade): Day care visitors from a mental home.
Charlene the Unclean: Gargantua's cousin who eventually started an incestuous relationship with him. Pretty grim.
Ministry: Desperate skank who suffered from polo as a child. Named after Monty Python's "Ministry of Funny Walks".
Pleu: Named after the sound of vomiting as you looked at her face. (Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuu!!!)
Blob: Mortal enemy of dn. Named because his body was an amorphous shapeless mess of goo and lard.
Purple Pig: Graham (Gray Ham. Yes, it's a weird one.)
Spamheid: Mr Waddle, asshole who annoyed dn greatly in art class. Named after his bald head, which had the texture of spam.
Frankie: Real name Kenneth, 7 foot high in second year. Named after Frankenstein’s monster.
Lowman: David Low.
Woman: Also David Low.
More as I remember them...
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I was stuck with Dick Dow for awhile. I made it clear that I didn't like it though, so the only people who call me it now are those who don't really know me that well
Our school isn't really that big into nicknames, now that I think about it. Wait . . . ahahaha. At our lunch table we all came up with nicknames for ourselves one day. It lasted approximately that lunch period, but it was pretty funny for that day at least.
Lunch Box: Me. I got it cause I actually take a lunch box to school. (Hey, what the Hell man, it keeps the shit cold and I have a lot more snacks than everyone else) Anyway, somehow I pissed off some seniors at a table near us and one of 'em said, "Hey Lunch Box, shut up!" It took over half a year for me to get harassed about it, which was pretty shocking.
Q-Tip: This kid dyed his hair like bright yellow towards the front, so it was like brown in the back. Some uperclassmen thought his head looked like a dirty Q-tip, and heh, there ya go.
Beggar: Dude at our table who always begged for money. And then when I offered him 5 bucks to alley-oop is trash into the can on the last day of school, he bitched out and was like, "Uh no man, I need that all in bills, no change." Whatever.
Jello: This dude was very protective of his Jello . . . so we stole it everyday. I swear once he almost cried over it.
Cheese: This dude got caught stealing cheese once. They make us pay 50 cents for it, but pretty much everyone takes it. So he sits down and the teacher comes up to him and goes, "Did you pay for that cheese?" "What"? "That cheese, did you pay for it?" "Uh . . . I think so." Awesome response, "I think so". Anyway, the teacher made him go up and pay for it.
We wanted to cal him Wigger, 'cause he is one, but that would have gotten our asses kicked.
Ghandi: My friends' nickname for me back in the day at HS because I had glasses and I was thin like Mohandas Ghandi. Also for most of 11th grade I had a moustache, which only made my nickname stick harder.
Central Park: Some really, REALLY fat chick in my Music Appreciation class back in 12th grade. She was roughly the size of Central Park, despite the fact she was only about 5'6" tall or so.
Stilts: This was the name we chose for one Joshua Crawford, a good and great friend of mine, back in the day because he was so much taller than the rest of our 11th grade class. I think he stood, and still stands, at around 6'8" or so.
Napoleon: This was the name I gave to my 10th grade History teacher, who was only 5'3" but acted as though he were much, much bigger.
Pokey: One Jonathan Ferguson acquired this nickname back along about 9th grade, because of his excessive slowness in schoolwork, talking, thinking, and just about everything else.
Cousin It: Other name for the aforementioned Jonathan Ferguson, who at only 15 years old had more body hair than most grown men do.
Oh, and one I forgot:
Bloody Tampon: Our nickname for some dude back in 9th grade whose real name was Marshal something or other, but who had really bright red hair and freckles. Was also referred to as Opie.