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darknation

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  1. darknation

    I sit upon the toilet seat
    Where I have been for half a week
    I squeeze and squeeze with no result
    I grunt and wheeze and cannot halt
    For if I stand with awkward stance
    I'll loose control and shit my pants
    So here I stay and sit and wait
    And gurn and fart and constipate

    Help me Lord, my soul I'd give
    For half an ounce of laxative

    Desperate times and desperate act
    Desperate rhymes and stubborn scat
    A plan comes forth through thought and doubt
    I'll use a pen and work it out!
    Or sod the pen, I cannot linger
    Use my fucking index finger!
    The digit slides into my ass
    Into my rectum it does pass
    Through the rancid human faecal muck

    My fucking finger...

    Fucking...

    Stuck.

    OH SHIT.

    1. Show previous comments  11 more
    2. Janderson

      Janderson

      Infinite Ammunition said:

      this story touched me in emotional places i never knew i had

      darknation touched me too :'(

    3. Grazza

      Grazza

      Jayextee said:

      Between then and now, it turned from a forum of poop jokes to a pamphlet of left-wing humour. And poop jokes ;)

      I don't see what's left-wing about Viz. If anything it's a tiny little bit right-wing (look at some of their "targets"), but basically apolitical.

      BTW, I've recently read Rude Kids - highly recommended if you're a long-time Viz reader.

    4. Jayextee

      Jayextee

      Grazza said:

      If anything it's a tiny little bit right-wing (look at some of their "targets"), but basically apolitical.


      Do you not understand the irony? Or is it just me injecting some anyway? I tend to do that :P

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