Single Status Update
So yesterday my cousin threw a party. She throws a lot of parties. She's 21. Last night's party I felt was the Jerry Springer party.
1. Someone and her little sister show up. The little sister is 16 and wants to be drinking and light up pot. Like immediately getting there. My cousin did the same thing at her age, but now that my cousin is 21, she knows that she'd go to jail for letting a minor do that.
The sister needs to be ejected.
2. Another girl was there... I know she's slept with 1 guy there and got HPV from him. That guy slept with HER SISTER to get back at her and gave her HPV too. These pair of sisters have slept with 3 of the same guys. Jerry Springer.
So then my cousin texts me she doesn't like the guy he brought. The guy he brought is a stoner, just laid on the couch all night watching cartoons. Then I showed the slut... and she said she's slept with him too and he's good in bed... but he's a lump on the couch.
I text my cousin wondering if I'm the only guy there that hasn't slept with the slut. My cousin confirms.
3. The slut had her 4 year old there, because originally there was going to be another 4 year old there. One of the guys starts calling the 4 year old an asshole to his face with his mama there. Lovely.
4. There's a black guy that's in love with my cousin's older sister. This sister is married with 4 kids. To stay close to my cousin's sister, he likes to pretend to be my cousin's friend. He's a big jerk. He comes into the party, starts insulting people. Its really just how he is. He thinks its funny. Its kinda like a game he plays, he'll give you 3 hours of insults, then give you a compliment at the end.
Anyway, he takes an pizza with 1 slice eaten and throws it in the garbage and says... I didn't think anybody was eating it anymore.
5. Because it was a pool party... and the house had the AC on, the girls didn't want to go into the cold house to go pee, so what they did is wrapped towels around themselves, went to the side of the pool and peed. 2 girls... peed there probably 6x each. Classy.
6. The party ended at 1 am. It started at 3:30 pm. Then at 3 am someone shows up. That's what I call the cleanup crew. Shows up when all the women are drunk. He was very intent on coming in to party... when everyone was asleep. I ended up waking up. I had no idea who he was, he had no idea who I was.
So I had to wake up my cousin. She didn't know him either! Apparently he heard about the party at a bar with someone else that was previously at the party and left. Awesome.
7. One girl shows up minus her bf and his kid. He didn't come home the previous night. That could mean anything. Its not the first time. He claims he got trashed and crashed at wherever he was, while she was home baby sitting his son. They live together.
She ended up taking him back... because he lives in her house. Its either kick him out or take him back.
8. Another girl at the party has been having problems for a full week. Her bf of 3 years has been found to be cheating on her for a full year. He has 2 facebook accounts. So someone found her and said you must be Dan's other gf. This girl then presented photographic evidence of it. X-rated evidence in a house my friend has never seen. He and his friends claim the photos are photoshoped. My friend and I both work in the industry and they're not photoshopped. He says its someone at his work messing with him. Funny thing is, he's really racist, and the pics were with a black girl.
Anyway, she decided to take a weekend off to be with him, because he presented phone records proving he's never called her at all, therefore its someone lying. I say phone records can be forged, esp when they went a week without talking.
Jerry Springer here we come!~