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  1. After a discussion on IRC, I have come to the conclusion that it would be a fucking great idea to pick the lock on one of the movie poster cases outside the mall, put up a movie-poster sized version of hello dot jpg, lock the case back up, and run away. Better remember to wear a ski-mask and gloves and cover up the license plate on my car... and paint it... and um... fuck, park it elsewhere.

    Thing is, see, I don't happen to have a movie-poster sized high quality glossy printed version of that particular image. If anybody can hook me up (no I do not have the equipment to print it myself) please contact me via private message.

    The genius of it is that no theater personell will be present until the time it opens, and since the mall opens first... possibly an hour earlier... people will be subjected to that for a whole hour! The entire back parking lot!

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Ultraviolet


      Small town, no Kinkos. :'(

    3. Hyena


      Ultraviolet said:

      a grand scheme

      I would never subject children to something as hideous as that. But you're thinking. I like that. I would personally go for a little less anus. Maybe this, instead.

      I happen to work at a very small theatre. If you lived nearby we could definitely work something out. I could have it all planned out perfectly in just a few moments.

      A few general pointers, though:

      Better remember to wear a ski-mask and gloves and cover up the license plate on my car... and paint it... and um... fuck, park it elsewhere.

      No. First, no gloves. They're not going to check fingerprints for a minor public mischief case. At the theatre I'm at, people have actually managed to steal posters and as far as I know, we didn't even report it to the police. We just replaced the locks and put up new ones.
      If you wear a ski mask you're just going to look suspicious. Double if you cover your license plate. You'll stick out.
      Parking elsewhere is a good idea, though. Find a parking lot that's not directly adjacent to the theatre. It has to be easy to reach by foot. Just roll up your dubious poster and get out of the car. Walk casually, like it's a poster you bought at a music store. If it's rolled up, no one will know the difference.

      Picking the locks will take a long time. It's possible you can get around that. If it was my theatre, I could just "accidentally" leave one of the cases unlocked. Or better yet, render the locks ineffective in one way or another. I could, for instance, put masking tape around the edge so it doesn't click in place. Then you can just slide it out. Make sure you take the tape off after, or they may realize one of the employees helped.
      Just walk up, open the case, put the poster up. Some poster cases require tape, so it may be that you have to remove the current poster (and tear it to do so) which is bad. Some newer poster cases have a glass backing that you can place the poster in, which keeps it flat. In this case, you can just place your poster in front of it, lock it up, and you're done.
      Get back to your car and drive away.

      In the unlikely event that someone sees you putting the poster up, there's not going to be any sketch artist or anything. The witness will have seen you from a distance and not have a very accurate description. And they'll say you were walking, which is good.
      At most, cops might stop people on foot nearby and ask them if they walked past the theatre recently. If you're driving, you won't have that problem. Just make sure you drive a safe distance.
      Whatever you do, don't stop at a donut shop with your friends and laugh it up.
      Any discussion of the matter should be done somewhere semi-private, like at your house or one of your friends. Basically don't say anything open about it until a few days or maybe even a week later.
      By then, either it will have been on the news (and everyone will be talking about it) or it will have been gone and forgotten (and no one will care if you talk about it).

    4. Hyena


      Oh, and do NOT go to Kinkos. They can trace it back to you then.
      (Yes, I did say earlier that they're not exactly going to investigate it. But if it gets to the point where it shows up on the news, one of the Kinkos people will probably say "Hey, that's the poster I made!" and eventually someone with a badge will find out, and Kinkos will have your home phone number)