Single Status Update
...every five minutes I get a stomach cramp, which builds up to some form of gasseous release. I burp at least 3 times, then my stomach is calm for something like a minute, and then it builds back up to a cramp again. FUCK. I'm not nauseated or vomitting or anything, it's just this. It's gonna be a little hard FUCKING WORKING IN PUBLIC today.
Suggestions? I figure seppuku is obviously the only way to be sure.