printz

Paragraphless blog post ahead.

Years ago I would be excited of playing Doom, toying with modding and even programming. I was a student back then and daily compulsory activity wasn't very demanding. Nowadays I have a fulltime programming job and one of the last things I want when I get home is sit more at the computer doing the same game stuff because they either seem too work-like or chores (modding, programming) or make me feel like I'm working for free (I think this is a negative thought) or not spending my little spare time very well (idly playing games instead of doing something more awesome, but STILL not work-like). I know what I'm supposed to do, which is going out (literally, or even to meet new people), which I do when given the opportunity, but I also want something that's mine, made by me, so I can show it off to people I meet, and that requires the dedication that I lost since I got a job which already makes me spend this kind of effort daily… but not for me, just for my money. Nowadays my mind is tainted that it takes a whole team to produce something substantial, and it's too bad I'm not really the networking type — I like doing stuff by myself, full-stack, without asking for help unless it becomes 'natural' to do so (e.g. my project has so many fans it becomes easy to ask for some help). I really need to get off this bad mindset: weren't Doom Builder and SLADE made by single persons? Well, SLADE did get help from Gez, but I like to think that it came naturally, without lots of pitching. They look mighty professional too. Do their authors feel miserable for spending so much time making them for free? I like to think they do NOT.

Just throwing this here, because it's the blogs forum.