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Insomniak

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About Insomniak

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    Doesn't Sleep!

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  1. Life, as it turns out, is not always fair

    old news

    My future has become cloudy

    I had a department year-end interveiw last thursday, and needless to say, it did not go as well as planned. The feedback was generally negative, and my instructors have made it clear that they do not want me to return to the program next year.

    My stagecraft teacher says what, while I'm great to have around and talk about music and such with him, I'm have not met expectations of the program, and that while I get objectives acomplished, I tend to be distracted. The shop foreman apparently doesn't want me there at all, and had been putting up a pleasent facade towards me this whole time. My drafting teacher insists I am constantly late in both assignments and punctuality. My lighting teacher didn't say nothing during the whole thing, my audio teacher thinks I should be in a music program, or take a year off to work. My stage management teacher knows I am a threat to the program and a threat to upcoming productions.

    My first words after the interveiw were "I need a cigarette". I then proceded to the washroom to wash my face, and seek out comfort. Somehow.

    I have been reduced, rendered, torn apart. I've spent the past 5 days on the brink of conciousness, intoxicated on what little I can afford. Hard liquor has dissappeared and used bongwater has returned in it's place.

    I want to caress someone, but my hands are on fire.
    I want to scream but I am silent.
    I want to get emo on your asses.

    My watch has stopped.

    I move out on Sunday. I've been living in residence for 8 months, but it seems like so much longer. Pizzas, parties, fights, drama, cowboys, fags, schitzos, posers, so much booze.

    So now my options are limited. While a week ago, I saw myself attending a second year of Theatre Studies, and possibly a sound design practicum with few cares, I am left with harsh reality on my doorstep.

    1. work full time next year.
    2. attend college next year, different program
    3. attend college, no program, classes that intrest me, but have no career advantages (i.e. film analysis), and work part time.

    Eventually, I'm going to have to tell my parents, but not quite yet. I'm very disturbed by what's happened, and I have noone to blame but myself.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Zoost

      Zoost

      Insomniak said:

      My first words after the interveiw were "I need a cigarette". I then proceded to the washroom to wash my face, and seek out comfort. Somehow.

      WTF? Why not just smoke a cigarette and then wash your face. It seems a bit akwart that you say: "I need a cigarette", and then not smoke one, or was it just to add to the melodramatic atmosphere. Hard work for little pay will help you understand life better.

    3. Piezo

      Piezo

      Zoost said:

      Hard work for little pay will help you understand life better.

      no shit. 9_9

    4. Bucket

      Bucket

      Thirded. All hail et cetera.

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