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About Phobus

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  1. I hate work, facing the future and all the time I spend on my own. I'd almost go as far as to say I hate life, but I think it's more the modern western lifestyle.

    So I woke up depressed today, like I do about once or twice a week. I doubt I'll actually kill myself any time soon, but I worked out who I'd notify, what I'd say (I'm torn between proper spilling my heart and just leaving some kind of quip as my final words), how I'd get my finances in order and let my boss know not to expect me in ever again.

    The hard part is the actual suicide, IMO. I know a few obvious methods, but that's a lot of cleaning for some poor sod if you jump in front of a train (plus there'll be a lot of delayed people like me cursing me for a selfish bastard) or throw yourself from your 20th floor flat window. If I wasn't British I'd probably make use of the frequent firearms in various parts of the world, but I am, so I'll either have to slit something or go for a needle to a vein with only air in. I'd like to think I'll have a crap first so my death is less messy, seeing as I envisage this being a well-prepared affair rather than a spur-of-the-moment, emotionally driven kind of deal.

    I'm airing this to you lot as I imagine it's more upsetting for friends, family or colleagues. The way I see the remaining 50-60 years of my natural lifespan, my suicide is only a matter of time. Frankly I'm not even that upset - more resigned in the acceptance that I simply don't want to live.

    1. Show previous comments  28 more
    2. printz


      TheCupboard said:

      d) drop acid

      Pardon my assumption, but isn't that similar to getting drunk? Isn't that known to be too easy and in the end unhelpful?

    3. Cupboard


      It is not similar to getting drunk because alcohol manifests itself as poison. It is very easy to take, easier than a pill, even. Does it help? Maybe not. You might feel better or think differently though. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychedelic_therapy

      I would strongly recommend psychoanalytic therapy before using chemicals like that.

    4. Clonehunter


      Phobus said:

      This was sufficiently different enough an idea that I've found out about some auditions for an amateur production of Much Ado About Nothing tomorrow evening about 5 minutes away from where I'm staying. Don't really know about the play, but I'll give it a go.

      Edit: scratch that, turns out there's a lot more to auditioning than merely turning up. I might go along tomorrow to see how it's done, but I don't believe I have the time to learn a monologue or whatever else they need in one evening.

      Yah, generally you audition with some monolouge. It can be anything, really. For example, I was in a drama class and we had to do mock auditions, and I decided to go with this:

      It was a contest, and I won. I don't know what else they'd have you do, so who knows. It could be fun though.