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Impie

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Everything posted by Impie

  1. I'll let this speak for itself.
  2. Impie

    Share Your Jokes

    Why was the guitar teacher sent to prison? He was caught fingering a minor.
  3. Heretic: reduce enemy health and increase speed and deadliness. Hexen: more enemy and weapon variety, greater dependence on artifacts.
  4. Impie

    Share Your Jokes

    Yo mama so old, her maiden name is Asaurus.
  5. Everyone has plenty of gripes about the Doom movie starring Karl Urban and the Rock. I'd like to highlight the good points, and encourage others to do the same if something noteworthy hasn't been mentioned yet. - The main characters are estranged brother and sister. The obvious choice for this sort of thing would be ex-lovers who rekindle their previous fling, so I really like that they went off the beaten path here. - They could've easily just done CG beasties, but they went old school (Guys in rubber suits!) for most of the creature effects. Having grown up with monster movies filled with nothing BUT practical effects, this really tugged my heart string. - The first-person segment is pretty divisive, but it's still the highlight of the movie. If they'd done the entire thing this way, it could've really been a cinematic oddity and maybe could've had a cult following. - If you forget that it's supposed to be Doom, you can still enjoy it for what it is: a dumb monster movie. - The soundtrack is badass. I got it for my birthday the year the film came out.
  6. Impie

    Good Things About the Doom Movie

    On the same note, how would you feel if I responded to your threads with browbeating lectures about your old posts in unrelated threads? I'd look a bit like a condescending prick, yeah? That thread asked for opinions on Plutonia, and I answered honestly. If fans of the mod got mad that I knocked it, that's their problem -- I clearly criticized the design, not the people who play it. If you want to talk about how tone is more important than content, make a thread about it or PM me directly. That's my biggest issue with it as a Doom fan. Outside of the license it's supposed to be based on, it's still worth a watch now and then. And I totally agree that the Rock probably shoulda been Doomguy, althought it was a lot of fun watching him turn.
  7. People whose first experience with any of my mods is on the UV setting would disagree. I don't get it, either. Not all mappers will balance their maps for difficulty settings the same way, so my first playthrough is always on HMP, and if it's well-designed, it's still fun and still a good challenge. I play on UV next when I want a tougher challenge. Why someone would rather have their first playthrough require constant savescumming is beyond me. I have yet to see someone on youtube enjoy themselves while playing a mod on UV that kills them every two seconds, yet they insist on doing it like it's some kind of macho Doomer code. I believe that's what the OP is referring to. That's not what "save scumming" is. Save scumming is saving every two steps, or at every door, or after every kill, or otherwise being obsessive compulsive about saving after any tiny amount of progress. It's perfectly reasonable to save before going through a teleporter or grabbing a key, or after finally killing that damn cyberdemon.
  8. Impie

    Do you actually finish Megawads?

    1. If the quality is consistent throughout and it doesn't degenerate into another Hell Revealed exercise in elitist tedium. 2. I think so, since it's easier for players to finish, AND easier for the modders/mappers to finish. I released Midgard Outlaw as an 11-map episode instead of a 3-episode megawad precisely for this reason. 3. I suppose so, but I'm still more likely to play a smaller project to the end. I'd rather be left wanting more than have the wad outstay its welcome. 4. Let them contemplate their lack of creativity on the Tree of Woe.
  9. I've concluded this project with Version 3.0: due to life stuff and lack of public interest, I've taken all the unreleased maps and turned Midgard Outlaw into a finished 11-map wad, since I hate having unfinished projects laying about. It's easier to finish individual episode releases, so that's what I'll do from now on. The new maps (revised bonus maps from the previous version, and never-before-seen maps) follow where the demo left off, bringing the total map count to 11 (12 if you find the secret map). I'm pretty sure it's working properly. Give it a whirl and let me know if anything breaks!
  10. Less sci-fi, more action movie. New bad guys. Dynamic music effects. A brutal 11-map episode taking you from safe houses to ships, underwater and on top of trains, and even through Juno's own worst nightmares come to life. DOWNLOAD IT! Author's Note: I had thought about a sequel to Project Einherjar for some time, but more importantly, a game experience that better encompassed the essence of the book series it was based on. Whenever I edit my fiction, I listen to a music playlist that suits the mood of the piece, to fuel my drive to finish the project. I thought it would be cool to use that music in a game project to help bring Winter Agent Juno alive the way I envisioned it. So I built Midgard Outlaw around the dynamic music mechanic, using music directly from my WAJ inspirational playlist, and toned down the sci-fi elements considerably. I’m really happy with the end result and hope you guys and dolls enjoy it, too.
  11. Impie

    Strange Aeons 5.7

    DOWNLOAD If the download is missing, it's probably in the process of updating. Check back in a minute or two. Way back in 1994, I played Doom for the first time and it blew my little mind. Immediately I started sketching ideas for Doom clones, and kept at it for about ten years as a hobby (Duke Nukem 3D helped influence this as well, I think). The first one I ever came up with involved a hapless dude who went on inter-dimensional adventures in horror reminiscent of The Dreams of Unknown Kadath and similar Lovecraftian works. Years later I finally find a way to bring that weird little vision to life in the form of an Ultimate Doom mod called Strange Aeons.
  12. Impie

    Strange Aeons 5.7

    By that point you should have discovered that the revenants are friendly and fight monsters for you.
  13. Impie

    heXen Upstart Mapping Project (XUMP)

    Wait, was it? I had no idea...
  14. Impie

    heXen Upstart Mapping Project (XUMP)

    lol I did get carried away in the Heretic one. They shoulda just removed my entry, since I ended up putting it in its own mod anyway.
  15. Impie

    heXen Upstart Mapping Project (XUMP)

    I would love to join this, if able. My drivers are still kaput and it still affects my ability to make Doom-related stuff, but I might give it a try anyway if I think of something worthwhile.
  16. Impie

    Share Your Jokes

    A father was so caught up in preparing his daughter's 8th birthday party, he forgot to get her a present. He asked her, "Sweetheart, what's the one thing you want for your birthday more than anything?" The little girl thought for a minute. She said, "Daddy, what I want for my birthday more than anything is a Barbie and a GI Joe." The father thought for a minute, puzzled. "Barbie and a GI Joe? But Barbie comes with Ken!" The little girl gawked. "No, Daddy, she FAKES it with Ken! She REALLY comes with GI Joe!"
  17. I guess I forgot to post this on Doomworld. DOWNLOAD GHOUL SCHOOL 3D (FOR HERETIC/GZDOOM) Playtest time for this 3D remake of an obscure NES game of the same name. It's a first-person action-puzzle-adventure-thing spanning four inter-connected maps. It tries to better capture the idea Scott Marshall was originally going for about ghouls living on campus and Spike having to deal with them. I think. I hope. The school is overrun with undead the week before prom. Most of these undead are jerks, but a few seem helpful enough to give you hints rather than zombify you. Get to the bottom of the cause of the undead uprising and save your prom date (who may or may not even like you). Shoot bad monsters. Talk to humans and good monsters. Solve puzzles and navigate spooky mazes. Try not to kill or piss off NPCs or they won't help you. Try not to let everyone at school become zombified or you'll be up to your ears in ghouls. Make dumb announcements on the school intercom. Doowutchalike. Jumping and crouching are required. For a walkthrough, check the wiki articles.
  18. Impie

    Ghoul School 3D (For Heretic)

    I forgot to update the bat for widescreen when I did so for Splatterhouse 3D. The bat looks loads better now. Also I never mentioned I tweaked the dialogue for the NPCs in E2's Deadlands area so that puzzle is a little more obvious. EDIT: Also monsters don't aggro on higher difficulty, since the wiki is apparently wrong or outdated regarding how to change monster aggressvieness. They just do more damage.
  19. Right, but they also do actual reviews where they say the same shit they say in their "spoof" reviews. They claim that they're just satire, but then they claim they're criticism, back and forth. That muddies any attempt at satire, if they're even really trying to be satirical at all. They're more likely using "lol its satire guyz" as a get out of jail card so they can do whatever the hell they want, and most of their commenters and subscribers don't seem to "get the joke" either cos they buy it as criticism and condemn the movies in question. Enough people have called them out for all this that it's probably got some truth to it. Enough that maybe people should give their detractors a break whenever they pipe up, and start questioning their fans a little more instead.
  20. Sorry, but there is no Robotnik outside of Long John Baldry. So the usual string of half-assed out-of-context criticism with no research or additional viewings?
  21. Impie

    Share a random fact about yourself

    I kinda cried for both of those reasons.
  22. Impie

    Share a random fact about yourself

    I suppose so, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
  23. Impie

    Share a random fact about yourself

    She's engaged. Bursting into tears kinda was my plan of action.
  24. Impie

    Share a random fact about yourself

    At the end of the day, I'm a sentimental idiot. Was closing up shop with a coworker I'm really crushy about when we discovered the doorknob was jammed and no one would be able to get in the next morning to take care of the dogs. We wake up the boss who's on a business trip elsewhere in the country, ask her for any possible code that might open the side-door, and none of them work. We climb walls like ninja, into the big play yards, to reach the other entrances, and shred our knees and elbows in the process. The codes don't work on those doors either. She realizes she forgot her cigarettes in the truck and we can't climb back over the wall to get them. We have to climb over another wall and land on asphalt to get out of the facility; I toss an outdoor mattress (used as a makeshift dog bed) over the wall for her to land on 'cos she's nervous about the height, whereas I used to climb the rocks on the Oregon shore. We trade embarrassing personal stories waiting for the locksmith to come drill the doorknob. When we finally get back inside, it's almost midnight, and she's coming back at 4am the following day, so she'll get fuck-all for sleep, but she insists she's the only one who needs to stay, and I can go home. I say fuck that, if you're stuck here having a shitty night, then so am I. Besides which, it's a dark, secluded part of town. It's right up the road from the police station, but it's still not a fun place to be alone at night. Next day I come in at 3pm, she's taking a nap in a kennel with a puppy. Embarassing photos ensue. She goes home with massive bedhead. I continue my shift. Near the end I go into the bathroom and find a thank-you card in my locker saying I'm one in a million and thanking me for staying late with her. So less than 4 hours of sleep, and just coming off of a long shift, and going immediately into another long shift, she still finds the time to go get a card for me, find one that has exactly the message she wants for me, writes in it, and puts it in my locker. I immediately burst into tears.
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