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About Memfis

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  1. I've just realized something. I think I haven't called anyone by their name in, like, several years. For some reason it's just incredibly difficult for me to do, it's like the word simply refuses to come out of my mouth. Same goes for words like "mom", "dad", etc: I haven't used them in forever. Can't really explain why. I wonder if this is common or whatever. When I want to speak to a friend or a relative, I always either wait for them to look at me first or I ensure that there's noone else close enough to us so that it's obvious who I'm addressing. Pretty interesting, huh?

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Tristan


      Yeah I'm like this. Doesn't go for everyone, but it's pretty rare for me to address someone by name.

      I'm having a bit of fun with the reverse lately though. My name is often misheard as something else, and someone has been convinced that my name is something that it really isn't. Haven't corrected him yet, just gonna see how long this drags out xD

    3. Hellbent


      I have noticed this tendency in myself in the last few years and it bothers me. It really only applies to people I have just met or don't see regularly. Part of it is a slight feeling of awkwardness calling them their name and part of it is I'm afraid I will say their name wrong, but I think it's more the former. The more I don't call people by their names the more difficult it becomes to do it. So I have been making a concerted effort to do it more.

      It bothers me because people will greet me by my name, which I like, it shows consideration, friendliness and respect; it's almost as if it validates my existence, but I will say "hey" back instead of "hi Bob" or whatever. Sometimes it's because I can't remember their name in the moment but often it's this strange feeling that it will be awkward if I say their name. I kinda thought I was the only one with this problem. Interesting to see I'm not. I definitely chalk it up to some kind of social shortcoming. Seems mildly autistic to me. Somewhere in the realm of social anxiety and social awkwardness.

      I always feel bad when someone who I haven't seen in a bit immediately says my name when they greet me and I just say "hey, how are you". It's like, why can't I return the respect and courtesy of saying their name back? I like it when they say my name, yet I struggle to say theirs. I find it mildly rude if someone just says "hey" to me if I expect they know my name. It shows a lack of investment in the person and consideration. What kind of world would it be if we just went around saying "hey" to each other? Sure, you don't have to say their name ten times in a single conversation; that's just weird. But I think it is really important to say someone's name upon greeting them if it's been more than 24 hours since you've seen them (the longer it's been, the more important it is to say their name), and again when saying goodbye to them.

      Naming things in general is important. Everything in the world has a name. Naming things makes them real and meaningful to us. That's why it's so important for Atreyu to give the childlike princess a new name in The Neverending Story. Naming things gives them validity and relatability. "hey"ing things keep things in the realm of unimportance; not worth being distinguished from anyone or anything else; not worth one's attention or consideration. So if something or someone has a name, call them by their name, lest the Nothing take over you and your reality!

    4. printz


      I've never had this kind of anxiety. If I need to get someone's attention, I just call them directly. What does make me feel a bit uneasy is when others are calling me by my name. It usually means they want my attention immediately.