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Memfis

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  1. I've heard that you shouldn't be using phrases like "kind of" or "a bit" too often because they make you sound indecisive and maybe also afraid of voicing your real thoughts (so you're softening every comment with these words that make everything more vague and maybe also make you less responsible for what you're saying?). But I don't know, I think I rarely have, like, rock solid opinions on things. Usually everything is kind of mixed, I see various ways of thinking about the same things and nothing seems 100% good or 100% bad. So I feel like these "softening" words actually help me express my feelings more clear, they show the gradients or whatever. I dunno. What's your opinion on these words?

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    2. fraggle

      fraggle

      Memfis said:

      So I feel like these "softening" words actually help me express my feelings more clear, they show the gradients or whatever. I dunno.

      Depends if that's really the case or you're just using those words as fillers. I personally find it hurts delivery when a speaker uses "um" every few seconds - consider these the same. If you're doing any kind of public speaking (like giving a presentation), practicing beforehand can really help to eliminate these fillers and make your speech flow more nicely.

    3. Cupboard

      Cupboard

      Consider your audience:

      a) If the audience is sympathetic to you or they *know* some of your positions already, it's good to use gradients. They already have an ear for how you might talk or articulate yourself

      b) If the audience doesn't know you at all, using gradients can be confusing, because the audience *wants* to know where you stand in relation to other people's opinions as well as their own

    4. Marn

      Marn

      Saying "I'm 75% sure of X" tends to come across better than "I kind of think X" while still showing that you're open to the possibility that you're wrong.

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