Memfis

I remember how back in elementary school these two girls made like a poll, which asked the participants to choose the coolest thing. The options were Harry Potter, Spiderman and maybe some third book or cartoon I don't remember now. I loooved Harry Potter back then (still do), however I chose Spiderman instead, even though I was barely familiar with him. I think that was because I saw that most people so far voted for HP and I didn't want to be like the majority of the class.

Some 15 years later, and I still sometimes experience similar feelings. Like if you watch an obscure movie and then you meet someone that is also familiar with it, normally you're supposed to be happy that you finally found someone you can discuss it with. However, on some occasions I will get annoyed instead, I guess because I found out that I'm less unique than I thought (which doesn't really make much sense because obviously thousands and thousands of people know that movie too, and one more person doesn't make any difference).

I guess this is like an insecurity, wanting to be unique due to not having much success in social life or something like that. But it's kinda interesting how even though I can identify these feelings and more or less understand (or at least I think I understand) where they are coming from, I still can't fully get rid of them sometimes. Maybe I should just embrace them and accept who I am, but I feel like they prevent me from connecting to people sometimes, so it's like there is an actual damage from them and it's not just an annoyance that doesn't matter in the long run.

By the way, Back to Saturn X is sooooo overrated.