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About 40oz

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  1. I'm enjoying my new job a lot. The pay is pretty decent, I'm learning a lot an quickly beginning to get a hang of how the place works, and the people there are really cool. Everyone's pretty friendly and are willing to help me when i've got questions on how to do things, and I'm beginning to develop a pretty tight bond with the manager. Also, as a new guy, you should normally expect to get pretty shitty hours, since they can't expect the best work out of you if your placed in a new environment, but I've gotten 40 hours my first week! AND I'm getting 40 hours this week too! Also at the rate of 9.25 an hour, which was a good bit more than I was making at Subway, and the conditions of the work place are much better.

    I'm still meeting many of the coworkers there and have been pretty cool with everyone so far. Last night I was working from 3pm-11pm. Around 10pm the night guys were coming in to begin their shift. One of these guys, who usually works in the Deli area, which is my area as well, is Shawn. Shawn is a BIG byot black guy. I was just finishing my break and i introduced myself. He seemed pretty cool, he was asking me about myself and where I used to work. I told him all about my experiences at subway and why I chose to quit and told him im starting to like this place a lot more. He was pretty friendly and was telling me about how this is a pretty good place to work and that I'm pretty lucky to have gotten the job and he could tell I would fit in just right.

    Then, pretty much out of nowhere, while there were hardly any customers around, he looks at me with a considerably serious expression and asks me the question. "So.. How do YOU feel about full frontal male nudity?" Needless to say, I was shocked. I've only known this guy for about 20 minutes. He hasn't really told me much about himself. I just kinda went ahead and told him about me. Now, this is a pretty huge black guy im dealing with. He's like a foot and a half taller than me and like triple my weight. I have no idea where this question came from. If my mind were a human entity, it would be screaming and flailing its arms around frantically. I don't know whether this guy is hinting to me that he is gay or if he's a fag basher. In either scenario, a negative or positive response to that question means I am fucked. Literally or metaphorically.

    I basically just shot him a cop-out answer. "Umm.. I have no idea how to answer that question." then Shawn turns around and yells "Hey Chris," Chris is the current shift leader at the time. He's a white guy, a little older than me, about my same height. Me and him are pretty cool, we had been cracking jokes at each other on several occasions that night. Chris comes over "Yeah? what?" "I thought you said this guy was cool?" "Huh what do you mean?" "I just asked him how he feels about full frontal male nudity." Chris says "OOOhhh shit Jon I didnt tell you did I?"

    I'm like "Um. Nnnnno chris, you did not." so Chris begins to explain "Alright man, we've got this game, right? Where at any given moment, one of us is gonna unzip our pants and try to get you to look at our junk. Now, you also get points for innovation. Like for example I can be like Hey man, check out this cool belt buckle! and if you look, I get to kick you in the ass. That's the punishment for seeing our junk. The goal is to try come up with the sickest most clever ways to show it. Like Vinny over there" Vinny is this really old-timer who had been working for Wawa for years. He's like 80 years old and the nicest most friendly guy you'll ever meet. "Vinny's got this thing called 'The BRAIN' since his sack is all saggy, he can wrap his sack all around his junk and it looks exactly like a human brain man! How's that sound!?"

    Not sure whether or not they are dead serious, I retort in my maybe-im-being-sarcastic-maybe-im-not kind of tone. "Man that's fucking awesome."

    Suddenly Shawn and Chris start laughing hysterically. "were just fucking with you man. But seriously you ever see a belt buckle like this" and I glance down for a fraction of a second before I realize what he had just said and I was like "AHHH you jackass!" He didn't actually have his junk out but he would have gotten me if he did. We all had a good laugh about it though and I was pulling the same joke at different times that day.

    It's good to know I'm not getting my asshole enlarged though.