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My life has been pretty whack recently.
Went through a big breakup almost 2 months ago and had to find a new place to live in a pinch, so I begrudgingly left my old job which I enjoyed..
I’m just about fully moved into my current place after months of slumming it with friends, but about a week ago I got extremely sick, a horrible infection in my gums and both ear canals that has them swollen to the point of severe pain. Due to the swelling I am almost completely deaf at the moment as well - hopefully I’ll be able to hear again once this is over. Being hospitalised sucks ass.
I’m so thankful for modern medicine and painkillers. While I’m drugged I can function enough to read Doomworld and browse around on my phone and torture/amuse myself with Twitter and YouTube and stuff (thank fuck for closed captions). I can’t wait til
this is over though, when the drugs wear off the pain is so intense that it has me in tears. It’s been this way for about a week now.
I just can’t wait for this to be over. The pain is worse than any other pain I’ve felt in my life, I can only describe it as feeling like my head is literally about to explode from being overinflated.
My parents have been so helpful and I’m really lucky to have them nearby for this - if it had struck just a bit earlier while I was in Melbourne, I’d be dealing with this all on my own!
Sorry for the whiny, sappy post. I’m just not used to this extreme level of pain. When the drugs wear off it’s absolute hell. I just can’t wait for this to be over.. if it was possible I’d give anything to make it stop. At the peak of pain I was bawling uncontrollably and seriously considered ending it all just for some reprieve. I’ve felt down emotionally before, but I’ve never experienced physical suffering to this level and have a new appreciation for those who experience chronic pain.
When I get through this I will never view my life the same way. I’ll have an appreciation for just feeling normal that I’ve never had before. I think the first thing I’ll do once I’m able is walk on the beach and listen to the ocean. All I can hear right now is white noise and it’s seriously wearing on my sanity.
Just wanted to post this for those who have been wondering why I haven’t been in discord or in any game servers lately. I desperately wish I could be. Wish me luck, people - I really need it now more than ever before. Thanks for reading this.
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D: I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel to go through that, but I wish you the best of luck. I hope you get well soon!
I'm feeling so much better than I was before - should be fully recovered by this weekend. Thanks again all!
I know it's late but i just wanted to say that i'm glad you got over w/e this was. I've been dealing with some type of chronic pain for about 8 months now and it has completely changed the way that i currently live my life and i wouldn't wish it upon anybody so i know what you went through in a way. I might possibly even have to drive to a different state to go a clinic to figure out what's causing all the pain (the Mayo Clinic). It depends if they accept me or not. But anyways, you seem like a really cool dude (from reading your posts and whatnot) and i just wanted to say that i'm glad you got over what you had and maybe when i'm finally feeling better we can play some deathmatch or something :) (i'm a total noob though).