Doomkid

My life has been pretty whack recently.

Went through a big breakup almost 2 months ago and had to find a new place to live in a pinch, so I begrudgingly left my old job which I enjoyed..

I’m just about fully moved into my current place after months of slumming it with friends, but about a week ago I got extremely sick, a horrible infection in my gums and both ear canals that has them swollen to the point of severe pain. Due to the swelling I am almost completely deaf at the moment as well - hopefully I’ll be able to hear again once this is over. Being hospitalised sucks ass.

I’m so thankful for modern medicine and painkillers. While I’m drugged I can function enough to read Doomworld and browse around on my phone and torture/amuse myself with Twitter and YouTube and stuff (thank fuck for closed captions). I can’t wait til

this is over though, when the drugs wear off the pain is so intense that it has me in tears. It’s been this way for about a week now.

I just can’t wait for this to be over. The pain is worse than any other pain I’ve felt in my life, I can only describe it as feeling like my head is literally about to explode from being overinflated.

My parents have been so helpful and I’m really lucky to have them nearby for this - if it had struck just a bit earlier while I was in Melbourne, I’d be dealing with this all on my own!

Sorry for the whiny, sappy post. I’m just not used to this extreme level of pain. When the drugs wear off it’s absolute hell. I just can’t wait for this to be over.. if it was possible I’d give anything to make it stop. At the peak of pain I was bawling uncontrollably and seriously considered ending it all just for some reprieve. I’ve felt down emotionally before, but I’ve never experienced physical suffering to this level and have a new appreciation for those who experience chronic pain.

When I get through this I will never view my life the same way. I’ll have an appreciation for just feeling normal that I’ve never had before. I think the first thing I’ll do once I’m able is walk on the beach and listen to the ocean. All I can hear right now is white noise and it’s seriously wearing on my sanity.

Just wanted to post this for those who have been wondering why I haven’t been in discord or in any game servers lately. I desperately wish I could be. Wish me luck, people - I really need it now more than ever before. Thanks for reading this.