Doomkid

Damn, birthday again already? 31 laps around the Earth completed?.. Where's that lone candle and stale cupcake I've been reusing for the last few years..

My little kitten died just over 12 hours ago. I miss that little purr so much already. It’s crazy how fast 13 years has gone by.. RIP my small furry friend.

happy birthday to me

*blows out a single candle on a lone cupcake*

So how is your handle pronounced? I heard someone the other day (can't remember who but it made me curious) pronounce it as B. Z. Zrak, which just sounds like the name of some esteemed author from an alien planet. Surely it's "Bzz-rak", as in "a buzzing sound" followed by "rak"?

I'm gonna use blogs like a blog for once. Get your pitchforks ready.

I don't like it when WADs start getting too far away from the source material. Most of my favorite megawads use the stock Doom(2) textures a lot, even when they've also added loads of customs. There also seems to be an obsession with largeness in mapping these days, which makes sense as there's a bigger "woah" factor when you play something like that, but at the same time I always find myself getting lost and disinterested and the monster placement is either too overbearing or easy as hell due to some weird little exploit the author didn't notice.

Wads using almost entirely custom textures isn't a new thing, but it's becoming more and more common. Combine that with the very non-iwad like structure of the maps (TOO MANY LINEDEFS AND SECTORS) and it starts to feel like an entirely different game and loses a great deal of it's appeal to me. Christ what a shallow fuck

Some people out there don't get why dwango5 and dwango6 are two of my all-time favorite deathmatch wads. The truth is, bar the overtly terrible maps that were simply a product of 90s experimentation, they almost feel like "the iwad of deathmatch". A lot of similar mapping decisions to the iwads, partly due to half of them being rearranged iwad maps, but even the stuff from scratch seemed to use very similar design philosophies, just in a deathmatch setting rather than single player. A lot of these decisions really irritate the modern player which is understandable, but part of me finds it strange how less and less people can even accept the existence of "slower paced maps with traps and secrets" in deathmatch wads because they think it's unfair or too slow or whatever. To that I just say, the more practiced person always has the advantage, that's just even further pronounced when part of practicing is "finding out stuff about the map". Like, duh, you're gonna be better at the map if you've played the map more.. That just gives the other player incentive to practice up on that map and utilize the secrets better than you do! It gives a map character, adds another dynamic to gameplay and often increases replayability, in my opinion.

It's somewhat bizarre to hear people refer to your maps as "too 90's" when really you're just aiming to make something that feels like an extension of the source game, because that's what you enjoy and see as "the official golden standard", if you will. See, I love Doom with all it comes with, the music, the textures, the maps, the oddities, "warts and all" as they say! When you do a strange/funny/quirky little mapping decision, be it a trap in a deathmatch map, an obscure secret, a stark change of theme or whatever else, people seem to react like "UGH WTF IS THIS" more than ever these days just because it's not following whatever the modern mapping trend may be, but the iwads are full of stuff like this and something about it really appeals to me. Every time I see people complain about this, I can't help but think "did you even enjoy playing Doom? Like, non modded Doom?" I don't care about using higher resolutions in modern source ports or whatever, but it's just strange that it's now a thing to "like Doom mods, but not really like the source maps/game itself."

Now of course I've made / contributed to quite a handful of ZDoom/kinda-sorta modern-ish stuff, especially in years past, but even that stuff didn't deviate super far from the source material which I guess is why I liked working on it.

Another tiny thing I'm going to pointlessly bitch about is the palette getting changed so often. I thought it was badass in the early 00's when UDM3 came out, but something about changing the colors has that same effect on me that 'too many custom textures' does. It's starts feeling like a different game even through such a simple, shallow change. Psychology at work in some weird way there I guess.

Now before you tell me how I'm a giant dumbass and how my opinions are objectively wrong, hear me out - I absolutely love that this content is being made for Doom. I don't give a damn that it's not for me, there's plenty of stuff that already hits that mark out there and people with different tastes deserve to have stuff too.

I'm really happy to see stuff that utilizes anything from Boom to GZDoom to it's fullest, incorporates 3D floors, uses a broad range of new colors and textures - It's all amazing and extremely impressive, and not just from a technical standpoint. Some of this stuff doubles as art, there's no questioning that. I'm so glad people love Doom so much that they want expand on it as much as possible and in a huge variety of ways. Even people simply making Boom or very basic ZDoom stuff but mapping in a more modern fashion with all the custom resources and whatnot tend to fall into the "I'll probably play 1/3rd of this then get bored" category for me personally, but damn, I'm so glad it's being made because it keeps this game fresh and alive to the rest of the world.

Also worth noting, I actually do have some fun with a lot of the wads/mods I'm sitting here whining about, I just tire of them much faster due to all the strange, random reasons I've laid out above and rarely get far into them, as far as SP stuff goes anyway.

With all this bullshit said, I hope none of you hate me for these opinions or think I don't appreciate the hours and hours of love and hard work that goes into creating these beastly wads (stuff like Ancient Aliens, Sunlust, Sunder, gameplay mods like Complex Doom or even Brutal Doom or HDoom). Not my cup of tea, but I'm so glad you guys are doing so much to keep this game and modding community alive, the place would simply not be the same without all of you and your hard work. I know my tastes and preferences are pretty random/old, but I'm just a sucker for stuff that feels "pure Doomy" in that it doesn't deviate extremely far from the stylization of the iwads. For whatever reason, releasing wads with similar design principles to the iwads/source game in mind seems to really irritate most people (more notably in the MP community, but it happens even with SP shit too) but it's just what I like so it's what I make - I can't help it!

Sorry for the ramble, I hope I haven't bored or irritated too many of you. For whatever reason I felt compelled to make this big shpeel. Also note that I realize there's plenty of stuff still being made that fits the description of what I like and for that I'm of course very grateful. (not for deathmatch though ;-; )

tl;dr: I really like the iwads/older mapping tendencies so naturally that's what goes into my maps and I find it kind of strange just how much expectations/norms have changed in terms of map design, but if you're into the newer style that's totally cool by me and I appreciate anyone working on anything that helps keep this community going.

EDIT: For some reason, the Mechanix wads are pretty much always an exception to my tastes. Aeon DM is in my top 5 DM wads, the layouts are just so clever and solid that you can't help but enjoy deathmatching there.

So, this is a response to a recently helled thread, but it was just so interesting (and relatively tame as far as mudslinging in EE goes) that I feel the urge to make one last point on the matter. If you guys want me to obliterate this thread, just tell me and I will.

dew said:

Heh, I'm not asking you to feed hungry necks yourself, I'm saying both America and Australia are extremely resource-rich and aren't even nearly tapping their potential yet.

I know you weren't saying that I personally should be feeding the hungry, it's just that we're currently projected to continually eat away at these abundant resources until they're, well, not so abundant. That's not to mention that available resources is only one aspect: we also have the issue of extreme pollution as a result of our current level of manufacturing. We really do need to be taking steps to curb this stuff, not to speed it up, and an ever growing population (with less jobs to go around no less thanks to how cheap it is to automate stuff) is going to guarantee these issues only get worse.

Population isn't the only factor in this kind of thing of course - For example, more sustainable means of manufacturing should also be encouraged/funded, but we can't pretend population isn't an issue worthy of addressing. Also worth nothing, the best way to curb population growth is through the dirty E word - education. Statistically, a smarter population breeds less rampantly.

I used to be a mod of the Multiplayer section only, but now it’s global, so that’s cool 😎 

(this won’t be noticeable at all really, just popping it in this status update for transparency)

That's right, a whole thread about the deadly stache.

The other day I was among a group of coworkers who are all into rock music and not a single one of them knew anything about Zappa, not even a single song he had written. Not one. This kind of baffled me, but at the same time, he's pretty obscure these days and was always considered pretty far out even when he was alive. I figured I'd dump a bunch of great Zappa tunes in one easy spot.

Zappa wrote some of my all-time favorite pieces. There's a big chunk of his material that simply isn't for me as it's too unconventional/'out there', but it's really quite astonishing that one dude could write in such a myriad of styles and genres. Given his enthusiasm for finding new sounds and pushing the boundaries, I suppose it shouldn't be all that surprising.

Below is a condensed list of Zappa songs I really like. The first few are my absolute favorites, and everything that follows is just a mix of stuff I can put on at any time and love listening to.

Keep in mind, humor was always one of Zappa's focal points when writing music, not just in terms of lyrics, but in terms of instrumental sounds as well. The sounds can range anywhere from rock to jazz to classical to just goofy as hell, but I love them all. At the end of the day, humor really is just one small aspect of it all. Listen to a few for yourself and see what you think:

Uncle Remus
Apostrophe'
Transylvania Boogie
Watermelon in Easter Hay
I Am The Slime
50/50
Road Ladies
G-Spot Tornado
We Are Not Alone
Dumb All Over
Heavenly Bank Account
Dirty Love
Muffin Man
Your Mouth
Bobby Brown Goes Down
Joe's Garage
Keep It Greasey
Why Does it Hurt When I Pee?
A Token of My Extreme
Harder Than Your Husband
The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing
Stick Together
Camarillo Brillo
Beauty Knows No Pain
We're Turning Again
Night School
Promiscuous
Jesus Thinks You're a Jerk
Dancin' Fool
Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
Tinsel Town Rebellion
Be In My Video
I'm So Happy I Could Cry
I'm Not Satisfied
Why Don'tcha Do Me Right?
Would You Go All The Way?
Eat That Question
Bolero (Cover)
Whippin' Post (Cover)


I could listen to a playlist of those songs almost endlessly. Of course, if you don't want my hand-picked favorites and just want to dive into some Zappa albums, I would recommend Joe's Garage, Overnite Sensation, Chunga's Revenge, Apostrophe', Freak Out!, Broadway the Hard Way, Does Humor Belong in Music?, and Sheik Yerbouti. When listened to in one sitting, Zappa's albums tend to tell a really funny, interesting or even sad story, so if that sounds appealing, maybe one of these will be up your alley.

Aside from his music, Zappa was a guy who I really respect. He valued the constitution and actively fought to defend freedom of speech, the kind of guy who would defend your right to say what you want even if he wholeheartedly disagreed with you. His albums and songs were regularly restricted from radio play and many record stores refused to stock his albums, back when they were new releases. He received constant backlash for the content of his albums, and it's extra hilarious given how tame it all is by modern standards.

Anyway, that's the end of my rant, I hope some of you get some entertainment out of it.

Strange lack of NIH posts recently!

Hey peoples, I’m gonna have to duck out of my community projects and stuff for the next couple weeks, just temporarily of course. My house has gone from normal to “completely fucked” - 2 of the 4 power circuits aren’t working, walls have been mutilated searching for an unfindable fault only to find termites, of course a tree in the back yard figured this would be a good time to fall onto the neighbors property (no excessive damage.. just a crushed fence and removal expenses..) but of course this is all during the hottest time of year, 100% greatest time for all my ceiling fans to no longer work, but ohhhh no that’s STILL not enough, 11 year old cat gets sick to the tune of a $200 vet bill (a few of her teeth are fucked and will rot out of her head but I simply don’t have the money for removal). You think that’s enough right? It’s not, there’s even more but I’m just sick of typing about it. All of my money is gone, my house is fucked, my time is all accounted for, I’m just sad and drained. Part of me wants to just neglect everything, admit defeat and spend the next few weeks buried in Doom projects to forget this POS existence for the time being. But my survival instinct is overriding it. Sorry for all my complaining.. I just want you all to know I’m not heartlessly ghosting the whole community for the next couple weeks or whatever. I’ll still be popping my head in as a much needed distraction from everything I’m sure..!

I’ve got a roof over my head, a comfortable bed, a family I love, good friends, and plenty of fun games.. guitars I love to play, that kind of stuff. I’m an extremely lucky individual who should be nothing but grateful (and I surely am grateful). I shouldn’t feel low and shitty. I should feel fine. So why don’t I?
 

The knowledge that others out there have it harder than I do is no consolation at all, it just makes me wish that life would cut them a break. My misery doesn’t want company, it’s just a feeling I want us all to be free from. I guess you need the bad for the good to mean anything. Or something like that anyway.

I’ve got PMs and discord messages backed up out the ass, I’m sorry for not responding to all of them sooner. I absolutely intend to. Just want to feel a little better before I do. Sorry for dragging my feet, seriously. I don’t want anyone to feel negative reading this, everything is gonna be alright for me and I want people to enjoy their time here, not get depressed by it. I just feel too low to do things with the care I’d prefer to, right now anyway. I’m just waiting til I can do the things I need to do/that people want me to do with the right energy and state of mind.

I hope anyone who reads this has a good day. Life is worth living and worth enjoying, there’s just times where that fact becomes harder to see. The important thing is to not give up, and remember that taking a little time to cool off is not at all the same as throwing in the towel.
 

..Does this post still make sense by now? Did it ever make sense? Does it matter if it makes sense? Well anyway, I really hope you’re doing ok and if you’re not, just try to stay strong. I know it’s hard to do sometimes. Some days, or sometimes some weeks are just shittier than others. I’m hoping it’s just been one of those weeks. I’m eager for new frontiers and a new state of mind..

My life has been pretty whack recently.

Went through a big breakup almost 2 months ago and had to find a new place to live in a pinch, so I begrudgingly left my old job which I enjoyed..

I’m just about fully moved into my current place after months of slumming it with friends, but about a week ago I got extremely sick, a horrible infection in my gums and both ear canals that has them swollen to the point of severe pain. Due to the swelling I am almost completely deaf at the moment as well - hopefully I’ll be able to hear again once this is over. Being hospitalised sucks ass.

I’m so thankful for modern medicine and painkillers. While I’m drugged I can function enough to read Doomworld and browse around on my phone and torture/amuse myself with Twitter and YouTube and stuff (thank fuck for closed captions). I can’t wait til

this is over though, when the drugs wear off the pain is so intense that it has me in tears. It’s been this way for about a week now.

I just can’t wait for this to be over. The pain is worse than any other pain I’ve felt in my life, I can only describe it as feeling like my head is literally about to explode from being overinflated.

My parents have been so helpful and I’m really lucky to have them nearby for this - if it had struck just a bit earlier while I was in Melbourne, I’d be dealing with this all on my own!

Sorry for the whiny, sappy post. I’m just not used to this extreme level of pain. When the drugs wear off it’s absolute hell. I just can’t wait for this to be over.. if it was possible I’d give anything to make it stop. At the peak of pain I was bawling uncontrollably and seriously considered ending it all just for some reprieve. I’ve felt down emotionally before, but I’ve never experienced physical suffering to this level and have a new appreciation for those who experience chronic pain.

When I get through this I will never view my life the same way. I’ll have an appreciation for just feeling normal that I’ve never had before. I think the first thing I’ll do once I’m able is walk on the beach and listen to the ocean. All I can hear right now is white noise and it’s seriously wearing on my sanity.

Just wanted to post this for those who have been wondering why I haven’t been in discord or in any game servers lately. I desperately wish I could be. Wish me luck, people - I really need it now more than ever before. Thanks for reading this.

Go To The Hell !!

I want to see a thread where only @seed, @Pegg , @Alper002 and @Ichor post. It would be a thing of beauty.

I've been using Doom Builder 1 since 2006. I'm finally doing some mapping again after almost 2 months off in GZ Doom Builder and am finding it so hard to get used to. I can clearly see all the advantages, but it's going to take some getting used to!

you couldn't care less 'cos you only care about who to blame for how your angry, resentful little lives turned out.

eat your tribalist bullshit and die, 'cos you're the biggest fucking problem in this country right now.

hatred has reduced you to a screaming infant.

the police show up, and you don't leave, you get your ass kicked

The cops pelting these morons with tear gas are doing their jobs.

nevermind the statistics showing black are more likely to be killed by other blacks than by cops

this has nothing to do with Floyd at all

Watch Tim Pool's videos

you're part of the fucking problem

police shootings in recent years were undeservedly reported as race killings

I actually, truly hope you get shot. Don't care if we've been friends on the forums in the past. Don't care if it's a bean bag, rubber bullet, or live ammo. You make me physically ill, and the world is better off without your toxic presence.

The kindest, sweetest, most well informed things I've read in quite a while ❤️ love u 2 bby xxx

Yay, just passed 2,000 subs on Youtube! Got another Rollercoaster Tycoon video and Doom related video on the way in the coming weeks

I hope you're still with us, Mr. Ghost. Your absence is felt!

I love feeling good again after going through a few weeks of living hell  - my wife and I separated recently and things have been really tough (duh) but having a Doom day with friends is a great mood lifter. Finally starting to feel whole again.

Oh shit, 666 followers!

\m/ (x_x) \m/

(if DW ever gets fixed maybe someone will actually see this status lol)

Just in case you're wondering what happened to me, the hard drive in my computer messed up - died, in fact, all of a sudden. So until I get another hard drive I'll be offline.
Sorries to the Jamal Jones crew for the delay this might cause, but I thought I should let you know. You may care or not at your discretion!

When will scifista return??

A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to have a little vacation with the beautiful @Snaxalotl :) We had a damn good time, and now she's well on her way to creating dark, evil sounding music using actual instruments! ... (That 5 string bass kicks ass btw)

Australia internet is good for playing Doom, video proof:

lol jk it's literally a pile of shit

Well, I am done with relationships for quite a while. Last week I got a place with the woman I’ve been seeing for 8 months, then one week in she has dumped me, very unexpectedly. In 4 weeks time I’ll be moving from Melbourne to Batemans Bay, about 900km north. Looking for a fresh start and to be closer to my family again. The only reason I even came to Melbourne back in 2013 was to be with my ex-wife, so I think there’s really nothing left here for me at this point.

tl;dr: Bleh!!