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Fuzzball

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Status Replies posted by Fuzzball

  1. Good now I can post things here and..oh nevermind. :I

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      It's fine though- I'm not allowed to talk about it as I have no opinion clearly.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  2. Why do you finish some of your sentences with tildes~~~~~~?

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      Pretty much that first one- if I don't want to exclaim but a full stop is a little too...hmm...abrupt! :D

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  3. I hate this ugly cage so much...I'm too scared to pick up the key let alone open the lock...

    Ugh....fuck

  4. Today I was chased by some bird screaming things and being lewd to me.

    I've never been so scared in my life- a local camera caught the footage live.

    1Dkig.gif

  5. ...I do wonder if I'm welcome anymore or to anybody lately.

  6. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  7. I don't know really what to think as of late, regarding a certain subject...starting to worry once more...

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      The world wants to run after me with a beating stick, with string and razors on the end of it...

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  8. Looking for hot singles in your area? Good luck to you! Good luck to everybody aaaaaaa I have no idea what this post means

  9. Oh look, ¬°es another one of these threads again! Hooray!

    In case you haven't noticed, I haven't been around much as of late. There's a big reason for that.

    And that is, well, gender dysphoria fucking sucks. (Told you it's going to be one of those threads!) The anxiety and stress had gone to the point that my hair was coming out. Being laid off of my once secure job because of a merger was not helping. I didn't want to talk to people, I didn't want to go outside, I started losing weight so rapidly that it was causing problems. I was falling apart. I just wanted to sleep. That's it. Why this suddenly became debilitating, I'll never know, but it crashed on me hard.

    And I used to pick on Kate like a moron when I knew I was in the same boat. I was terrible!

    And I live in a section of the country that still uses AOL and thumps Bibles, so if I spoke up about this I knew I was going to be electroshocked just like my old grade school friend who committed suicide, likely from that treatment. It's disgusting. And I can't change my parents, it's too late for that.

    I've been dealing with this since 2002 at the earliest, and sent to various doctors, on crazy psych meds, which turned me into a mess. That caught up with me in 2005 when I tried to end it all. Not proud about that.

    And my doctor? She knows exactly what's wrong, and knew before I could admit to her or myself, and sooner or later I'm going to have to leave my parents for good. Likely out of the state entirely. I don't know how. I've been on therapy about a year now and losing 80 pounds in half a year is probably not good either. And now my exchange insurance (I lost my employers medical insurance immediately upon termination) is in jeopardy because some fucks decided America need to be "great again" and that might fuck me up for good, because my medications total add up to over $1K. America still sucks at healthcare.

    Fuck.

    So if you're wondering where the blue blazes I was, there ya go.

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      Wow this topic got shat over pretty quickly...

      All the best luck Csonicgo- it really does suck :( Just remember you're not alone!

    2. (See 46 other replies to this status update)

  10. Things have been hectic the last few months as we all know, politics, life and just general things for everybody- myself included...Even if at the moment it's still the early stages...small steps you know?

    Only recently have been able to be a little open about these kinds of things given the subject but thanks to others with support I've been able to at least be more comfortable...even if it's a bit at a time. This has all been kept away for years and years...so please forgive my nerves and anxious ramblings.

    Basically I'm asking if it would be okay to refer to me as female from now?

    For some it might be a surprise, and others maybe not so- and a few of you already know and have been awesome in helping me with said support I mentioned earlier- of course I've had it from others from a couple other places and other close friends online I've know and trusted for years...but this community is (mostly :P) awesome and I know you are very diverse and welcoming peoples!

    I'm not here to poke with a stick each time or get offended if somebody forgets or gets it wrong at first- but this is more just to get this out there in the open. I'll try and answer anything if you're curious but again it's early days and there are going to be many barriers I still need to beat and overcome.

    It's not fully in plan just yet...again so much I need to think about...so much to say and do...it's very difficult for me and I don't just want to, but I kind of NEED to get these kinds of things off my chest if I'm going to be serious about this.

    Here is a picture of a giraffe because those are cool. Giraffes are cool you dig?


    Thanks everybody and keep being amazing! <3
    ..it's past 6am and I need to sleep...really

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      Thread seemed to have been bumped somewhere, thank you again everybody for the support! ;w; <3
      Aa..though lately things here at home have not been great and Im starting to become anxious and scared..those in the know should understand but yeah..family stuff amongst others dont help..

    2. (See 35 other replies to this status update)

  11. Spent whole evening polishing it. Maybe fun to look at.

  12. This might appeal to some who have read some of my posts on why I enjoy IoS maps and how I hope for more monster spawner maps - even if they aren't necessarily ones with a wall.

    TL;DR: I played god mode when I was little, and I reached the IoS which killed me by telefragging and I got scared. Eventually, I became interested in this telefragging mechanic which is almost never used in game except in IoS fights.

    When I was very little, maybe 5, 6, or 7, I played DOOM in the mid 90s. I was afraid of my character dying (as well as the Demon's bite sound) back then. So I figured out, and played with God Mode on. I beat DOOM at my uncle's house in Florida.

    Next came DOOM 2. Yet again I used god mode and made it through the levels and then IT happened. I hit the dreaded Map 30. I did not know what to expect or what to do. The monster made it's sound which to me sounds like gorrrrrrr rehhhh oooo si, jim'bre selve-tay d'je ooze (and yes, I know what the actual sound is).

    The skulls started appearing out of the monsters head, packed with the unholy essence of a demonspawn, eventually turning into a full-fledged demon upon reaching it's destination. As the essence turned into a full-fledged demon, I kept shooting them down, IDFA'ing if ammo ran out. At the time, I thought the skulls would stop and the creature would have a shootable weak point show up - or the wall was shootable itself.

    But then IT happened. Despite having god mode on, I suddenly died. The screen was red. I was horrified. I screamed in terror. I did not know how I died. My character was lying on the ground; his guts being sprawled throughout the deepest depths of hell. I suddenly learned about this monster's ability to kill my God mode character; one of it's skulls landed right on top of where I stood. I was telefragged. It was horrifying.

    As I got older, I started becoming interested in the telefragging mechanics which has the power to kill a god mode character - the only other exception is damaging floors encountered in E1M8 but those finish the level.In the original DOOM series, the only place this mechanic is encountered is the last level of DOOM 2. As a result of my experiences when I was little, I enjoy playing the IoS maps which always bring up those memories.

    I also wonder if it's possible if there could be a way this mechanic could be used without the icon of sin. The interesting aspect is the not knowing when you're up and *BOOM*, death by telefrag. As a programmer, I know it can happen via a simple script. But I'm more interested in if a map could be designed in such a way that it relies on telefragging to be a good map - maybe in the way of suspense.

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      My sister used to torment me when I was a young one with Predator II on the Megadrive, if you leave the hostages too long they get brutally murdered and let out these blood curdling screams...and my sis would leave them to be taken out on purpose just to make me run upstairs and hide... lol

    2. (See 15 other replies to this status update)

  13. Things have been hectic the last few months as we all know, politics, life and just general things for everybody- myself included...Even if at the moment it's still the early stages...small steps you know?

    Only recently have been able to be a little open about these kinds of things given the subject but thanks to others with support I've been able to at least be more comfortable...even if it's a bit at a time. This has all been kept away for years and years...so please forgive my nerves and anxious ramblings.

    Basically I'm asking if it would be okay to refer to me as female from now?

    For some it might be a surprise, and others maybe not so- and a few of you already know and have been awesome in helping me with said support I mentioned earlier- of course I've had it from others from a couple other places and other close friends online I've know and trusted for years...but this community is (mostly :P) awesome and I know you are very diverse and welcoming peoples!

    I'm not here to poke with a stick each time or get offended if somebody forgets or gets it wrong at first- but this is more just to get this out there in the open. I'll try and answer anything if you're curious but again it's early days and there are going to be many barriers I still need to beat and overcome.

    It's not fully in plan just yet...again so much I need to think about...so much to say and do...it's very difficult for me and I don't just want to, but I kind of NEED to get these kinds of things off my chest if I'm going to be serious about this.

    Here is a picture of a giraffe because those are cool. Giraffes are cool you dig?


    Thanks everybody and keep being amazing! <3
    ..it's past 6am and I need to sleep...really

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      esselfortium said:

      *hugs*

      It makes me happy that you felt safe enough here to be able to post this. Good luck with everything, Fuzzball!

      Huuuuuuuugggs
      You're one of those special ones who helped push me to do this kind of stuff so I have sooo much thanks to give! :D

    2. (See 35 other replies to this status update)

  14. Things have been hectic the last few months as we all know, politics, life and just general things for everybody- myself included...Even if at the moment it's still the early stages...small steps you know?

    Only recently have been able to be a little open about these kinds of things given the subject but thanks to others with support I've been able to at least be more comfortable...even if it's a bit at a time. This has all been kept away for years and years...so please forgive my nerves and anxious ramblings.

    Basically I'm asking if it would be okay to refer to me as female from now?

    For some it might be a surprise, and others maybe not so- and a few of you already know and have been awesome in helping me with said support I mentioned earlier- of course I've had it from others from a couple other places and other close friends online I've know and trusted for years...but this community is (mostly :P) awesome and I know you are very diverse and welcoming peoples!

    I'm not here to poke with a stick each time or get offended if somebody forgets or gets it wrong at first- but this is more just to get this out there in the open. I'll try and answer anything if you're curious but again it's early days and there are going to be many barriers I still need to beat and overcome.

    It's not fully in plan just yet...again so much I need to think about...so much to say and do...it's very difficult for me and I don't just want to, but I kind of NEED to get these kinds of things off my chest if I'm going to be serious about this.

    Here is a picture of a giraffe because those are cool. Giraffes are cool you dig?


    Thanks everybody and keep being amazing! <3
    ..it's past 6am and I need to sleep...really

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      bzzrak said:

      Are you already female or becoming female?

      The latter if things work out and fall into place~

    2. (See 35 other replies to this status update)

  15. Things have been hectic the last few months as we all know, politics, life and just general things for everybody- myself included...Even if at the moment it's still the early stages...small steps you know?

    Only recently have been able to be a little open about these kinds of things given the subject but thanks to others with support I've been able to at least be more comfortable...even if it's a bit at a time. This has all been kept away for years and years...so please forgive my nerves and anxious ramblings.

    Basically I'm asking if it would be okay to refer to me as female from now?

    For some it might be a surprise, and others maybe not so- and a few of you already know and have been awesome in helping me with said support I mentioned earlier- of course I've had it from others from a couple other places and other close friends online I've know and trusted for years...but this community is (mostly :P) awesome and I know you are very diverse and welcoming peoples!

    I'm not here to poke with a stick each time or get offended if somebody forgets or gets it wrong at first- but this is more just to get this out there in the open. I'll try and answer anything if you're curious but again it's early days and there are going to be many barriers I still need to beat and overcome.

    It's not fully in plan just yet...again so much I need to think about...so much to say and do...it's very difficult for me and I don't just want to, but I kind of NEED to get these kinds of things off my chest if I'm going to be serious about this.

    Here is a picture of a giraffe because those are cool. Giraffes are cool you dig?


    Thanks everybody and keep being amazing! <3
    ..it's past 6am and I need to sleep...really

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      Aaaa don't do that! ;_; Actually I can be a little anal about people just calling me "Fox" ...I don't know why...it's been like that for a loooong time..it would be like calling Shadow Hog just "Hog" or Doomkid "Kid"..
      Fuzzball, Fuzz, Fuzzy or the fullname I guess is fine...and noooo space! :D

    2. (See 35 other replies to this status update)

  16. Things have been hectic the last few months as we all know, politics, life and just general things for everybody- myself included...Even if at the moment it's still the early stages...small steps you know?

    Only recently have been able to be a little open about these kinds of things given the subject but thanks to others with support I've been able to at least be more comfortable...even if it's a bit at a time. This has all been kept away for years and years...so please forgive my nerves and anxious ramblings.

    Basically I'm asking if it would be okay to refer to me as female from now?

    For some it might be a surprise, and others maybe not so- and a few of you already know and have been awesome in helping me with said support I mentioned earlier- of course I've had it from others from a couple other places and other close friends online I've know and trusted for years...but this community is (mostly :P) awesome and I know you are very diverse and welcoming peoples!

    I'm not here to poke with a stick each time or get offended if somebody forgets or gets it wrong at first- but this is more just to get this out there in the open. I'll try and answer anything if you're curious but again it's early days and there are going to be many barriers I still need to beat and overcome.

    It's not fully in plan just yet...again so much I need to think about...so much to say and do...it's very difficult for me and I don't just want to, but I kind of NEED to get these kinds of things off my chest if I'm going to be serious about this.

    Here is a picture of a giraffe because those are cool. Giraffes are cool you dig?


    Thanks everybody and keep being amazing! <3
    ..it's past 6am and I need to sleep...really

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      Jimmy said:

      You're a valuable member of this community with many talents, and you deserve all the support you need. Congrats on getting it out there, Fuzz! ♥

      I dunnnooooo... ;P Aaa...thank you though Jimmy you've been a big help!

    2. (See 35 other replies to this status update)

  17. I drink too much. Probably, on average, about 8-16 fluid ounces daily. This isn't just something that comes out of a dripper, either. We're talking about shots from my espresso machine, moka pot or high-test coffee piled high in my pour over set up. You have to love the laxative qualities and the stimulation from the caffeine is great, even if you're a bit resistant to it like me.

    How much coffee do you drink and when did you last have some?

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      joe-ilya said:

      I CHEW THE BEANS!

      My dad is a big fan of the beans, chocolate ones to be exact!

      As for coffee itself...never was a fan of hot drinks like it and tea, no real idea why...just never caught on I guess! The smell of many kinds though is very pleasing, and things like coffee flavoured chocolate is nom~

    2. (See 46 other replies to this status update)

  18. This is a true fact I am stating right now.

    So apparently some people wear shoes in their house...and even their room? D:
    What kind of thing is that? I guess it's a cultural thing that ranges from country to country but here it's usually take your shoes off when you get in etc.
    It is a little cold though so maybe I will put some socks on...Hmmmmm

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      Job said:

      Bare feet are my natural radiator. Socks off as we speak.

      This- and actually I have a cushion under my desk I keep them under...so nice and warm~!

    2. (See 35 other replies to this status update)

  19. Seriously:
    http://i.imgur.com/X1LQLcJ.jpg - why does it point directly at 3 hours?
    http://i.imgur.com/cUxWb6p.jpg - I and I??
    http://i.imgur.com/7UKh7jz.png - XIII???
    http://i.imgur.com/idz0IH7.png - only detectives notice that something's not right

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      Well I'm sure they can but those damn black bars or pixels get in the way!
      ..Oh...CLOCKS! ... well then

    2. (See 24 other replies to this status update)

  20. I work at a certain company that works on inventory systems, and is also a defense contractor. Four weeks ago, my manager quits out of protest, as the new boss (who insists we call him "Redge") assigned to us from upon high is as about as high as corporate - naturally, a kite. He's dopey, he's a corporate puppet, and he likes to talk about Bob Dole a lot. Surely this man will just stay the hell out of the way. We had done just fine without a "boss" for eight months. What we didn't know is that the manager gave "Redge" the keys to the kingdom - our server git repository, and everything in it.

    I woke up this morning at 4 AM to an SMS saying that our code repository at work had been accessed by a "new member of the compliance team". Thing is, there was no new member on the "compliance team". That wasn't even a department name! So I rushed to the office in a huff, wide awake at this point, praying for no cops with speed guns on the way there. In my mind, someone has either broken into the office, or worse, hacked into the local code repository from one of the ports the IT guys keep forgetting to close. Surely a randomly generated password longer than a bible couldn't have been cracked, right?

    I am asleep at my desk from exhaustion when my co-worker, Leigh, comes in at 8 AM sharp. She had just wiped her MacBook Pro clean the night before, due to a botched OS X update. She too got a text message, but assumed it was me, as I had been working later than usual. She finds, to her horror, that two new people, with names 20 characters long, had been "invited" into the team, and we had been "renamed" to compliance. That's when we get an email from the "Redge" saying that he thought we could "use some help". That help came in the form of two dimwits from the Chennai, India branch, recently acquired by merger a year before. They admit to us through Slack that they had never used a version control system before. I felt a tinge of anger, but not quite the level of anger that the boss would soon experience.

    The two new members of our "team" decided that the color of the web-based inventory front-end wasn't "good enough", even though we had just finished a redesign, with the colors matching official design guidelines. We find out that not only did they change the colors, they decided to deploy those changes to the main, internet-facing servers, without going through QA. That's when I hear the fires of hell erupt from Leigh's cubicle.

    Leigh tells us that our new friends pushed code to master, bypassing QA, while also tinkering with her custom branches, with an editor that decided to convert all the source code files on her branch to Windows format, which screws all the line endings up. Immediately, this causes conflicts with our frameworks, and one of our parsers fails to work now. So in a fit of brilliance, they decided a force push would do the trick. Instantly realizing what they had done, they copied over the files from master, pasted them in the working folder, and force pushed with a fake name, erasing all history on said branch, in a terrible attempt to cover their tracks. Remember how she had wiped her MacBook a night before?

    If I hadn't had cloned the entire repository to my ThinkPad for Thanksgiving tinkering, Leigh would've lost four to eight months of work. We receive word that the interim manager, on vacation in Tampa, hopped on a plane after getting the same SMS we did, but he could have flown in with his own two arms given the level of pissed-off he was when he slammed open the office door. "Redge" walks in with coffee to see the door fly nearly off the hinges.

    It turns out that the website had been inoperable for eight hours. With worldwide clients, this is a bad, bad thing. After the manager finishes steamrolling the boss with expletives, he tells us that, because of US regulations on the work we are doing, having foreign workers without security clearance can bring up to $10K of fines per infraction. Salespeople barge in behind him, with questions about why the interface has changed without any notification. The QA team follows the salespeople,demanding answers.

    Redge turns the color of wax paper, and says, "well I guess I should remove the other 20 guys I just added to the repository, then."

    Redge is no longer working with us.

  21. Hi folks! This is honestly a pretty crummy subject to have to talk about in a big public forum post, but it's long overdue that I get this off my chest, so I'll make this quick and get it over with:

    I'm a transgender woman and I'm in the process of undergoing HRT. This is a really exciting and important thing for me, and the past year and a half of my life has already been way better for it. It also isn't a decision that was made lightly -- on the contrary, it's been the scariest and most difficult thing I've ever had to do in my life.

    Those of you who already know have been tremendously supportive beyond my wildest expectations, and I feel extremely fortunate to have made such amazing friends here. The Doom community is a pretty awesome place. With your help and reassurance, this post was way less stressful to make, so thank you!

    To everyone else who's just hearing about this now, I'm not going to be a different person than you've known on the forums since forever. This is who I've always been, something I was internally grappling with even before I registered here on Doomworld a long as heck time ago. So my posting will still be as lousy as you've come to expect, etc, etc.

    Given the problems that have been had with some other threads in recent memory, I'm just going to remind everyone that this is a personal blog thread and not a gender politics debate. With that said, I realize that this is a subject that's unfamiliar to a lot of people, so questions are welcome, just please be respectful. Thanks!

    Sarah

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      God damn it I always forget the Blogs section exists! x.x

      Congrats Essel on making it public, it must have been difficult to finally get it out there but I hope everything can go smoother now one less thing is off your list.
      Not to mention you've been very supportive with so many subjects be it music, Doom, or even just personal matters. Such a valuable member of the community and you deserve only the best! Keep doing what you love and march forward through whatever challenges you face...shove those hating losers out of the way and show them what's what! :D

    2. (See 116 other replies to this status update)

  22. I am diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (Which is apparently sometimes known as Mild Autism nowadays I think.) It's a probable reason why I act strange sometimes. If anyone have any questions about the condition, feel free to ask. Feel free to share your experiences or tips about it. I did write a longer post but got logged out of my account before managing to post it somehow and I'm to lazy to write it all down again. Sorry for that.

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      Pavera said:

      And the problem is that the majority of people who suffer autism/asperger's aren't even like that. I've known kids who have asperger's who were totally cool, and they understood their condition and the social implications that it could have -- and they overcame that shit. Heck I'm sure that half my online friends are autistic or have asperger's in some form, and they're all cool too. It's a shame that the stigma exists, especially since it's only perpetuated by idiots who use their diagnosis as a crutch.

      Was going to avoid posting in this thread but holy shit this.

    2. (See 29 other replies to this status update)

  23. A couple of years ago a buddy of mine graduated from some kind of firefighter academy. He invited me to the ceremony, and as my oldest friend (eleven years and going strong), of course I went. There came a point during the ceremony where everyone was asked to bow their heads for a moment of silence to honor all of the fallen firefighters.

    WELL

    Thirty some odd seconds into the moment of silence...Doomguy's "second scream" on full volume broke the silence. Also, because it was a phone call, he just KEPT ON SCREAMING. "Bwahhhhhh! Bwahhhh! Bwahhhhhh!"

    Everybody in the room looked right at me. I tried to get the phone out of the front pocket of my button down shirt, but I couldn't work the button quick enough. So I just started punching the hell out of my chest until I managed to hit the silent button.

    I looked up at my buddy who was trying really hard to keep from laughing his ass off.

    The end.

  24. Make me some maps damnit.
    You have until 7pm GMT so I have some shit to play when I'm home from work. Can be anything limit removing and make w/e SP with textures etc.
    Maybe themed...anyone got ideas?

    I'm 24 before anyone asks :P
    Also I like purple. Purple is good.

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      TheMionicDonut said:

      You picked the wrong day to ask for speedmaps pally.

      Play some BTSX e2. That has purple goodness.

      This makes me sad...

    2. (See 16 other replies to this status update)

  25. Every replie should include the following : The answer to the reply above it and why, 2 options to choose from.
    Don't understand how it works? Here are a few examples.
    Example :
    User 1 : Turkey, Tastier for me.
    Desert or arctic?
    User 2 : Arctic, 'cause there are ways to get warm unlike in the desert.
    Zebra or Horse?
    And it goes on and on.

    Here's a start:
    Cyber or Spider Master Mind?

    1. Fuzzball

      Fuzzball

      Short and sweet for me- long maps often...not "bore" me but I can easily feel lost! D:

      Mmm...let's see...
      Midi music or non-midi?

    2. (See 148 other replies to this status update)

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