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About bytor

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    & the snow dog

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  1. I got up at 7:00 AM this morning because I was laying there awake and couldn't stop thinking about my gawdamn broken vacuum cleaner. Haven't had any sleep and all I can think about is fixing a vacuum cleaner!? I dunno.

    Wife rolled in at 3 AM, drunk, with two of her friends. LOUDLY. To think that I was just about to go to bed. The petite girl heads for the bathroom and I couldn't help but visualize vomit being exploded all over my house. She comes back out and dumps a can of Dew all over the table. Atleast it wasn't vomit, I suppose. Please, just make it to the toilet. That's all I ask. No vomiting on my floors, furniture, you name it. No.

    I go get on the computer and just hope that they go away soon. That's when the blonde, standing in the middle of my living room, pulls her pants down to show her new tatoo. I can almost see what's going on through the breakfast bar opening but I've seen enough tats on female private areas and just don't care to look! Then she comes into the kitchen and sits down at the other computer and drunkenly moves my icons around while trying to log onto her FaceFuckingBook to show the wife pictures and whatnot. :/

    After about an hour they leave without any vomiting. I'll take the sticky table and jacked-around icons. Good. So the wife and I go to bed and all I can do is lay there thinking about my stupid broken vacuum cleaner? WTF is wrong with me!?

    Now I've been up for two hours, haven't touched the vacuum cleaner, but I see that Donald Sutherland has been awarded a much-deserved star!

    Hell...It's Sunday...I'm going back to bed.


    1. Show previous comments  14 more
    2. Maes


      bytor said:

      Yeah, whatever. You heard it from the expert.

      He's an expert at being random, not at judging the randomness others ;-)

      Being sober/rational enough to acknowledge the randomness of others would mean that he's not random enough. I won't place Hellbent on 2nd place until you too post your equivalent of toilet fishing ;-)

    3. bytor


      Oh no no he can keep 'the porcelain throne'! I'm cool right here wherever it is I am. *ahem*

      Hell, if the basement wasn't such a mess I'd make a quick trick-shot vid (pocket billiards).

      ...while tippin' a bottle of Jose Cuervo.

      ...rockin' to some AC/DC.

      ...with my "Made in the USA" cyber ass hangin' out.


    4. Maes


      That would def do it, thank you.