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About bytor

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    & the snow dog

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  1. I got up at 7:00 AM this morning because I was laying there awake and couldn't stop thinking about my gawdamn broken vacuum cleaner. Haven't had any sleep and all I can think about is fixing a vacuum cleaner!? I dunno.

    Wife rolled in at 3 AM, drunk, with two of her friends. LOUDLY. To think that I was just about to go to bed. The petite girl heads for the bathroom and I couldn't help but visualize vomit being exploded all over my house. She comes back out and dumps a can of Dew all over the table. Atleast it wasn't vomit, I suppose. Please, just make it to the toilet. That's all I ask. No vomiting on my floors, furniture, you name it. No.

    I go get on the computer and just hope that they go away soon. That's when the blonde, standing in the middle of my living room, pulls her pants down to show her new tatoo. I can almost see what's going on through the breakfast bar opening but I've seen enough tats on female private areas and just don't care to look! Then she comes into the kitchen and sits down at the other computer and drunkenly moves my icons around while trying to log onto her FaceFuckingBook to show the wife pictures and whatnot. :/

    After about an hour they leave without any vomiting. I'll take the sticky table and jacked-around icons. Good. So the wife and I go to bed and all I can do is lay there thinking about my stupid broken vacuum cleaner? WTF is wrong with me!?

    Now I've been up for two hours, haven't touched the vacuum cleaner, but I see that Donald Sutherland has been awarded a much-deserved star!

    Hell...It's Sunday...I'm going back to bed.


    1. Show previous comments  11 more
    2. Technician


      st.alfonzo said:

      Hey, Donald and I have the same beard!

      You share the same merkin?

    3. Maes


      Hellbent said:

      I thought this post was gold! Wish my posts were half as good.

      Nah, it didn't sound random and pointless enough to be believable as a spontaneous drunk/high/existential poist. It's obvious the guy is trying too hard to be like you. Maybe with time.

    4. bytor


      Yeah, whatever. You heard it from the expert.

      heh. Here it is again, Maes:

      Hellbent said:

      I thought this post was gold! Wish my posts were half as good.


    5. Show next comments  3 more