Doom will turn you into a murderer because Carmack is an atheist

Youth Rock Ministry Christian Gaming Zone

I just thought this review was unique in how the author seems like was cool with playing Doom until he found out John Carmack is atheist. The Tetris review is more lulz worthy, though.

Part of my response on another forum:
Seems like a rather petty reason to give a game a low score... I mean, at least one person behind any video game is going to be atheist.

What a cock. I wonder if he would burn books by non-Christian authors if he got the chance?



Probably.

I also love how he hasn't played most of the "unChristian" games he reviews because they are not allowed on campus.


And finally, remember kids, if you play "Bully":

It teaches young boys to become homosexuals.

I am christian, but i've never killed anyone, and i don't hear voices telling me to kill.
Well, i just cried, but if Carmack was not an atheist, then this game would get a higher score?

Also, the Columbine massacre was not caused by bad Doom influence, but by some kind of disorder(Normal person wouldn't kill anyone, and it's also easier to say that games make people bad, not other things, and less intelligent persons will believe it... *sigh*).

Catechuman is a first-person 3D game set in pre-Constantine Rome when Christians are being persecuted. It's like Doom, only it doesn't turn players into murderers. You play a Christian student (a "catechumen") who must descend into the depths of the catacombs in order to rescue your captured tutor from the evil forces of the Roman Empire, who are under the control of Satan himself. You are armed with the powerful Sword of the Spirit given to you by an Angel who helps you throughout your quest. Your sword shoots a spiritual laser that converts possessed Roman soldiers into Christians and vaporizes demons. Besides being exciting and cutting-edge, Catechumen is an excellent game to learn both history and the basics of Spiritual Warfare. †††††

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

@Coopersville - thanks, I needed that.

And people say religion breeds ignorance. I don't know where anyone could get such a strange idea, heh.

Question: how can you be "taught" to be a homosexual? That's like being "taught" to be short or tall.

Oh God. Tetris review. Wow.

Texas Libra said:

Question: how can you be "taught" to be a homosexual? That's like being "taught" to be short or tall.

Did you learn nuttin' boy. Homosexuality is a choice.

Link said:

In the Doom series, you play a U.S. Marine who fights the forces of Satan.[/b][/i].

I don't recall ever seeing or reading or hearing the word "Satan" in any of Doom's text or soundfx. I completely overlook the storyline when playing Doom. The whole time I'm playing I'm wondering which rooms I didn't go in yet. Thoughts of joining "Satan's Army" never crossed my mind. I'm not really sure where the reviewer is going with this, but apparently sending troops to the Middle East and watching suicide missions performed by the enemy makes U.S. Troops more likely to become terrorists than someone who abstains from war.

Hail Satan!

And this is the equality and civil rights we're so proud of. Someone announces that they're an atheist and they get slandered by some second-rate Christian game reviewer. By the way, Bible Adventures for NES sucks.

Hey Christian jackboot, we gave you Wolfenstein 3D to make Super 3D Noah's Ark, so stay away from Doom or I'll start bashing Bible Builder.

I wonder what rating he would give to Super 3D Noah's Ark...

...in any case, "Christian" themed games and "christian" reviewers alike suck major ass, in most cases. Especially trying to apply "moral" criteria to videogames is an oxymoron, as it would leave out practically all games relying on magic ("it's evil"), fantasy ("it's misleading, comes from satan") etc., so I guess that only sim games would be alright...no?

...his Atheistic ignorance of the Bible let him become a conduit for Satan to sensationalize the demonic enemies, actually making them seductive to youth!

So, Carmack made us go impse? :(

Jodwin said:

So, Carmack made us go impse? :(

And fisting cybie butts.

This site is satire, isn't it?

Doc Faust

Doctor Faust said:

This site is satire, isn't it?

Doc Faust

In their Spore review they said that word satire is made up from Satan and ire.

Just remember that the reviewer who wrote that dogshit most likely believes in splitting time in public schools to teach intelligent design, too.

TomoAlien said:
Also, the Columbine massacre was not caused by bad Doom influence, but by some kind of disorder(Normal person wouldn't kill anyone, and it's also easier to say that games make people bad, not other things, and less intelligent persons will believe it... *sigh*). [/B]

That and shitty stupid parents.

Coopersville said:

Christian Gaming Zone

This website is awesome! Indeed, I feel like a devil or more like a cacodemon :-P... It proves the theory that stupidity is endless like the universe, but it is funny, though.

Lich said:

[...]and shitty stupid parents.

In this case I disagree and just say: drugs, bullies and disorder (losing the reference with reality thinking all humans are evil).

Maes said:

And fisting cybie butts.

Technician said:


Did you learn nuttin' boy. Fisting cybie butts is a choice.

Fixed. :o



...or something

Coopersville said:

Youth Rock Ministry Christian Gaming Zone

Youth Rock? Don't he know that rock (and, in fact, all forms of music) is really nothing more than a Satanic ploy to corrupt the souls of the innocents?

Texas Libra said:

Question: how can you be "taught" to be a homosexual? That's like being "taught" to be short or tall.

Ah, but you forget that a true homosexual knows all about fashion, beauty and hygiene products.

Technician said:

Did you learn nuttin' boy. Homosexuality is a choice.

And not only is it a choice, but it is actually the superior choice, which is why any kid that learns about it risks becoming one... Heterosexuality is clearly a choice that can be chosen only out of ignorance and peer pressure; so intolerance and censorship are needed to prevent homosexuality from taking over.

(I leave to the reader the leisure of drawing the obvious conclusion about the actual sexual orientation of people who are firmly convinced of this. Further, I suggest thinking about whether a deep-seated self-hatred can lead to the need to condemn everyone else for immorality.)

Deeforce said:

In this case I disagree and just say: drugs, bullies and disorder (losing the reference with reality thinking all humans are evil).

I wouldn't discount the impact that a source of sound guidance can provide. It doesn't even really need to be just a parent. It just needs to be someone.

This is hilarious. Is this guy for real? Seriously, that awesome Tetris review is really stretching it.

Lich said:

I wouldn't discount the impact that a source of sound guidance can provide. It doesn't even really need to be just a parent. It just needs to be someone.

Well said.

I guess in a perfect world, it should be the parents that are that source of sound guidance. But so often this is not the case.

I have this theory that you can't teach a child how to be a functional human beingif you are still dysfunctional yourself. Growing up is unavoidable. Growing up well is another thing entirely.

MasterOFDeath said:

This is hilarious. Is this guy for real? Seriously, that awesome Tetris review is really stretching it.

Hah, I guess that even he couldn't beat my fantastic Postal Dude essay, no matter how hard he tried.

[Picardfacepalm.jpg]

It's the super-right wing Fundietards like these that give Christianity a bad name and do a disservice to the level-headed, sane Christians who are good people and who don't try to slam their beliefs down people's throat...or try to make everything into a moral brouhaha like this.

Remember kids: you can't spell 'Fundamental' without 'mental'!

Catechuman is a first-person 3D game set in pre-Constantine Rome when Christians are being persecuted. It's like Doom, only it doesn't turn players into murderers. You play a Christian student (a "catechumen") who must descend into the depths of the catacombs in order to rescue your captured tutor from the evil forces of the Roman Empire, who are under the control of Satan himself. You are armed with the powerful Sword of the Spirit given to you by an Angel who helps you throughout your quest. Your sword shoots a spiritual laser that converts possessed Roman soldiers into Christians and vaporizes demons. Besides being exciting and cutting-edge, Catechumen is an excellent game to learn both history and the basics of Spiritual Warfare. †††††

Wow. I think it's safe to say that video games based on religion are just as bad an idea as (most, if not all) video games based off of movies.

hey, didn't anyone see Constantine? They say that all smokers go to hell. I think since I'm already going to hell, it wouldn't hurt to play doom.

EDIT: This is the single best part of that website.

http://img352.imageshack.us/my.php?image=whatwouldjesusplayrr3.png

He is the one that kills a kitten each time we post here in EE.

I'm not sure what the funniest part of this web site is. The "thoughtz 4 gamerz" section is pretty hilarious, but I'm partial to the utter cheese factor that is introduced when people arbitrarily replace the letter "s" with "z". Additionally, the pastor/rockstar calls himself Skeet. According to Wikipedia, skeet is a...

Slang term for semen

I wonder how this fits in with his (assumed) abstinence-only sex education policy.

Apparently, the site is probably a silly joke, but who truly knows?

Doom made me a racist :P from shooting Imps for 12 years :(

There are at least two things I liked about those reviews: he admited that destroying demons may be a virtue of Doom, and he was against DRMs.

I'm almost sure the guy is maintaining that site just for fun. I don't think one can really live in that dense state of religiousity.