Well, looks like I'm gonna be tha first to contribute, here's my joke! It may not be much but it surely is funny and has been created only by me, here it goes:
-If every doom monster could talk, what would they say?
(OK, let's include our doomguy though we all know he's the hero)
Doomguy - Monsters to kill, keys to collect, doors to open, walls to break, places to run, switches to find, items to pick, imps to fuck and ciber-butts to spit... THAT'S MY LIFE!
Former Human - Why can't I have a shotgun like my superior Sargent has, instead of an assault rifle? And please, someone teach me how to fire continuously as Heavy Weapon Dudes do!
Former Sargent - I'm UGLY! Hey you idiot! Yes, you zombieman! Tell me how can I make that stylish green hair that you have but I don't want that intoxicating smell!
Former Commando - When I see a marine I hold my finger upon the trigger till the end of life and he becomes my target forever. Damned those pillars standing in the way!
Demon - I bite every green crap who stands in my way, I mean, I try to bite but they step aside and run from me, some say that I'm always applauding my targets with my teeth but I don't know what that means?
Spectre - I'm almost invisible, not even I can see myself. I bite, bite and try to bite but I really can't bite anything! They keep running! HOW, if I'm invisible? Too invisible that sometimes I bite myself by mistake!
Imp - I hate those marines but I can't resist a female! Sometimes I have sex with a female marine but after I fuck her she's dead. DAMNED THOSE SENSITIVE BITCHES! Don't know why she fucking dies!!!
Cacodemon - Earth is a bloody place to live, it's all covered with blood but when I approach the blood becomes translucent, weird! Oh, my mistake! It's not blood it's water, looks like I'm the one who has blue blood.
Pain Elemental - They call me "Bitch" cause I give birth too much crap per day but that's my way of attacking!
Lost Soul - Someone help me! I'M LOST!!!
Revenant - I never wonder why I can't fire missiles or rockets instead of red burning crap!
Archvile - WHY DOES EVERY ONE IGNORE ME?!!! I can't have a fair fight cause none of my hell partners dare to target me, WHYYYYYYYY?!!!!! I even give second life to them!
Mancubus - I fire at those thin marines like there won't be no tomorrow! HA HA HA HA HA!!! Wait! ...no tomorrow? What does that mean?
Arachnotron - Initializing... searching... continue searching... suspect right there taking a red key... looks like a marine... it's a marine... target spotted! Fire! Never stop firing!... DAMNED THAT PILLAR!!! Target fucking lost!
Spider Mastermind - Initializing... searching... FUCK THIS! I don't have patience for robotic speech. Target's there let's fire... SHIT! He's trying to kill my husband! CIBERDEMON, MY DEAR! I'M COMING TO HELP YOU!
Ciberdemon - I'm perfect or at least I think I am. Mmmhh, I have three flaws, doors are too small for me, my wife doesn't have vagina not even she can find her own ass so I guess she doesn't even have ass, WHERE DO I STICK MY PENIS?!!! Then the third and worse flaw, my butt is UGLY! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
Icon of Sin - I'm a coward! I'm hiding behind a huge textured wall cause I'm stupidly weak and gay, yeah spending my days with my head stuck with a wood stick thinking of sexy stick and male butts is and always was my dream of life, NOW COMING TRUE!... Until some marine gets smarter than me and makes "noclip" just to laugh at my humiliated and ugly face!
Created by me ** LOL
Last edited by MarkAnthony89 on Jan 25 2013 at 21:12