How do you make a Doom film that kicks ass?

Personally I love his over the top cheesiness, makes all of the films he is in great fun (Except a few, like the one where he... Gets pregnant...)

Remember that time that Arnold Schwarzenegger fight the devil himself in that shitty action movie "End of Days"? That involves demonic stuff just like Doom? So yeah, no, i don't think he is good for the role.

John Carpenter directs
Bruce Campbell as doomguy
Probably best if it's not too self-serious in its writing, so no stupid subtexts about morality or science or whatever (though Bruce lamenting the destruction of the environment while standing in nukage would be pretty awesome)

End of Days was just a shit film in general, a horrible waste of some good Arnold.

Here is what I think a couple of good examples of why Arnold could pull it off would be:

Predator: He is being hunted by a foe he can't even hope to defeat, one by one his men fall until he is left alone to face the seemingly unstoppable foe, he utilizes the jungle itself just to kill the beast (Possibly survival horror elements?).

The Running Man: Arnold is thrown into a gameshow where he must survive an onslaught of malicious psychopaths just to survive (possibly survival horror again?)

Commando: He runs around shirtless mowing down hundreds of Dudes, this movie feels like how I play doom.

• Who is UAC, and should there be a backstory about their rise to power as a multinational corporation

Don't give us too much here. A few minutes in a board meeting or something showing us the internal power struggle between the greedy nutcases who will stop at nothing for profit and the semi-sane suits, ala Swann.

• How strong of a military presence there really needs to be on offworld colonies

Some people have covered this. A private security force makes sense, obviously with so many people working there not everyone is going to be an angel. There will be crime, so you need police. Also there are highly secure/restricted areas. Somebody has to enforce this. If you want to make them full blown Marines, you could have them doing extensive weapons R&D for the military, which covers my next point.

• Why there would be so many military/research facilities on Mars's moons, and whether or not it would be more sensible to have it simply set on Mars, as in Doom 3

We want to colonize and eventually terraform Mars someday, so if we're going to test all kinds of whacky shit, we're gonna do it on the moons which are virtually useless.

• Who is DoomGuy, and how integral should his backstory and personality be to the film

The opening scene could cover his background, the assault on the superior officer. If we have a private security force on the moons, he could be discharged from the Marines and land a crummy job babysitting scientists on Phobos. If they're Marines, he just gets demoted and the lousy assignment.

• The use of archaic weapons, especially the double barreled shotgun

ROE actually had a decent explanation for the SSG. There's always the gun enthusiast/collector angle. It's even practical, all the situations up there are close-quarters combat, somebody in each squad is gonna be carrying a shotgun.

• Whether or not DoomGuy should be an Arnold-esque lone hero, or if he should operate within a squadron of marines ala "Aliens"

The novels handled this well, in the beginning Doomguy gets kept behind for some reason and hears the invasion go down over the radio and from there on he's alone (although they have him find his partner later, I could take that or leave it for the movie). Or you could do an angle like Aliens, where the first part of the movie is all atmosphere and what the hell is going on here? Then the cast gets dwindled down by the middle and the last 30 minutes or so it's all Doomguy.

• Hell, demons, and whether or not they are hellish aliens with reality distorting technology, chess pieces crafted by a higher (but incredibly sadistic) intelligence, actual demons from "Hell," whatever that is, or something entirely different

Demons from Hell, period. I don't see what's wrong with this approach. It could be done in a serious, non-cheesy manner. It wouldn't be the first movie to feature actual Hell or demons. I don't see what's so controversial. These days, the violence and the guns are going to get you in more trouble with the PC folks than the Satanic imagery will.

• How prominent "Hell" should be, whether or not its existence should be explained, and how it should look (fire and brimstone, H. R. Giger, Lovecraftian, Event Horizon, etc.)

I thought Doom 3's Hell was well done for the most part, it was fairly abstract and the way the environment shifted around was freaky. It was dark and hostile. Don't get too literal Biblical with it. Don't have The Devil show up. There doesn't need to be a controlling force behind it. Don't explain too much, that let's the viewer fill in with their own beliefs.

• Whether or not there should be gratuitous action/gore with hordes of monsters, or if it should feature concentrated, intense and scattered fights, or a mix

Not tons of action, I like the survival horror element better. Gore doesn't need to be excessive, and please no cheesy moments like a door closing and cutting someone's arm off.

• Archaic, bulky computer tech, and whether or not it should be replaced by the sort of tech one would expect a century from now, such as brain/computer interfaces, nanobots, Blade Runner style replicants, "smart" buildings, etc.

Someone had a good explanation for this already, the technology needing to be rugged and reliable is fairly realistic. Also, let's not get too far ahead of ourselves with technology. Things don't have to be drastically different from today just because it's the future. Remember we're all supposed to have flying cars by now.

• Whether or not the soundtrack would benefit from intense, plodding metal, dark ambient/orchestral, a mix, or something different

Ambience preferred, feel free to mix in a little metal, but don't go over the top please. I don't want to feel like the movie was written for rebellious teenagers.

***Edited for clarity

It definitely has to be more violent! The Doom Movie Adaptation is pretty much child's play compared to the amount of blood and gore flying around in the original DOOM games.

Also, heavy metal soundtrack! Bring it back to the roots!