The /newstuff Chronicles #241

So I decided to do /newstuff, since I've been a DW newsie since '02 or so and I've not posted any news since '02 or so. I've beaten cancer, I've cut my hand in half, I've broken my right leg in 3 places and had to walk home on it, and I was once "nudged" by a car, but I think this will be my biggest challenge yet.

BECAUSE I FUCKING HATE 1994 WADS.

Edit: I don't have to review them. Fuck.

First off, of everything in /newstuff, do NOT download the following WADs. They are either 1994ish WADs or suck so much ass that they choke on it:

All the others:
  • Woah - CheapAlert
    Boom Compatible - n/a - 1391KB -
    GFX/Sound/Weapon replacement. Not terribly bad.

  • Euphoria in Green - Cartelli
    Multiplayer - Deathmatch - 176KB - (img)
    A pretty nice DM map. Slopey and green. Recommended.

  • UAC Nukage Refinery - Leonardo "BuzzBomber" Venturelli
    Limit Removing - Solo Play - 278KB - (img)
    A very nice E1-styled level. Recommended.

  • ChiselFest 2004 - CheapAlert
    ZDoom - Solo Play - 1818KB -
    9 levels, mspaint gfx. Good for a laugh because of the chikchok, but that's about it.

  • Motor Home 2 - I'm me
    Boom Compatible - Solo Play - 145KB -
    Nice idea for a map (I like it, anyway), horribly executed.

  • uac meat packing - terualn and torvul
    Limit Removing - Deathmatch - 59KB -
    I'll just copy from the text file:

    Description: this is my first wad! i made it for my little bro for his birthday to practise deathmatching on! then he wanted to make doom levels and then he done some mapping for for the map and it looked really cool and then it become really awesom! But then we added som stuff and it like stopped working in some sections. Youll need like an ultra fast Pentium or something to run this. It took forever to make nodes.

    It's actually pretty good looking for a '94 level. I beat it in about 10 seconds. (Editor's note: this looks to be a bad joke WAD rather than a genuine 1994 WAD.)

  • Total Darkness 3 - evilhomerdoomer
    Skulltag - Solo Play - 591KB - (img)
    Skulltag map. Nice. Recommended.

  • Bloody Cheese - Dennis "Exl" Meuwissen
    Boom Compatible - Co-op - 125 - (img)
    Nicely detailed, hordes of monsters, made for co-op. Recommended.

  • Fear is the Key - ReX Claussen
    Limit Removing - Solo Play - 320KB -
    City-themed map. Lots of monsters, good detail.

  • Halo Gen - Dennis "Exl" Meuwissen
    Boom Compatible - Deathmatch - 288KB -
    A set of 10 Deathmatch maps. Pretty. Must-have, I say.

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Lol, sorry. To be honest I wasn't 100% on being able to do newstuff; I signed up for it like a month ago, thinking 'hey IM ALWAYS BORED' and my mother, totally randomly, decided to move on Wednesday, tapping her son who has a hand cut in half to help her. I spent 18 hours moving all her furniture and everything out of her house to a new place. I've been hurtin ever since.

However, if you ever need newstuff again, im more than willing, now that I've had practice i could probably pull it off properly. The reviews were short for the most part because I played them in a short amount of time (I was expecting to be tapped to help move again).

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I wish there were preview pics for all the maps.

What GL engine does that green map work with? Couldn't get it to work with jDoom or zDoomGL...

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UAC Nukage Refinery is a very good map. Easily one of the best E1 style maps I've ever played, despite the fact that it breaks a couple "E1 rules". Be sure to play this one.

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rtz said:
I wish there were preview pics for all the maps.

You have to understand screen shot development is quite a task where Tobester lives; he has to ride all the way to the nearest Kodak store and wait 2-5 days till they ready the pics. Also, he ran out of typerwriter paper, but he managed to scribble all the reviews on a strip of toilet paper with his mom's leaky fountain pen, which he sent to Bloodshedder over express mail (thus BS got annoyed, as he had to transcribe the hard to read handwriting... some of which was lost in the process.)

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Crappiest. Review. Ever. I had to download every one of those rated maps to see if they were worth keeping on my drive, and some of them were. (Though not neccesarily the ones this reviewer said).

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Thanks for the criticism.

Yeah, I spose I should've made screenies for each map. That would've been the smart thing. I forgot all about making screens tho, and BS reminded me to like 5 minutes before he posted newstuff, so I did the great maps and canned the crap maps.

Want better reviews? Make better maps :P

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Wow, Fear is the Key is great, and to think it almost runs on vanilla (if it weren't for those pesky visplane overflows ;). I always really enjoyed Rex's other works like Return to Phobos, which I believe was also his. I think this might be some of his best work right here!

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Other than the occational FS script and 3d floor. That Legacy map, doesn't really require legacy to be played and looked at.

It looks rather nice, but I doubt I'd ever wanna Deathmatch in it though.

Hobbstiger: Well, if you think this is worse than TomD's sensless shouting and raging insanity-reviews. Then I think you need a checkup to.

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Skulltag map. Nice. Recommended.


Why, thank you Tobester ;)

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I'm going to agree that these reviews were pretty bad :/. I only have a vague idea of which maps to get. However considering the circumstances I guess it couldn't be avoided (although why the heck did your mom not think about your cut-in-half hand 0_o).

Oh and I bet I could do better reviews ;).

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dude tom_d pwnz tobey in the sincere, elaborate, bottom-line review department.

BRING TOM_D BACK

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since I've been a DW newsie since '02 or so and I've not posted any news since '02 or so.

And concerning the "quality" of your reviews, we all know why!

Nevertheless: The better idea would have been to pull the release of the /newstuff reviews out for another one or two days so you get some more time to write the shit and capture some more screen. A /newstuff like this one is very disappointing to the wad creators which looked forward to some long review for their piece of effort :|

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yeah i own you homoes HAHAHAHA.

Everyone loves senseless shouting and raging insanity type reviews.

Except Germans or Swedes

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About what Tormentor667 said, maybe a long review or just a review of them. Fortunately, good wads like "High Tech Alien Hell 2" were rescued from this phenomenon. Anyway, "UAC Nukage Refinery" and "Bloody Cheese" are nice highlights here.

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Nuxius said:

Although it doesn't suprise me given the overall poor quality of reviews for this weeks newstuff, you forgot about Dutch Devil's "Altar of Evil".


I actually tried this and found it really frustrating. The harder enemies, cramped areas and general lack of any health/armor/ammo just makes it an exercise in save/load all over the place. Not very fun if you ask me :/

Anyway it will just be reviewed next week. Just be a little patient. Reviews aren't everything. If it was reviewed this week you'd probabally complain the review was too short :P

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kristus said:

Other than the occational FS script and 3d floor. That Legacy map, doesn't really require legacy to be played and looked at.

It looks rather nice, but I doubt I'd ever wanna Deathmatch in it though.

Hobbstiger: Well, if you think this is worse than TomD's sensless shouting and raging insanity-reviews. Then I think you need a checkup to.


I forgot about those. But those aren't really reviews. Those are crap stuck on a page to make all of us angry (or something).

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As for wads I didn't review, I reviewed everything that was in the /newstuff directory on Saturday morning. Someone sent me a PM claiming I forgot some, but the ones he directed me to were uploaded later that day.

As I said, I apologize for said shitty reviews. Gimme another chance :)

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In the words of the comic book guy (from the Simpsons): worst. newstuff chronicles. ever.

Well, maybe not quite. :) But it really would've been nice to get a bit information, not to mention some more screenshots; the purpose of t/nc is, after all, to let people know what the good and the bad maps are, so that they can concentrate on the former and disregard the latter.

FWIW, that also means that you'll have to play all the 1994 maps. Sure, they're crap - or at least most of them are. But it's your job as the reviewer to do this kind of grunt work so that everyone else doesn't have to. Don't like it? Then don't do the newstuff chronicles.

Ah well. I'm sure you'll do better next time. :)

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Schneelocke said:

FWIW, that also means that you'll have to play all the 1994 maps. Sure, they're crap - or at least most of them are. But it's your job as the reviewer to do this kind of grunt work so that everyone else doesn't have to. Don't like it? Then don't do the newstuff chronicles.

Actually, our current policy is that the reviewers don't have to review the 1994 WADs if they don't want to.

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Bloodshedder said:

Actually, our current policy is that the reviewers don't have to review the 1994 WADs if they don't want to.


Touché. But it still would be nice if they did...

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Its the last time I will upload something, it wont get reviewed anyway.
Three monts of hard work, and what do you get...nothing.

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dutch devill, the main reason you upload stuff is so that it gets reviewed here?

Then yeah, don't do it any more. Get married and raise a family, or something, instead.

I don't totally agree with what some people said about the length of Tobester's reviews. Sure, more through ones would have been cool. But that's not always possible, no one is getting paid to do anything here. At least most of the links are there; we can add stuff as we play them... and who on earth depends entirely on the reviews on whether they will download something? It helps a bit, but often even reading the text files is enough for that.

Bloodshedder said:
Actually, our current policy is that the reviewers don't have to review the 1994 WADs if they don't want to.

But are links required? In some instances not even those were provided... and that can indeed make people totally miss some of the incoming stuff.

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Ok I understand ill let it rest, it was just an bit of an dissapointment to not see an review.
Ah well the link is allready there thanks to nuxius.

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