Famous Video Game One Liners

GooberMan said:
Sam: I think I've got something in my eye
Max: Try digging it out with a fork, that always works for me

Max: How come I don't get an inventory?
Sam: Where would you keep it?
Max: That's none of your damn biasness Sam.

Max: Hey Sam! That guy in the totem pole has a marsh mellow
Sam: So?
Max: I want a marsh mellow!
Sam: You are a marsh mellow Max.

Sam: I'm excited!
Max: Who isn't?

Heh, I could do this for quite a while... and I Probably will :)

hadoken!

oremoR nhoJ ,em llik tsum ouy emag eht niw oT -- Satan: Doom2

Why is there always a thin ledge above a bottomless pit, and WHY must I always CROSS IT?? Caleb: Blood2

I hope this is not Chris' blood. Barry Burton: RE1

NO JILL! Don't open THAT Door! Wesker: RE1

Ichor said:

There are a lot of famous one-liners where we didn't exactly hear the character speaking. Instead, it was written in a text. For instance, some of the things Minsc (Baldur's Gate 1, 2, and Throne of Baal) said were quite funny, since he tends to talk to his hamster a lot. I haven't played the game in a long time, so I can't remember any right now.

"Make way evil! I'm armed to the teeth and packing a hamster!"
"This behavior must not continue! Feel the burning stare of my hamster and change your ways."
"Wherever there is evil walking funny, there will be Minsc's boot, doing the work of goodness!"
"He who sneaks up on Minsc loses teeth!"
"Stop giving Boo crackers. He is getting rather portly, and the crumbs make for an itchy Bedroll."
"When the going get tough, somebody hold my rodent."

Stuff like that?

Minsc is the bomb.

heh...how could I forget this one

"I'm sorry mario, but our princess is in another castle."
super mario bros.

"hate,
hate,
hate,
hate,
HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE."
kefka, final fantasy III

"aren't you a bit short for an imperial trooper?"
celes, final fantsay III in one of many star wars references.

Korax: "You have played this game too long Mortal..."
I think I shall remove you from the board!"

"Get off my train" - Caleb, Blood I (you gotta have seen AF1 to get this one...)
"You must be eighteen or older to ride" - The duke (in DNMP)
"Babes, bullets, bombs. Damn i love this job." - ditto
"Ah, look, you're coming apart" - Lo Wang

"YOURE THE BEST" - Dave Perry
"Doesnt Suck" - GM
Anything from parappa the rappa
everything from Sam and Max, and alpha centauri including the signs on the windows

All the quake 3 quotes are corny, but some are REALLY corny

"WE put the test in testosterone" - Hunter
""OPPONENT EVALUATION: 'Nonlethal/mostly harmless.'" -tank jr
"Brainless moro... oops... wait I CAN see your brain, " -Doom
Old, slow and ugly is no way to go through life, ~d00d." - Anarki
"Anarki: 1, Llamas: 0." - Anarki
"How many walls did that bounce off of before it hit me? " - Anarki
"Who wrote your program, ? Like, Benjamin Franklin?" - Anarki

"You're not supposed to be here." ~ Levelord, Duke3D

Oh yeah, I almost forgot Alpha Centauri. A storehouse of zany videogame quotes.


"Einstein would surely turn over in his grave. Not only does God play dice, the dice are loaded." (Chairman Sheng Gi Yang comment on probability mechanics.)


Another Sheng Gi Yang quote: "It is every citizen's final duty to go into the tanks and become one with all the People. (Said after the completion of a recycling tank).


"A handsome young cyborg named Ace"
"wooed women at every base."
"But once ladies glanced at"
"his special enhancement"
"they vanished with nary a trace."

From Fallout 2:
" Whoah!, That's a big fuckin ant!"
I cant believe no one has said Redneck Rampage yet:)
"I'm gonna be on you like stink on shit!"

Oh man...has anyone here ever played Conker's Bad Fur Day? Here's a quote from a stoned scarecrow you meet at the beginning of the game (Keep in mind that he's got a really raspy voice and looks like he's gonna fall over) :

Birdy"Mah name's ...Birdy."

Conker"Beardy? But you don't even have a beard."

Birdy"Nah nah nah...BIRDY, [Motioning with his arms] I scare birrrdies!"

Guess it's just one of those things you have to see.

Heh, Impossible mission on C64 was cool.
"Another visitor! Stay a while, stay forever!"

Hehehe, good old C64 voice emulation. (and yes I know it's already been mentioned)

"WHAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!" - Battlelord, Duke3d

"I bet I could transfer the brain of a duck into the body of a marketing manager... but what would be the point?" - Caleb, Blood

(in high-pitched voice) "Just you WAIT... smartarse! You're not getting out of this THAT easily." - Gregg The Grim Reaper, Conker's BFD

(All in Cockney accents)
Tezza: Hey loo' at that. Izza little squirrel.
Bazza: I reckin' we shud get dow' there, kick th' shit outta 'im
Nozza: Nah nah, wai' til' 'ee comes up 'ere, alrigh'?
Bazza: Aw, awkay, yeh.
- The Dung Beetles, Conker's BFD

"YOU ARE INFERIOR" - Xan Kreigor, Unreal Tournament

"Life is Pain, get over it!" - Gorge, UT2003

"Two portals lead to certain death... CHOOSE WISELY." - Tchernborg, Blood

"Permission to speak freely? I don't think you know what you're doing." - Terran Soldier, Starcraft

"Twatting Shite!" - The Cog, Conker's BFD

"M-M-M-M-MONSTER KILL!" - Announcer, UT/UT2003

"Someone had to pay for what happened to Daisy, your pet rabbit" - Ultimate Doom Ending

"Lady Luck was a hooker, sometimes you're flat out of cash" - Max Payne, Max Payne (duh!)

"You better get this fat-ass bitch off my back PRONTO" - The Block, Conker's BFD

"You're in a computer game Max" - Piece Of Paper, Max Payne

"Hey, catch me later, I'll buy ya a beer" - Barney, Half-Life

Woman: This is not a game, Lazlow. Life does NOT have a reset button.
Lazlow: But this show does. (Woman's line goes dead) Ah, I love that button..."
- Chatterbox 109FM, GTA3

King Bee: "Thanks little buddy... I feel like a new man!"
Sunflower: "So do I... Conker honey? Care for a bounce?"
Conker: "...A bounce? Yes... now THIS is what I call a platform game!"
- Conker, King Bee and Sunflower, Conker's BFD

"I LIVE... AGAIN" - Caleb, Blood

"Balls of brass sir, polished to the Nth degree" - Big Bollocked Boiler, Conker's BFD

VileSlay said:

kefka, final fantasy III

Hmmph, it's final fantasy VI. Just if all the final fantasies have not been published in the US. doesn't make it III. If they ever publish final fantasies I-III in the US. what are they going to call them? -III?

DooMer 4ever said:

Hmmph, it's final fantasy VI. Just if all the final fantasies have not been published in the US. doesn't make it III. If they ever publish final fantasies I-III in the US. what are they going to call them? -III?

they translated FF1, 4 and 6.

"They" are never gonna bring over FF2 and 3, and they did a half-assed pro translation on FF5 (and yes, they called it Final Fantasy 5, part of one of the Playstation packages). Find yourself a Japanese ROM and a fan translation patch; much much better than a hack translator will ever be.

What the hell is Conker's Bad Fur Day? It sounds genuinely fun.

Why does it remind me of Bonkers?

Little Faith said:

What the hell is Conker's Bad Fur Day? It sounds genuinely fun.

It is a 3D platformer on N64 released by Rareware.

mmnpsrsoskl said:

It is a 3D platformer on N64 released by Rareware.

...that was essentually a censor-trap. Barely-bleeped swearing, extreme violence, thinly-veiled sexual references, world-class toilet humor, fart and poo jokes... all perpertrated by cute fluffy animals.

And there was a giant singing turd as well. Speaking of which...

(Great Mighty Poo tests his voice, then sings)
GMP:I am the Great Mighty Poo
and I'm going to throw my shit at you.
A huge supply of tish
comes from my chocolate starfish.
How about some scat you little TWAT?
(The fight begins. After you fling a bog roll in his mouth, he resumes singing...)
GMP: Did you really think you'll survive in here?
You don't seem to know which creek you're in.
Sweetcorn is the only thing that makes it through my rear
how'd ya think I keep this lovely grin? *twinkly smile*
(The battle resumes. After a few more bog rolls, the music speeds up...)
GMP: Now I'm really getting rather mad,
you're like a niggly tiggly shitty little tagnut.
When I know you out with all my bap
I'm going to take your head
and RAM IT UP MY BUTT.
Conker: ...your butt?
GMP: MY BUTT.
Conker: Your butt?
GMP: MY BUTT...
Conker: Eugh.
GMP: MY BUTT...!
Conker: Ergh!
GMP: (Very loudly, prolonged) MY BUUUTT!
(Some glass, seperating Conker from a large chain, shatters. After pulling the chain, the music stops, and a familair sound plays...)
GMP: Oh, no! I'm flusing, I'M FLUSHING! Oh, what a world, what a world...

The whole song is sung Opera style, you really have to hear it to understand. The song's called "Sloprano", if you want to look for it on Kazza. Look for "Conker Meets Death" as well, for a laugh.

"Are you still touching me?" Footman, Warcraft II
"Sonic Boom!" Guile, Street Fighter