oh god, he's asking a question!!!

Guest42 said:

Oh yeah... Ryan Storms? Sorry, but that sounds to me like calling him "Mighty Max".

You dissin' Mighty Max??? O thats it, you and me outside now, I'm gunna take you out....How does Italian and a Movie sound? :P

I think I'll be saving BBG's reply to wordpad and save it for whenever some guy gets the neat idea to ask this again. What's the tally at now? 10 threads like this? Meh.

Sigh. I like the Doom novels. Lemme give a little retort to a bit of BBG's oft-used critque.

First of all, I love the name Flynn Taggart. Sounds like a real American hero's name. Pwnz. Everything BBG hates about Arlene are the things that make me love her so much, and Jill just kicks ass. Besides, what's wrong with being attracted to a 14-year-old, eh? Eh?! I don't wanna hear it.

Albert was kind of a pud, yeah, but eh. I dunno. He was still cool. He didn't try to convert Flynn or Arelene or Jill until one of them breached the subject, which is awesome IMO. Most Christians (in my experience) are incredibly pushy with their religion and especially Mormons, so the fact that Albert, a Mormon, was portrayed as being cool with atheists, etc, was pretty cool IMO. Plus he was a USMC sniper. That rules.

Yeah, pretty much everything from the third and fourth books sucked. I agree with that, though I still think the writing and such were excellent, even though the content was abhorrent.

BAH! Talking imps and imps with satchel charges rule. Talking imps with satchel charges would rule even more. And no matter how much you hate them you have to admit that the names they came up with for the monsters were logical. Anyway, they're a lot better than "BIG MOUTHED FLOATING THINGIES!"

Anyway, I'm getting bored with this post so I'll leave this thread be from now on but I still like the Doom novels, even if they aren't really Doom - they're still good pulp sci-fi.

Liam the Bard said:
are you some kind of mega-troll or are you just too stupid to read what you quote? smack-dab in between your quote tags:
[...]

where i acknowledged the possibility that bbg didn't care that it differed from doom's storyline, but that it did so in an unacceptably stupid way, and suggested that if that's true then next time he decides to rant about the doom novels he should explicitly state it.

if you did so in your review, i don't care because i wasn't talking about your review. in the very first line of my post i made my thesis statement: bbg's criticism of the doom novels sucks. continued use of the pronoun 'you' (singular) instead of 'you guys' (plural), 'yall' (plural), or 'you ignorant cockmongers' (also plural) suggests that my comments are directed at one person, who already been designated as bbg

I know you dumbfuck (the "dumbfuck" thing should not be taken serious), you were directing your criticism at BBG, but I happened to disagree with you, I happen to disagree with you alot, and you explicitly said:

do YOU want to read a hundred or more pages detailing the adventures of a nameless man in green tights as he runs at 60mph through miles of corridors and shoots the same demons over and over and over? if you do you're really unfit to critique a piece of literature.

To which I replied that that is a downright stupid comment to make, because it has NOTHING to do with why BBG (and I) hate the novels. I was pointing out how I felt some of your points are irrelevant and silly - it doesn't matter to WHOM you're directing your criticism at. I apparently did not make that clear and for that I'm sorry.

i do not read fan fiction, and even if i did your comment about the talent of doomworld's fanfic authors is stupid and irrelevent anyway because the point of critiquing something is to critique it and not to simply point out things that are better.

Oh? I seem to remember that you once posted a fan fic yourself. Oh well, that's not the same as reading fan fics I guess. If you think it's stupid and irrelevent then you're kinda off. It's relevant in the way that if you want to see how Doom stories are supposed to be done (in a way that the Doom novels certainly aren't) then you should read some good fan fics. Indirect criticism, my boyo.

if an action/suspense book i was interested in featured a main character named Squigle McBoomfuh, i would be weirded out at any reviewer who didn't mention it. my point, however, was never that such ridiculous things should never be pointed out in a review, but that listing every single one and making up some kind of stupid, smartass remark for every one is not thouroughly critiquing it.

I find it funny that this should come from a guy like you, who sure as Hell didn't do an awfully good job at reviewing Doom wads when he was a /newstuff reviewer. This thing is not a professional review, and you criticising BBG for that seems kinda off to me - if a fan wants to criticise a book that in his opinion blasphemized his favorite game, then it's perfectly all right for him to criticize the names, for he is no professional reviewer.
[/quote]

BAH! Talking imps and imps with satchel charges rule. Talking imps with satchel charges would rule even more. And no matter how much you hate them you have to admit that the names they came up with for the monsters were logical. Anyway, they're a lot better than "BIG MOUTHED FLOATING THINGIES!"

Talking imps and demons is donright stupid. These things are supposed to be pure evil - pure evil, the way it has always been portrayed, is completely devoid of anything you can call "intelligence", so have them either talk or utilize human weapons is not only dirt cheap, it's plain stupid. Some of the names, like BBG said, are ok and make sense, but wtf was up with "Clydes" for the commandos? One would think that Flynn Taggert had seen human commandos before - in his place I'd call them chaingunners or "commandos" (most likely "chaingunner/machinegunner" because that's kinda the way a soldier would refer to an enemy brandishing a machinegun - like when he's been scouting and has to report to his superior, he says "Two machinegunners, 1 tank, 1 rocket soldier - the rest regulars, Sir!").

And both of you seem to completely miss the more intelligent points in BBG's last post (or my own). As I pointed out, shit like having two marines build a spacecraft to take them home has to be the worst idea in any story trying to seem intelligent that I've seen to date and that's what you get in the Novel - things here and there that don't quite seem to make sense.

Oh and BBG: Liam seems to want a professional review of the novels. Get hold of your friend's dad (the one with a degree in litterature), get him to write a review of the damn Novels and post his review here.

Ok. I didn't mind the first book. I have not read the others, I may eventually. The first book was ok. The doomguys name isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be, the monsters names are kind of appropriate, because the characters in the book don't have a doom manual to reference from, I'd say they were trying to deviate from the book a bit. I mean, we know the names of the monsters because we play the games. In both book and game, these creatures had never been encountered before, so where did the names come from? They came from the id, mainly because the names sounded cool to the idders. The book authors tried to make names and explain them, I give them credit for trying that.

One name I do have a problem with is the name they call the cyber-demon. The steam demon, whenever I read that name, makes me think that it's as if the doomguy came from the 18th century instead of the future as he is supposed to be.

I can't judge the other books, I'd say the only reason they aren't popular here.....is because they move away from the game we know and love. Which is kind of irrational, but does make sense.

Now, finally. Liam, I hope you are trolling, because if you aren't, wherever you went when you left the forum seems to have turned you into an idiot.