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Captain Red

when you have make the dumb.

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Hmm... I once was shaving and noticed a tiny hair on the blade and decided to whipe it away with my finger...

Yeah.. you only do something like that once.

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I once publicly accused some innocent stranger of stealing something of mine without even bothering to check that it wasn't still exactly where I'd left it. Both dumb, and very embarrassing.

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Oh man, where do I start.
Well, the arrests definetely weren't a good idea.
Also, DO NOT ACCEPT ALCOHOL FROM STRANGERS!

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Silverwyvern said:
Hmm... I once was shaving and noticed a tiny hair on the blade and decided to whipe it away with my finger...

heh. I think that's happend to everybody aleast once.

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I was in a hurry one evening, brushing my teeth as fast as I could. I pulled back too far, the brush popped out, run up my cheek and stabbed straight into my eye. Yeah that really hurt.

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Ct_red_pants said:

heh. I think that's happend to everybody aleast once.

Not me. Need I explain?

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Ok, here's one, I used to play piano and stuff, and I was looking for a new Yamaha keyboard, ya so I phone up the shop and for some reason I was like
"hi, do u have any Yomama keyboards?"

heh, ya... that got me on his good side alright, hung up, didn't wanna walk into the store or he mighta kicked my ass or something :)

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AndrewB said:

Not me. Need I explain?


AndrewB lacks facial hair, pubic hair, armpit hair, chest hair, back hair, leg hair, arm hair...well, he's one hairless person.

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once I jumped off a bridge into a river

not cause my friends did

but to prove I was cooler than them

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Tobester said:

once I jumped off a bridge into a river

not cause my friends did

but to prove I was cooler than them

If you REALLY want to prove that you're cool, you should sit on the hood of a car while a friend speeds on the highway to 100MPH and then slams on the brakes. I have great confidence that you will become very cool after that.

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I once rode on the roof of a car while my friend did 80mph. I dont regret that though 'cause it was awesome and I didnt get injured. It probably wasnt too smart though.

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Ct_red_pants said:

heh. I think that's happend to everybody aleast once.

I always wipe perpendicular to and down the blade. I'm a hairy mofo, too...

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Somehow I think, that, in my absent-mindedness (which happens to me at times), were I to point out the most seemingly embarassing thing I can recall, someone would outdo me by reminding me of something worse that I did.

Well, ahhhh...

Probably riding the hobby horse without a blanket (I think anyone who has a good imagination can figure this one out).

Other than that... Drinking motor oil when I was like 4 and having my stomach pumped...




This is going to be very graphic. I'd suggest if you are easily offended or very squeamish (or a fucking square with no sense of humor or you hate me), that you do not read on.









Or better yet, letting my brother give me a handlebar ride on his bike when I was around the same age, getting jounced off the handlebar from hitting a bump, and straddling the aluminum frame on the dorsal side of my penis. Needless to say, when that happens to a child, reproductive harm may be done to them. But that's not the dumb part. My urethra had been closed shut (the passage from which urine exits the body through the genitals) from the incident, and they'd had to de-cath me (stick a tube down my urethra) open, I almost died because the urine had started to back up into my kidneys. When they pulled the decatheter out, I pissed ALL OVER THE NURSE'S FACE that did it to me.

About 1 1/2 years ago my dad told me about how I'd peed all over her face (I remembered the accident well) and I said "Well shit dad, I feel kinda bad about it now, heh."

"Don't, she was a total fucking bitch anyways."

lol

Unfortunately, because of that whole incident it seemed, according to the doctors, that extensive testicular damage had been done to me and so in light of that, my chances of successful procreation down the road would be slim-to-nothing.

Fucking brothers :( lol

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Ct_red_pants said:

heh. I think that's happend to everybody aleast once.

I've certainly done it. Only once though.

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Laguna said:

my chances of successful procreation down the road would be slim-to-nothing.

I envy you. You should be glad.

Evidently, regardless of independent adult age, a vasectomy can be very hard to come by.

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I once walked up to someone to greet him. When he turned around it wasn't my friend, it was a total stranger who looked like him. I really hate it when that happens.

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I was in a hurry one evening, brushing my teeth as fast as I could. I pulled back too far, the brush popped out, run up my cheek and stabbed straight into my eye. Yeah that really hurt.


I've done that before but I think it only went up my nose.

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Doing 126mph on the Bristol ring road before chickening out.
Speeding generally when I'm in a rush and I know I shouldn't.
Messed up w/ too many girls to list.
Leaving my wallet behind a few times.
Dropping my mobile phone in the toilet at a club when drunk.
Was inflating someone's bicycle tyre at work, only I hadn't put the inner tube on correctly, it was pinched. Suddenly it exploded - sound like a shotgun, everyone in the store screams and dives for cover.
Calling my ex-SAS swimming teacher a spastic when I was like 7. I bought myself 2 years of pain with that line.
Breaking my ankle badly trying to tackle some meathead in Rugby.
When I had said injury and was in plaster, I asked another guy on crutches "What have you done, then?" jokingly. I couldn't see his lower side. He'd lost his entire left leg. d'oh.
Accidentally dropping a packet of johns in front of my parents.
When I was 13 I had a go on a mate's quad bike and proceeded to demolish his shed.
With the same mate, same age, a load of us turned this old wreck of a car over in his field and watched it roll over down the hill and wipe out the neighbouring field's electric fence. Oops.
We were stealing porno mags from the little store near school when we were 13. I was a little bastard at 13.

And more, lots more.

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Disorder said:

I once walked up to someone to greet him. When he turned around it wasn't my friend, it was a total stranger who looked like him. I really hate it when that happens.

Heh, one of my friends told me about how a guy walked up to her once, turned her around, and kissed her on the mouth and then said "Oh uh... wrong person, sorry," and walked off blushing.

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Nanami said:

Heh, one of my friends told me about how a guy walked up to her once, turned her around, and kissed her on the mouth and then said "Oh uh... wrong person, sorry," and walked off blushing.

Heh, that's happened to me twice. One was a slightly drunk girl on Millennium eve who frenched me before realising and then said "Oops, whatever, you're not Mark" and staggered off almost angrily, the other time I felt a hand on my ass and hip, turned round and this girl jumped like a mile - her boyf had no beard, lol. She went more red than I've ever seen before, so did I though, I think.

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Another one would be achieving an erection while giving a speech in science class. I was behind the podium when I had it, but people could see my shoulders moving when I adjusted my crotch, and then the vertical bulge coming out of my crotch when I got done with the speech.

Damn it, don't you hate it when that happens? I wonder if thinking about unattractive, ugly women will remedy this...? Well I guess it doesn't matter since I'm a senior now anyways. This little incident happened in 9th grade.

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AndrewB said:

If you REALLY want to prove that you're cool, you should sit on the hood of a car while a friend speeds on the highway to 100MPH and then slams on the brakes. I have great confidence that you will become very cool after that.


Shut the fuck up.

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Laguna said:

Another one would be achieving an erection while giving a speech in science class. I was behind the podium when I had it, but people could see my shoulders moving when I adjusted my crotch, and then the vertical bulge coming out of my crotch when I got done with the speech.

Wow, that must've been really embarrasing. Quite funny for us though :)

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A bit on the dumb side? Going to Mervins, buying a bra, going home, and finding out that the sales lady who sold it to me was my mom's friend. That caused my mom not to trust me for about a year.

I've also accidentally picked up a girlfriend before.

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TeamKill said:

A bit on the dumb side? Going to Mervins, buying a bra, going home, and finding out that the sales lady who sold it to me was my mom's friend. That caused my mom not to trust me for about a year.

I've also accidentally picked up a girlfriend before.


Hmm. Don't quite understand why this is so blush-worthy.

Oh well...

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Laguna said:

Another one would be achieving an erection while giving a speech in science class. I was behind the podium when I had it, but people could see my shoulders moving when I adjusted my crotch, and then the vertical bulge coming out of my crotch when I got done with the speech.

That's happened to me a couple times, regrettably. I'm sure the guys were snickering at it, and the girls were blushing at it, giggling at it, or both.

Laguna also said
Damn it, don't you hate it when that happens? I wonder if thinking about unattractive, ugly women will remedy this...? Well I guess it doesn't matter since I'm a senior now anyways. This little incident happened in 9th grade.

I'm not sure, sometimes it (if you know what I mean) just pops up, out of the blue, for no apparent reason. :(
/me blushes

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