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Job

Daily News #6: Rumsfeld Under Fire & Shots at School

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Rumsfeld Attacked for Shortcomings in Iraq
During a conference with soldiers, Rumsfeld faced adversaries he didn't count on; U.S. troops. Complaining of being ill-equipped for the duties asked of them, some soldiers claimed they felt compelled to search through landfills for scrap in order to reinforce the inadequate armored vehicles they drive. Caught off guard, Rumsfeld replied that it is their duty to fulfill their military obligations with whatever equipment they are given and that even the best-armored vehicles are no match for the ubiquitous roadside bombs used by insurgents. More on this story here.

There's Always Room for Jell-o...Right?
The principal of Geraldine Boudreaux Elementary would beg to differ. After a young girl was told by her mom, a bar tender, to sell what were possibly Jell-o shots, 3 for a dollar, on the playground, the 8 year old was suspended for 9 days. The child claimed that her mother asked her to sell the shots for extra Christmas money. More on this story here.

Irrelevant Bonus Story: Zoo Keepers Amused by "Gorilla Wake"

"Babs is dead."

The words breathily escaped the homely face of Brookfield Zoo Curator Melinda Jones as a unanimous gasp rippled through the crowd of disenfranchised zoo keepers. The crew watched as Bana the gorilla lovingly groped Babs in a touching farewell gesture, warming the hearts of some, warming others far, far too much. She was euthanized after reportedly suffering from a severe kidney condition, though some argued it was only kidney stones.

"We had never expected this," Pruett added in a closed-interview. "I mean, we weren't even aware that gorillas could get kidney disfunctions in the first place. And Babs was the dominant female of the group, so we definitely didn't know what to do with that particular variable."

After news of the gorilla's death, the zoo central office was overwhelmed with calls from Last Wish Foundation candidates who wished to poke Babs with a stick before falling victim to the spiteful, sometimes impotent, god of death. All requests were forcefully refused.

"We'll never forget Babs," Pruett said, "though none of our staff wants to go into the cage to remove the body, so we probably won't bother. It's got to go somewhere, right? Maybe it won't be there in the morning."

More on this story here.

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Job said:

"We'll never forget Babs," Pruett said, "though none of our staff wants to go into the cage to remove the body, so we probably won't bother. It's got to go somewhere, right? Maybe it won't be there in the morning."


FP

Heh wtf? Lazy zookeepers

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Donald Rumsfeld is like any high ranking political leader. Whever they get called out on their rhetoric, they are dumbfounded and become angry and upset that anyone would dare ask them anything other than a lowball question.

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BBG said:

All these stories are from Fark, FFS. At least get ones NOT ON FARK.

Oh no! I forgot that Fark has rights to all publications, media and any stories in the news first and foremost! Believe it not, not everyone goes to Fark.

Seriously, what the shit isn't on Fark? The stories about charity and kindness in the world and all that boring crap? That's not worth a thread. If you don't like this "Fark redundancy" don't post.

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BBG said:

All these stories are from Fark, FFS. At least get ones NOT ON FARK.


Who gives a fuck? Not me.

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Job said:

The stories about charity and kindness in the world and all that boring crap? That's not worth a thread.


and yet the misadventures of a child selling jello shots on elementary school grounds and the death of a nondescript zoo gorilla are highly relevant and immensely important topics of discussion?

is fark your major news source as far as these threads go? i don't go there for a reason, you know.

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Liam said:

is fark your major news source as far as these threads go? i don't go there for a reason, you know.

Nope, it's good 'ol reliable CNN. The point is, it's interesting to just post more unusual stories. I'll leave the serious "news reporting" to the real news authorities. Let's keep things on topic now, please.

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Fine, here's something that ISN'T on Fark... yet.

Matrix Writers in Lawsuit

http://www.slccglobelink.com/news/2004/10/28/Entertainment/mother.Of.The.Matrix.Victorious-785067.shtml

Stewart, a New Yorker who has resided in Salt Lake City for the past five years, will recover damages from the films, The Matrix I, II and III, as well as The Terminator and its sequels. She will soon receive one of the biggest payoffs in the history of Hollywood, as the gross receipts of both films and their sequels total over 2.5 billion dollars.

Stewart filed her case in 1999, after viewing the Matrix, which she felt had been based on her manuscript, "The Third Eye," copyrighted in 1981. In the mid-eighties Stewart had submitted her manuscript to an ad placed by the Wachowski Brothers, requesting new sci-fi works.

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Numbermind said:

Fine, here's something that ISN'T on Fark... yet.

Matrix Writers in Lawsuit

http://www.slccglobelink.com/news/2004/10/28/Entertainment/mother.Of.The.Matrix.Victorious-785067.shtml

Woah, that's crazy. What kind of a script would have both plot elements of The atrix and The Terminator?

Anyway, I really bloody hate these daily news threads. If I want news, I'll go to Fark kthxbye.

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Numbermind said:

Fine, here's something that ISN'T on Fark... yet.

Matrix Writers in Lawsuit

Hah, and she won too. Anybody who's seen more than a few Hollywood movies could tell the Matrix is nothing more than a melange movie which goes through every big cliche on the list of generic filmmaking. I've been saying that since the movie first came out, and it's nice that they're finally taking a hit for it (hopefully other melange movie directors like the Wachowskis [asking for scripts??] will catch on and spare us from all the other uninspired crap flooding theaters), HOWEVER... you only need to see that she's simultaneously sueing the Wachowskis and James Cameron to figure that she's most likely after money as opposed to actual specific story stealing. That she connects the same essay to two movies as disparate as the Terminator series and the Matrix series probably means their connection to the essay is quite disparate in the first place. But, if the Wachowskis did indeed lift specific things from her script, then I'm glad she won her case. I would hope every other source they've lifted material from comes to make their claims as well. It's annoying, the amount of corporations stealing and using whatever they wish from other people's ideas, and not giving the original creators credit or recompense. Hopefully this begins a turnaround.

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Yeah, the Matrix movies (well to be fair I only watched the first one) are about as cliched and unoriginal as, say, Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. Someday I really hope the epic movie genre dies a horrible death.

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BBG said:

All these stories are from Fark, FFS. At least get ones NOT ON FARK.


For your information, I don't read Fark and I find these particular threads quite interesting. So BBG, plz do us all a favor and stfu nub

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Lüt said:

Hah, and she won too. Anybody who's seen more than a few Hollywood movies could tell the Matrix is nothing more than a melange movie which goes through every big cliche on the list of generic filmmaking. I've been saying that since the movie first came out, and it's nice that they're finally taking a hit for it (hopefully other melange movie directors like the Wachowskis [asking for scripts??] will catch on and spare us from all the other uninspired crap flooding theaters), HOWEVER... you only need to see that she's simultaneously sueing the Wachowskis and James Cameron to figure that she's most likely after money as opposed to actual specific story stealing. That she connects the same essay to two movies as disparate as the Terminator series and the Matrix series probably means their connection to the essay is quite disparate in the first place. But, if the Wachowskis did indeed lift specific things from her script, then I'm glad she won her case. I would hope every other source they've lifted material from comes to make their claims as well. It's annoying, the amount of corporations stealing and using whatever they wish from other people's ideas, and not giving the original creators credit or recompense. Hopefully this begins a turnaround.

both films = machines > humans
she could have won based off that.

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BBG said:

All these stories are from Fark, FFS. At least get ones NOT ON FARK.


The one about Rumsfeld is true, I saw a video of it on the news (PS sorry if someone has said this already)

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