Your best pickup lines?

Guys, you really should listen to Starke von Oben. He knows a lot about sex. Did you know that if you wear Halloween costumes you won't get laid? I mean, this guy is seriously a genius.

Nomad said:

Guys, you really should listen to Starke von Oben. He knows a lot about sex. Did you know that if you wear Halloween costumes you won't get laid? I mean, this guy is seriously a genius.

Touched a nerve there I see.

Bucket said:

1) You have too much time on your hands.
2) I don't know what kinds of girls those lines work on, but I think simply pulling your pants down would have the same rate of success.

You're missing it - I did point out at the start of that post that it was simply an e-mail I got. I merely copy/pasted it into the thread :P I'd agree with 1 to a point though.

Johnny saidLean in kind of close to her face, squint, and say "Hey, close your eyes for a sec. You've got an eyelash." Innocent enough, so she'll oblige without giving it a second thought. You then put your hand on her cheek with your thumb by her eye like you're going to brush it off, but instead swoop in and plant one on her. Right on the lips! When she opens her eyes all surprised like, smile at her for a moment and then walk away. Come back in 10 minutes or so and I guarantee you'll be greeted with an "OMG! I was just telling Stacy about your eyelash thing!"

Having read that I just had to give it a go on a girl I was pretty much with anyway - I think she appreciated the sheer audacity of it, but she did also point out that it wasn't all that good really. She actually preferred some of the childish lines from the list, or indeed just the fine art of turning everything into a come-on. Being a sudent is rather fun on the chat-up front actually!



Oh, and sorry 40oz! I have to admit I didn't notice the part in the first post about avoiding lists when I first read the thread. Upon re-reading I did realise my error but it was a bit late. :(

Is there a mirror in your pants, because I see me in them.

DuckReconMajor said:

The women down here [basement] aren't nearly as stuck up.

Hmm... This reminds me of that "Downfall" film, what with you and other citizens, some female, living in a bunker.

Starke Von Oben said:

Touched a nerve there I see.

No, really! You genuinely seem to know a lot about getting women to have sex with you! I bet you are constantly banging. How do you make the time to post!?

Nomad said:

No, really! You genuinely seem to know a lot about getting women to have sex with you! I bet you are constantly banging. How do you make the time to post!?

I'm sorry you find attracting the opposite sex such a chore, and believe it unfathomable and ridiculous even to suppose that others do not share in your squalid predicament.

My sympathies.

The only advice I can humbly suggest is to go out more, and as often as possible. Find a crowd of girls within your social structure and fuck them all - including the ugly ones. Women are jealous by nature and love to compete, and you'll be whacking them off before long. It will involve a lot of drama, slaps in the face and the usual temper tantrums but I guarantee you an outstanding success.

Protip: don't argue incessantly with girls as you do with people on the net, because that'll just make you look like a sexually immature sociopath incapable of forming solid relationships.

See ya!

Someone can't recognize obvious sarcasm!

Someone can't recognize someone recognizing obvious sarcasm!

That or I can't recognize someone recognizing someone recognizing obvious sarcasm.

Starke Von Oben said:

The only advice I can humbly suggest is to go out more, and as often as possible. Find a crowd of girls within your social structure and fuck them all - including the ugly ones. Women are jealous by nature and love to compete, and you'll be whacking them off before long. It will involve a lot of drama, slaps in the face and the usual temper tantrums but I guarantee you an outstanding success.

Are you serious? You make it sound quite easy.

Nomad said:

Someone can't recognize obvious sarcasm!

That was quick!

protip: Don't seem this eager when in the company of women - overeagerness is an instant turn off. Play it cool... ;)

printz said:

Are you serious? You make it sound quite easy.

I am deadly serious, and the best thing is that it gets easier the older you get :D

DuckReconMajor said:

Someone can't recognize someone recognizing obvious sarcasm!

That or I can't recognize someone recognizing someone recognizing obvious sarcasm.

Or - someone's looking for an argument <Captain Obvious strikes again>

Starke is better at picking up forum arguments than girls...


Similar to e^x, I always liked "I wish I were your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves..."

or

"That shirt looks very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too!"


:)

I'm not usually fond of flat argumentum ad hominem, but Starke you are an idiot.

GreyGhost said:

Or - someone's looking for an argument <Captain Obvious strikes again>

Nomad is always looking for arguments, and when he fails to muster one of any real significance resorts to flames of the most ignoble and petty nature.

'The more you struggle, the more this will hurt'

'Look over there, I'm totally not going to drug you!'

"Hello how are you?"

"Fine."

"Hey, I didn't ask you how you looked!"

Unfortunately that only works if they give you that exact response. I suppose it could work for "great" or "good" but it wouldn't be as nice. That's one to keep in mind though in case it does happen.

Starke Von Oben said:

Nomad is always looking for arguments, and when he fails to muster one of any real significance resorts to flames of the most ignoble and petty nature.

Protip: Just because I'm the only one saying it, doesn't mean I'm the only one thinking it.

How did a pickup line thread turn into an argument O.O

Anyways:

[1337]
Girl, you overclock my heart.

You defragment my life.

You have nicer legs than an Isosceles right triangle. :D :P ;D
[/1337]

I would imagine one of the worst ways to attempt to pick up a girl would be to drop the phrase, "Protip" into the conversation.

Example: "Wanna guess why I have a shovel? Protip: Because I'm digging you."

r_rr said:

How did a pickup line thread turn into an argument O.O

Protip: Welcome to Doomworld!

Starke Von Oben said:

That was quick!

twss

I have one really crude one

"Would my mussle look good in you?"

Starke Von Oben said:

I am deadly serious, and the best thing is that it gets easier the older you get :D

It's not that easy, really. I've asked dozens and dozens of girls out in my life and have only ever been on one official date. It does seem to get a bit easier, but at the same time it's gotten to the point where ever girl in my age range is married. :|

Nomad said:

Protip: Welcome to Doomworld!

Doomworld used to not adhere to the same rules as Fark. :|

Danarchy said:

It's not that easy, really. I've asked dozens and dozens of girls out in my life and have only ever been on one official date. It does seem to get a bit easier, but at the same time it's gotten to the point where ever girl in my age range is married. :|

Like I said earlier, it's all about finding a social group or a niche that you can dominate in as an alpha male. I know that sounds utterly chauvinistic but it's true.

That's how it's always been throughout human history. When you see a guy who looks like he's good at picking up girls he's only so good insofar they are within his social group or reach. When you discover what yours is there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to exploit it like everyone else does.

For a start the girls I were going with were not the type who would be married, nor were they type type you would take home to see your parents. It's all about finding your niche and exploiting it.

My niche? Rock/Indie/Goth/Alternative chicks - we had similar musical interests, we could hang out at the same clubs and we were into the same narcotics and weekend frolics. I'm not claiming to be some super-sex-god who can have any woman I want, I can't. But I know within that narrow spectrum of women I nearly always have a pretty good chance of boning or "dating" them.

Getting obvious sluts to sleep with you is hardly an accomplishment.

Nomad said:

Getting obvious sluts to sleep with you is hardly an accomplishment.

Oh I do apologize, I had no idea you were still a virgin.

Ya'll should get married, you get along perfectly.

I've found that the easiest and quickest way to the vagina is through heart, so I don't use pickup lines. Instead I tell her what she wants to hear, even if I don't mean it, which is 90% of the time.