The dreaded "S" word!

darknation said:

use vic's vapo rub as an alternative to lube.

I just now remember that really good faux rape tutorial Andrew made many-a year a go. Something a long the line 'screw foreplay, that's why God created Vaseline?'

I think it was Andrew...

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All I'm gunna say is when eating pussy, all you have to do is focus on on constantly licking the clit. And make sure you don't get trapped in the friend zone.

which ever comes first.

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Kontra Kommando said:

All I'm gunna say is when eating pussy, all you have to do is focus on on constantly licking the clit. And make sure you don't get trapped in the friend zone.

which ever comes first.

Lick? Rule of thumb: Go down on a clit like you are sucking a dick.

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Technician said:

Lick? Rule of thumb: Go down on a clit like you are sucking a dick.


I always just punched it as hard as I could until she said she was finished?

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Technician said:

Lick? Rule of thumb: Go down on a clit like you are sucking a dick.


That would need to be a clit stricken with elephantiasis for that to be possible.

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This thread went from amusing to awkward rather quickly. I blame Ralphis.

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Technician said:

Lick? Rule of thumb: Go down on a clit like you are sucking a dick.

Sneaking into my elementary school locker room and getting strangled with jump rope seems like a lot of work.

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Ralphis said:

I always just punched it as hard as I could until she said she was finished?

Pshh, I've learned you'll get further iff you stroke it gently. Stroke it into submision.....then stab it. Stab it violently.

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I remember just ejaculating into my hand and flinging it like snot into the nearest wall some years ago. Stopped doing that when the wallpaper got all crusty and there were noticeable brown streaks of dried cum on it. Passed it off to my mother as 'moisture seeping through the wall from outside'. She didn't buy it for a second but I left it at that.

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How has this thread so stealthily avoided the maw of PH?

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DoomUK said:

How has this thread so stealthily avoided the maw of PH?


Because it is a useful contribution to the forum.

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DoomUK said:

How has this thread so stealthily avoided the maw of PH?

Imaginative foreplay?

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GreyGhost said:

Imaginative foreplay?

I see what you did there.

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I have the distinct feeling this thread is head straight to hell. Just like all of us.

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stewboy said:

Because it is a useful contribution to the forum.


Not like UAC Ultra 2 apparently.

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The thread is still on the precarious boundary of usefulness/uselessness. Plus, the mods may be enjoying watching GoatLord squirm. :3

Speaking of sexual experience, I was a virgin by choice until 21. In retrospect I could've waited even longer, but I don't regret my decision as I made a really good friend, one that's stuck with me (albeit platonically now) for almost a decade.

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schwerpunk said:

The thread is still on the precarious boundary of usefulness/uselessness. Plus, the mods may be enjoying watching GoatLord squirm. :3

Probably also an element of morbid curiosity, to see what sort of sick weirdos are loitering around the forums. ;-)

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Additionally, if there was ever a thread to fish around for embarrassing custom titles, this is it, lol. ^^

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I'm imagining me with an "I blame Ralphis" title right now. X-D

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GoatLord said:

I wonder if I'm the last virgin on here.

Well I know for certain you aren't.

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GoatLord said:

I wonder if I'm the last virgin on here. There. I contributed, I guess.


Can one lose virginity to inanimate objects?

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Clonehunter said:

Can one lose virginity to inanimate objects?

Etymologically, no. Going by what the dictionary has to say about "virginity" and "sexual intercourse", gay men who have never had sex with a woman are virgins; lesbians who have never been penetrated by a penis are virgins.

But the real world isn't a dictionary. If a man or a woman have never had sex with someone of the other gender, but don't call themselves virgins, I say your hand, or a sock, or a fleshlight, or whatever, are just as much valid receptacles for your penis as a vagina. Seeing as sex is more often done for recreational purposes than for reproductive ones (the multi-trillion dollar contraception industry attests to this), reaching orgasm is the name of the game, and it shouldn't matter what you're putting your cock inside to determine the status of your virginity.

p.s. Yes, I know you were joking. But I think it's an interesting topic all the same.

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GoatLord said:

I'm betting that while not the only virgin here, I'm very likely the oldest.

Have you hit wizard status yet?

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Clonehunter said:

Can one lose virginity to inanimate objects?


Sorry, but all the pillowfucking in the world isn't going to verse you in laying the ladies. Hah I'd love to be a fly on the wall during that first-date conversation.

"So tell me about your last girlfriend?"
"Well I dated my first girl for several years, she was a great listener and I did this thing with her zipper that would make her crazy..." Hahahaha!

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Justince said:

Sorry, but all the pillowfucking in the world isn't going to verse you in laying the ladies. Hah I'd love to be a fly on the wall during that first-date conversation.

"So tell me about your last girlfriend?"
"Well I dated my first girl for several years, she was a great listener and I did this thing with her zipper that would make her crazy..." Hahahaha!

Well, social etiquette and dating rituals are a much more complicated affair, which have nothing to do with the definition of losing one's virginity.

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