Web Radio Geek
OPTIMIST: The glass is half full.
PESSIMIST: The glass is half empty.
FUTURIST: The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.
PASCAL PROGRAMMER: Well, what type of milk is it?
C PROGRAMMER: No thanks, I drink straight from the jug.
ASSEMBLY PROGRAMMER: No thanks, I drink straight from the cow.
BASIC PROGRAMMER: No thanks, I'm still breast feeding.
FUZZY LOGIC GUY: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.
PENTIUM USER: I drank Glass # .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.
WINDOWS USER: Where my straw?
MAC USER: Where's my pump?
UNIX USER: Nahh... too easy.
SHAREWARE GAME AUTHOR: That glass is free, the next one you have to pay for.
CIA: What makes you think that's milk?
COPY PROTECTION CRAZY: Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!
BILL GATES: Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.
APPLE COMPUTER: You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.
NATIONAL NEWS MEDIA: Hey, we wanted OJ!!!
Schizofrenic - The glass is half empty. The glass is half full.
Irishman - Why the feck isn't the glass full of Guinness?
Physicist - The glass has reached its midpoint in terms of capacity.
Confucius - Perhaps it is not the glass which we percieve as half empty or half full, but it is in fact the liquid in the glass occupying a certain amount of space IN the galss which we percieve.
Nilist - There is no glass
Holocaust Denier - There was never any glass to begin with ,and the notion that it contains any water whatsoever is absurd.
Grandfather - Back in my day, we were lucky to have a paper cup!
Jewish Mother - That's OK honey...i'll just sit here without water.
George W Bush - What's a glass?
Al Gore - I invented the glass.
Bill Clinton - That's not water in that glass!
Rapper - The water up in the Gliz-azz be all up in my grill, What-WAAAT!
Bob Dylan - If it weren't for "the man", my glass would be full.
Product Development: The glass is too big.
Marketing: The TurboGlass (tm) is the perfect balance between fullness and emptiness, guaranteed to bring a measure of harmony to anyone who owns one.
Sales: If you'd like the glass filled, we're running a special today.
Technical Support: Yes, it is supposed to be that way. No, ma'am, it's not a bug. Really!
PR: The company announces the release of Glass 96 (tm), the first glass on the market with the most spillable portion of the water pre-consumed. "I'm proud to be affiliated with such a forward-thinking company," said the Company's President.
Graphic Design: Can I redraw the glass? Please?
Documentation: If you fill it the rest of the way, it will be more user-friendly.
Training: No, hold the glass with the other hand. Now lift it gently to your lips...
Operations: Hasn't anyone shipped that glass yet?
Hardware: Keep that glass away from the computer!
Quality Assurance: Hand me that hammer, please.
Finance: That glass will hold more beans if we dump the water out first.
Administration: Hand me that glass, will ya? I'm thirsty.
Front Desk: I'm sorry. The glass is in a meeting right now.
Cribbed from three different sites, I'm sorry.
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