Weird Dreams

fucking a couch and then it blew up

There is a moral in there someplace...

OK, yesterday, the night of my birthday, I was graced with two dreams. These weren't my regular boring I-wanna-wake-up stuff. In fact, they were so incredibly humilliating that I can't force myself to write them down.

[chant] WRITE IT! WRITE IT! WRITE IT! WRITE IT![/chant]



I wrote my wierdass dream. Even if it's about couchfucking with your dad it'll still only be mildly embarassing, like pissing on the toilet seat or something

Zaldron said:

OK, yesterday, the night of my birthday, I was graced with two dreams. These weren't my regular boring I-wanna-wake-up stuff. In fact, they were so incredibly humilliating that I can't force myself to write them down.

Happy birthday

Well thanks.

But no, I won't post it. However I'll tell you Ralphis made a cameo appareance. That should be enough.

fodders said:

Happy birthday

Same here, dude.

Heh...in all the confusion of the past 4 days, I completely forgot about that.

I posted this in the general forum once, but here it goes again...

I was in a minivan, and this fat spanish dude who's in my grade was driving, except he was a shitty driver and had no idea where he was going. We were trying to get to this party at my school, except there was no school, only a big mansion.

Anyway, he didn't know where he was going, so we drove past this big, ruined church that in reality doesn't exist. He asked what that was and I told him the name of a church in Greenfield. Then he was like "where's Greenfield," and I pointed in the totally opposite direction and said "over there." Then this pothead in my grade popped out of the back seat and was like "Yeah, over there!" then just disappeared.

Then we pulled over at the park and walked until we got to this elevator that was just sitting there. I went in and it took me into this underground apartment complex, and I was supposed to find my baseball coach's son or something. But I didn't know which room was his, so I started knocking on every single door. Each room contained someone I knew, and finally I found his room and his dad was like "He's not here. Practice is cancelled."

So we got back in the car and kept driving, and then we finally got to the mansion thing where the school was supposed to be, and I got out but the spanish kid kept going real slow, and pulled over and pinned me against a wall. Then he got out and left me pinned there, and I was like "hey, where the fuck you going?" but he just walked into the party and I had to squirm free. I went inside and these cops or something followed me. They kept questioning people and glancing in my direction. Then one person pointed at me, and I knew they were after me for some reason.

So, I left the party and ran down the street, somehow ending up in a neighborhood that's all the way across the city. They kept chasing me, but I outran them each time till I came to the edge of this cliff and they captured me and knocked me out.

When I woke up, I was in this jail cell at the top of a tower. It was unlocked, so I escaped and went down this hidden staircase and found out I was in my grandparents house, which is really big and has a bunch of back passageways and shit. So anyway, went down to the balcony over the first floor and there were tons of people milling around, it looked like some sort of formal party. Then I saw the cops for the first time and I realized they were my cousins.

They saw me, and began chasing me, through the kitchen, up a back stairway, into a lounge, through a secret passage in a fireplace, through my grandparents' bedroom, and then out a secret door into some sort of conservatory (which definately doesn't exist). They finally caught me there and put me back in the jail cell thing but left it unlocked again.

So I left the room, but this time I explored the rest of the tower. After a bunch of storage rooms, I found another unlocked door, and it was like a lavish hotel suite or something with a dozen skimpily clad hot chicks...I think you know where it went from there.


I've had tons more dreams that I can remember, but the majority of them really get to me and scare the shit out of me, or else make me incredibly depressed and sad, but I'm if you all read them you'd just be like WTF, so I won't post them.

I'm one of those people who have those dreams were you wake up in a in cold sweat, screaming sometimes, but for the love of god, I don't know why. Sometimes, I’ll get up and run out of my bedroom slam and hold the door shut, or even worse, jump out of the window! One time I knocked over a CD rack. Fortunately, theses dreams are very rare, but I did have one on a school camp once.

I worrid that stuff like this is going to stop me from joining the air force...

Ct_red_pants said:

I worrid that stuff like this is going to stop me from joining the air force...

You want to join the air force?
Don't you know what pilots have to go through or the 'torture' they must endure?

Ct_red_pants said:

I worrid that stuff like this is going to stop me from joining the air force...

Uh, your writing should probably be your first worry in getting into the air force :P

DSM: Who said anything about being a pilot?

Lüt: Yes... I know... I Really am working on it.

Sorry my bad, it's just that whenever someone mentions "the air force" I automatically think "jet pilots".
Glad you don't seem to want to be a jet pilot, 'cause the tests they have to go through can make you prematurely "old" if you understand what I mean.

Heh. I did want to be a Fighter pilot when I was 12... But to much doom made me to weak and stupid... oh well ;)

Being stupid is no bar to being a USAAF pilot :)

dsm said:

Glad you don't seem to want to be a jet pilot, 'cause the tests they have to go through can make you prematurely "old" if you understand what I mean.

Heh are they the ones that do the Mach 3 flying tests and stuff?

What a wonderful way to be - arthritis at the age of thirty.
Those kinds of manouvers can't be good for the frail skeletal structure of a mere human being.
If we were supposed to fly, we'd have been given wings (and before people jump on me citing technological evolution... I'M JOKING).

The short list of Relliks weird dreams:

1. Having sex on the counter of a bar... with Jennifer Aniston. :)

2. I dreampt that I woke up, got dressed, made my lunch, got ready for work, (poof!) woke up, got dressed, made my lunch, got ready for work, (poof!) woke up, got dressed, made my lunch, got ready for work, (poof!) woke up, got dressed, made my lunch, got ready for work, (poof!) four bloody times! When I finally woke up for real I couldn't be sure wether or not I was still dreaming. It was pretty fucked.

3. I'm in my front yard and I see this compact car drive slowly by. It pulls up to my neighbors who are sitting in lawnchairs right next to the street. The drive promptly shoots them all to death. As I watch I see him notice me and start to back towards me. I run to the other neighbors house and run inside to get help. I find the two owners downstairs on their computer. I try to tell them a bunch of people just got killed and the killers coming, but all they want to talk about is their Russian Lada! Finally I give up on the two idiots. I walk out of the room and head back to the stairs. I get to the stairs (they are on my right). I notice out of hte corner of my eye a pair of feet at the top of the stairs. Before I can even turn to face the stairs I hear the very beginning of a very loud bang. The sound is cut off very short though. My head jerks hard as the bullet blows through it, there is silence and all my thoughts stop and I just look peacefully out of my eyes as I fall to the floor...

4. I'm falling, falling, fallling, then as teh ground nears I can see that I'm going to land right on a chain link fence. then I notice my legs are spread wide and I can't close them. I start to scream like Ned Flanders....

5. Heh, in a dream I had recently I was trying to convince people to buy this new animal as a livestock animal for their ranches. THe animal was about 14 feet tall, with the body of a chicken, and the head of a tyrranosaurus rex. Then their was a chicken neck and head growing out of the end of the T-Rex's nose....

6. (this one was when I was a kid) I'm sitting on my moms bed and she's telling me how to fold my clothes and how to work the washer and dryer. I know she's not really there, that she's already dead and that she's just here to tell me what I need to know to keep living. It was so, undramatic, so matter-of-fact, when I woke up I was emotionally just crushed.

7. It's the middle of the night in a pastry shop long after its closed. It's all dark and shadows. I am some kind of pastry running from a Freddy Krueger who is also a pastry.

8. I am in a flooded town swimming like hell trying to stay away from these floating blue bottles. I know that if they get close they will rip me apart like piranha.


I also have recurring dreams about underground rivers that I see rushing past down a hole in the ground or floor and I'm always terrified I'll fall in.

Man when I was younger my dreams were just insane, every single one just bizzarre. Now that I'm 26, I seldom dream anything weird... :(

Wish I had more of those weird dreams, they f**king rock :)

1. Walking through my home town in my pyjamas and suddenly being swepped off into space by a giant soap bubble tornado.

2. Me and my friends running trough something that looks like an Unreal Tournament level, picking up weird powerups.

3. Falling down a huge Niagara-style waterfall right in the middle of my own backyard. Consider the fact that my backyard is about 200 square feet.

4. Chasing some naked chick on a horse, then finding out she's actually a guy. I actually had this dream a couple times a few years back; I'm sure it has some deep psychological meaning but I'm afraid to think about it.

5. I'm sitting at a table and Jeff Goldblum explains to me how a model volcano works. Weirdest of all, he's gesturing at me constantly with his 4ft long robotic arms.

6. I'm pretty sure I had a dream about deadnail last week, but (un)fortunately I can't remember any details.

That's about all I can remember right now...

Spike said:

What a wonderful way to be - arthritis at the age of thirty.

Heh...try eighteen. If this stiffness becomes pain, I'm going to have to see a doctor pretty soon.

the_Danarchist said:

Heh...try eighteen. If this stiffness becomes pain, I'm going to have to see a doctor pretty soon.

Try seventeen. I've been to the doctor, but it still gets stiff as hell and hurts a lot. I have to stick my whole arm in hot water every morning and move my fingers around before I do anything with my hands.

Yeah, that sucks...I have a bunch of friends my age with arthritis too...maybe its some kind of groing epidemic or something...nah.

Once, when puberty was just beginning to really kick in I had this dream where a 3 metres tall ugly brown teddy bear with flappy ears was running of with my girlfriend just in front of my nose. Do I really need to tell that the teddy-bear also had a one metre long dick?

The weird thing was that I didn't have a girlfriend at that time.

Holy crap, I just had the scariest dream last night! When I went on the internet and went to Doomworld, it said ERROR 404, THIS SITE DOESN'T EXSIST!!! I screamed and I was hopeless. Thank god that's only a dream. But what if it DID happen?!? I'd hate that... :(

the_Danarchist said:

Yeah, that sucks...I have a bunch of friends my age with arthritis too...maybe its some kind of groing epidemic or something...nah.

Carpal Tunnel (sp?) also really sucks. I have that ON TOP OF arthritis.

Smokebox said:

Carpal Tunnel (sp?) also really sucks. I have that ON TOP OF arthritis.

Yeh I have that :( Can only usually play one DM level, then have to rest

Ah, the wonders of wristpads =)

My hands are pretty much okay, but I've really fucked up my right hip after all these years of sports, so I'm gonna need a cane by the time I'm like 20.

Archvile64 said:

Ah, the wonders of wristpads =)

My hands are pretty much okay, but I've really fucked up my right hip after all these years of sports, so I'm gonna need a cane by the time I'm like 20.

This is the place for you :)

fodders said:

Yeh I have that :( Can only usually play one DM level, then have to rest

I usually do okay playing games unless it's something that involves a lot of mouse moving (System Shock), then I have to stop and let my hand rest.