Laughter Is The Best Medicine

"Duke, you have saved the world and (the town I live in) again! What are you gonna do now?"

Duke lights a cigar and says, "I'm gonna go jack off." Then walks away with a cocky pep in his step. The newscaster freaks out and fumbles with the microphone and the dream ends.

DOOM: Repurcussions of CyberBullying
John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons "I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon

But something was different! The demons weren't overjoyed at the sight of the behemoth, and John wasn't ready to kill him, they were.. They were all laughing at him!

"He looks like a fucking rock troll!!" Said the imps

"Huhuhu look at that dumbass!" Said the Archvile

"And I thought I was fat" Said the Mancubus. "You are fat dumbass" Said the pinky. "Yeah but he looks like 2 million pounds"! "Mancubus, you are 2 BILLION pounds." "Shut up pinky pie >:("

4 rivers of tears ran down the ogre's face as the demons, and John (who is now a zombie), all laughed at the hunchback. "Why do you all hate me ::( " roared the cyberdemon

"Because you're ugly!!" Said the hell knigh. "Look whose talking butt-face" snorted the baron. "Hey fuck you turd sniffer >B(" then all the demons fought eachother while the cyberdemon ran home.


Back at the Tower of Babel, the cyberdemon lies on the floor crying, too fat to shoot the lost souls who fly above him and mock his appearance, he then decides life is too much for him. He begins to raise his canon arm into his mouth when he hears "NO STOP"

The cyberdemon turns to see executive producer of the new doom(tm) Marty Sratton running to his rescue.
"What do you want", "I've come here to tell you that you have too much to live for! Besides you'll only be revived by an Arch-Vile to be made fun of even more." "But why is life worth living for when you live in misery, I know what I must do know, I must kill them all, even those fucking ogres!!" "No cyber, you are the ogres."

The snarky comment makes the cyberdemon loose it, he then commits suicide. But alas he is in hell, so he can't really die.

He now walks the earth, teaching children about the dangers of cyberbullying, along with Steven Sagal, Ronald McDonald, Tobuscus, and that one dude from Breaking Bad. But one day all the children laugh at him, so he kills them. The sudden outburst of evil causes him to loose like a shit ton of pounds, the harvesting of the children's souls cause him to get super fucking shredded as well. "HEAVEN YEAH, IM GONNA RETURN TO HELL AND SHOW THOSE CYBERBULLIES WHOSE BOSS.

He then returns to hell to show those cyber bullies whose boss, much to his dismay, he sees all the demons (minus the mancubus, who died of diabetus) all large, fat, and hunched. " What the full happened here!!" "Being fat is the new cool here in hell, gtfo meat head." Said the demons. "I WILL SHOOT AT YOU" Said the cyber demon, but the ceiling fell and they all died, but they were like resurrected and shit, also they were all given perfect bodies, minus the cyberdemon, who now looks like a halo grunt. The end.