Doomguy stepped into a teleporter and emerged in the middle of a small room. Mutilated dead bodies were chained to the walls. A gigantic pile of weapons covered the floor.
One of the corpses on the wall turned his head and whispered: "Don't go there... monsters will eat you". His head dropped.
Doomguy stuffed the weapons into his backpack, considered the advice, and had to reject it, because the room had only one exit. Cautiously he entered the white teleporter.
He was in a great hall; the walls were covered with slime. Right in front of him, huge demon face was painted on the wall. The face blinked at him and said: "niS fo nocI ,em llik ot evah uoy ,emag eht niw oT". And smiled, bastard.
Doomguy could only make out the first part of the message: "niS of nocI", but even that made him shiver. He took out the BFG and fired. Some paint burned. The face blinked again.
"!nrut ym woN" - said the Icon of Sin. A small cube flew out of its brain. It reached the ground and turned into an imp. Imp looked around, obviously confused. Doomguy shot him down.
"!tey enod ton m'I" - continued the face, and fired another cube. Right beside the Doomguy it bumped into the ground and turned into a bowl of petunias. "tihs hO", said the face, "!tnaem I tahw ton s'taht" And fired another cube.
A naked woman emerged from the cube. "Take me" - she whispered into Doomguy's ear. "But remember: clitori don't have lips!!!"
Doomguy took out his chainsaw....
- skip three pages of pure porno -
...watching her body dissolve in radioctive slime. Then he turned to the face and fired the BFG once more. Nothing happened, so he went to find the switch. He knew there should be one. The face fired some more cubes at him, but they only popped and disappeared.
He found the switch and flipped it; an elevator rose before the face. He went down, lowered the elevator and waited for it to rise again.
...Now he was so close to the face he could smell its foul breath.
- Now that you're here, we can finally talk - said the face.
- Talk? About what? I just have to kill you!
- No, first we'll talk. Remember that cyberdemon you killed on level 20?
- He was my FATHER! And remember that spider mastermind you killed on the same level?
- She was my MOTHER!! Now I'll kill you, you sick fuck!
- But who ARE you? - wondered the Doomguy.
- Oh, you don't even know who I AM! I am the Icon! The Icon of Sin! The holy trinity of Painted Face, Boss Shooter and John Romero's Head On A Stick!
- Cool - said Doomguy and shot some rockets into Icon's brain. The Icon exploded.
Now Doomguy was trapped. He killed the big badass, but now he had nowhere to go! No magic portal appeared for him, no secret doors opened, nobody came to take him home! He ran madly around the level trying to find the exit. He ran and ran, in circles.....
After three days he couldn't stand it anymore. He took his super shotgun. Put it in his mouth. And pulled the trigger, thinking that he did save the Earth after all, that he will be remember forever as the savior of the planet...
...Everything went red, blurred and then became clear again. He stood in the middle of a small room, holding his pistol. Mutilated dead bodies were chained to the walls. A gigantic pile of weapons covered the floor...
If you want to fill in the part I skipped, you're welcome to do so.