As they snapped out of the haze, Astewart41 walked in, drinking some coffee.
Archvile64 turned to Astewart41, and said, "Where'd you get that coffee?"
Astewart41 said, "I found it in the armory, weirdest fucking place for it, doncha think?"
Archvile64 suddenly started to gag, and turned away.
"What?" Inquired Astewart41.
"Do you know Macvilewhore does to his coffee?"
"I don't think this is his special sauce blend," replied Astewart41.
As soon as he said it, Astewart41 suddenly gagged and threw up everywhere, after reading the label on the coffee mug:
"DANGER: CONTAMINATED URINE SPECIMENS IN COFFEE, USE ONLY FOR RALPHIS AND EXECUTOR666, AND OTHER SPAMMING WORTHLESS MORONS. -MACVILEWHORE®-"
Astewart41 was feeling dizzy.
"You okay?" Inquired Archvile64.
"I don't know, replied Astewart41," and amended "Yeah, I'm fine, just let me go stick my finger in my throat and gag it out.."
(Ten minutes later, Astewart41 walks back out of the bathroom, looking considerably more slender, the entire gang gasps as they see Astewart41 almost looks like one of them food-deprivated Ethiopian people)
"What?" Asked Astewart41.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" Exclaimed BigBadGangsta, "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!" He continued.
"I drank some Macvilewhore® coffee, the contaminated stuff, beats the fuck outta that Stacker II shit!"
Suddenly, Lüt broke through yet another window.
"I got them out!" Shouted Lüt.
"Got who out?" Inquired Astewart41?
"The guys, ya know?!" Exclaimed Lüt, exasperated.
"Guys? What? What the hell is going on here? I just came in here to post my progress on my "Fortress: Eye Of Evil" project and...."
(Astewart41 notices the door to Post Hell glowing a radiant bright green, and opens it)
"HOLY SHIT!!!" Exclaims Astewart41, eyes wide with surprise.
"Yeah, quite a mess in there, eh?" Says Linguica, as he enters the room.
Macvilewhore enters the room, carrying what appears to be a drum that would be used to power a Vulcan Cannon on an F-14 TOMCAT, only that it has two very lagre pots of coffee in the top.
"Heheheheh. What's up guys?" Asked Mac, covered in green slime and demon entrails.
"Uhhh... Not much... Is that the kind of shit you put in the armory to use against the stupid useless troll spamming morons?" Asked Astewart41.
"Yeah, hope you didn't drink some!" Said Mac, in a worried voice.
"WELL WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW DO YOU THINK I LOST 62 POUNDS IN 10 MINUTES?!" Screamed Astewart41.
"Oh... M-M-My... Go-God..." Stammered Mac as he noticed Astewart41's considerably leaner figure.
"FUCK JENNY CRAIG! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Exclaims an excited Macvilewhore, and then continued "I think I should set up franchises with this shit!"
Linguica broke the chit-chat and hands Astewart41 his favorite weapon from ICD-DDF, the SIG-COW Infantry Rifle with Double Bayonets, and some C4, Grenades, and two Colt .45 Caliber handguns.
"You aware of the situation?" Asked Ling.
"Nope, I just came on to post my progress about EYE OF EVIL." Replied Astewart41.
"We're going up against Executor666 and the other jizzwads that take the fun out of li-, I mean, the DW forums." Continued Linguica.
"SWEET JESUS! GOOD! WHAT CAN I DO?!" Asked Astewart41.
"As far as I'm concerned, you can kill them all yourself," replied Linguica, "Your mission, should you accept it, is to plant C4 Charges on the support structures of EXECUTOR666's domain, and detonate them from a safe distance... BOOM!"
"Anyone coming with me?" Asked Astewart41, in a worried tone.
"Nope, this is a one man mission for you, you're our saboteur, part of the mission depends on you, the next assault will be against a bunch of Warez sites owners, which will be directed by Mordeth." Said Ling.
"Sounds good, can I fight in that one too?" Asked Astewart41, excitedly.
"If you're still alive, yes!" Replied Ling.
Astewart41 gulped and swallowed the lump in his throat, and put on his body armor, and strapped his gear.
(Okay, now it's your turn to decide Astewart41's - I mean, my fate, people... :D)