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Canofbacon

3 Wishes

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Ability to fly

All the wealth I want

immortality i can end whenever I want by some unique way so I dont do it unintentionally

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One day a man went out with his horse for a little trip through the forest. A couple of hours later, they were completely lost. He tried everything - the stars, the nearest rivers, the horse's natural intuition... nothing worked. Days, weeks, months passed, with the man becoming increasingly frustrated by his bad luck. As time passed, the man started to feel nostalgic about his old life: his family, his Sunday afternoons with a cold beer watching football, his friends..., but even more, his sex life. So, with no human beings in miles, he started looking at the horse (if you know what I mean). Every time they stopped, the man started to create a mound with mud behind the horse (it was to tall for the man's... private parts), but as soon as the horse noticed the man's intentions, it instantly ran away to avoid that unwelcome faith. This happened at least a dozen times, but the man refused to give up - after all, it was his sex life at stake. One day, after spending the whole day trying to make his thing, he suddenly found an old oil lamp. He took it and inadvertently rub it. A genie appeared, and said to the man: "You have freed me from my eternal prison. As a reward, I'll concede you three wishes". The man started to think carefully (he didn't want to fuck up like so many other bastards in other jokes). "OK", said the man, "My first wish is to have a million dollars". Almost instantly, a million bucks appeared in front of him, carefully stacked inside an elegant suitcase. "My second wish is to have a comprehensive map of this forest, so I can get the hell out of here". The map appeared instantly next to his new-earned cash. "What's your third wish?", asked the genie. "Stop that fucking horse".

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Kontra Kommando said:

Youthful immortality

indestructibility

god-like intellegence


Pretty much this. In fact, I will be depressed until this happens. Granted, I'm not so thrilled by the third wish there, so I'll change that too Mad Doom Skills or Transformation, like Beast Boy or something.

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Ability to turn invisible and/or incorporeal at will

Too much money

Something nice for everyone so that I wouldn't seem like an entirely selfish prick even though I probably am one.

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1:the ability to live forever without getting older
2:a complete copy of duke nukem forever from 2001
3:the ability to time travel

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Doominator2 said:

1:the ability to live forever without getting older
2:a complete copy of duke nukem forever from 2001
3:the ability to time travel


Oh dear. I'm not sure I could spend my newfound eternity (wish 1) dealing with the fact that I'd wasted one of my three wishes (wish 2) by gaining the means to acquire the desired item via time travel anyway (wish 3). I guess there'd be a lot of repeated attempts involved, but Bill Murray managed to get what he wanted well enough in Groundhog Day so I think it's plausible enough.

Oh, my wishes?

A Lion Bar and a Pepperami. And a complete copy of Duke Nukem Forever from 2001.

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1. A lifetime supply of beer.
2. All of my favorite bands getting together to throw a special festival for my 20th birthday this year.
3. A girlfriend.

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A job where I could sit alone in an office and make Doom levels, perhaps with a few other Doomers also making levels in adjacent cubicles or something. Something like the early days of id-software, except with a steady pay rate and no incentive for expansion.

To be able to prepare and eat food without making any dirty dishes.

An ipod that can hold all my music without having any faulty software, bugs, a battery that burns out, or slows down for any particular reason. I JUST WANT TO HAVE MY MUSIC ON THE GO.

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40oz said:

An ipod that can hold all my music without having any faulty software, bugs, a battery that burns out, or slows down for any particular reason. I JUST WANT TO HAVE MY MUSIC ON THE GO.

Get a cheap Samsung mp3 player. Job done, except the battery will need charging every few days instead of every 3 hours.

1. Long, happy lives for my family and everyone we care about.
2. To have more money than any of us could spend, even with large donations to good causes.
3. I'll think about this one.

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1- Infinite knowledge (discover the way to teleport things in real life just by thinking about the two words "quantum physics")
2- The power to control life (spawn a cool sport car in front of my house)
3- The power to copy stuff by touching it (like Jesus made with bread, but I'm going to do it with cash)

I don't like the idea of immortality, it must be too boring to live for such a long time.

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1. Humanity has greater empathy/sympathy for each other.
2. Humanity has greater intelligence.
3. That each person has the resources needed to successfully pursue their dreams.

I'd be pretty happy in a world with that.

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Alfonzo said:

(wish 2) by gaining the means to acquire the desired item via time travel anyway

But the duke nukem forever trailer from 2001 was never a full game, it was just a demo( correct me if im wrong though)

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I would like to make an amendment to my second wish. I want to become indestructible, upon me typing in IDDQD, and remain in God mode forever, in reality. (can't take it off, ever)

Or how about this, my life auto-saves, and every time I die, all of time, goes back to the last save. I will have full recollection of every event.

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1. Be stronger. Not physically handsome, just stronger.
2. Have more time for things. It's just too little as it is.
3. Grow a real, continuous beard, not the patchy thing I have now.

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Kontra Kommando said:

I would like to make an amendment to my second wish. I want to become indestructible, upon me typing in IDDQD, and remain in God mode forever, in reality. (can't take it off, ever)


Why dont you just ask this guy, he seems to have found away :)

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1: The ability of possession.
2: Have no physical body, be something like a spirit (which doubles as invulnerability)
and 3: I would want the ability to create anything I want upon a moments notice, then I can dick around with people whilst having no physical form

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1: A fully functional telephone line (or a linesman who knows what he's doing, it's still not fixed)
2: A credit card with no limits or interest to pay back
3: A brass lamp with a genie trapped inside

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