DooM Comic

This is a comic book Cacho and me are working on. You can see some fast sketches at Jeremy’s web page, I’m not sure about the address but you get redirected from www.doomgalaxy.com

The story takes place with a 7 men platoon, none of them is the doomguy, at the phobos base:
What we want to do is to write this and you guys fix it, so we can make a GOOD comic. (we’ll give the credit to whoever helps here, I promise)

Just to let you know, this dude, Cacho, got a third place on a national comic contest (Ecuador). The theme was a battle between 2 imaginary countries… lots of gore and action scenes. The drawings aren’t uploaded yet, but I’ll post the address as soon as they get’em up.

What I have here is the first page dialogues:

CLOSE TO DAWN, AT A UAC TEST LAB.

-Hey Jones! Check it out, more nerds are coming in… (points at a new transport ship coming in by the bay)
-Shit Miggs, I’m sick of those fucking guys, they are with that : “Top secret” crap. (Moves his head making fun of them)
-Well, what do you want, they are scientists… let’em have fun counting atoms… jeje… (Checking his gun)
-Where the fuck are Colan and Santos? It’s their fucking turn to guard this fucking door, fuck those guys, fuck this door! We don’t even know what is that they are keeping on the other side… fuck this job. (Hitting his head against the window, as the ship docks in)
-Are you done fucking Jones? (smiling)
-……. Fuck you Miggs……. (His head stopped moving)

SAME TIME, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BASE, LEISURE ROOM.

-Hey Bell! Did you see that?! (pointing at the window)
-What? (sips his coffee)
-That green flash!!! (pointing at the window, again)
-Nope, I didn’t. where? (he sips his coffee, doesn’t give a shit what Kaida is saying)
-Outside, on F wing, by the labs… (trying to see through the dark space)
-Ya know something Kai, guarding that door is making you stupid… now you’ll tell me you saw Linguica floating out there… (Tries to get that last drop of coffee out of the cup)
-Lingwhat???? (looks at him with a weirdness expression)
-Forget it, too much coffee. (Throws the styrofoam cup, misses the garbage can)

CAVALIERE ENTERS THE ROOM

CAV: What’s happening on that lab, huh? (points to the door, over his shoulder)
KAIDA: I don’t know, there are a lot of flashes and freaky sounds. (Scratching his head)
BELL: Let’em work, don’t ask… the payment is good. (serves another cup of coffee)
KAIDA: I wanna get out of here, this whole thing is to spooky for me. (Checks the window again)
CAV: What do you mean?
BELL: We’ve seen UAC boxes full or ammo and weapons going into that room… also, have you noticed that the droids have disapeared? (Talking as he puts some sugar on his coffee)
CAV: Well, what do you think is happening there then?
KAIDA: They are testing dangerous shit, I’m sure, I feel it, we are doomed… (he looks worried)
BELL: Here we go again, I told you, they are testing weapons. Easy as that. We are NOT doomed. (Looking at the ceiling)
CAV: huh… wanna play some deathmatch? (pointing a pair of computer terminals on the other side of the room)
KAIDA: Ok, ok, I want to get my mind out of this for a while… are you coming Bell? (setting up the computer)
BELL: No, I’m going to the armory, I left my helmet there.(Checking his watch)

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This is what we have in sketches, post comments and in a couple of weeks, I'll upload the first graphics.

Hmm...if it has crappy writing like the real DOOM comic then I swear, you had better run, far and fast, and always be packing heat......

Hmm...if it has crappy writing like the real DOOM comic then I swear, you had better run, far and fast, and always be packing heat......

Actually, the writing there bears quite a resemblance to the Doom Bible's storyline...

I saw the first DooM comic. It SUCKS!

Be sure this one´s not going to be like that that, the dialogues are it first stage, and are a subject to change...

The story is similar to the Doom Bible, but it really changes after a while.

Change Bell's name to Mac, and everything should be fine.

Why the change from Bell to Mac?

BTW, what do you think of the beggining of the comic?

I, personally, like it.

Some phrases could be fixed, IMO. But the general atmosphere is well defined. Characters, while I know nothing about them, already breath some life.

"Mac" after "MACVILEWHORE". Just check any post of him ^_^

I will post the sketches on sunday... I promise.

Well, not too bad, actually.
I like it.

Why the change from Bell to Mac?

BTW, what do you think of the beggining of the comic?

"Mac" after "MACVILEWHORE". Just check any post of him ^_^

MACVILEWHORE is a total coffee lunatic. He probably cares more about coffee than his mom.(no offense intended)

Other than that, I liked the script.