The /newstuff Chronicles #385

• The Shores of Phil - Philnemba
  Vanilla - Solo Play - 259562 bytes - (img) (img) (img) (img) (img)
  Reviewed by: Kirby
  I would like thank Philnemba for providing what I consider to be a great adaptation of Episode 2, even if it is missing just a couple of levels.
  
  The Shores of Phil (as with just about all things eponymous) refers to its author Philnemba and his 6-level episode inspired by Doom's Episode 2. Despite being cut 3 levels short due to a lack of motivation, this episode does not cease to impress.
  
  It is simply what you'd call someone else's perspective on Doom's Episode 2. Each level offers a somewhat different re-envisioning of the original levels, minus the missing E2M5-E2M7 and the secret level. I found that each level has successfully retained that Episode 2 feel without trying to be too overbearing. What's more is that you could call it "updated". Philnemba also crafted in a great usage of detail, which stands out enough to make you appreciate it but also doesn't press itself upon at every corner you turn.
  
  I identified each level easily with their Episode 2 counterparts, minus the last level "Quadruple Showdown". The E2M8 of this episode decided to move in a different direction than what the "Tower of Babel" originally was, but I would think we are better off for it. It not only looks good but also turns the difficulty up a notch or two for when you finally get to the end, and you have to kill the you-know-what to get to the end.
  
  Do play this one - it easily ranks 4 stars at a minimum and the arena at the end of E2M8 was the cherry on top of the cake (at least for me). Very much worth spending some time on.
  
  
• Icebound - Christopher Lutz
  ZDoom Compatible - Solo Play - 1067772 bytes - (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img)
  Reviewed by: Lawstiker
  This time I had the pleasure of reviewing Christopher Lutz's Icebound level for Heretic, and I must say this was a pleasure. This isn't a good Heretic wad, not even a great Heretic wad, but an absolutely amazing wad for Heretic. This is one of the most well constructed, fun to play and just downright pretty Heretic maps I've played in a very very long time.
  
  Right from the start you can tell a lot of attention to detail and work went into this wad. There were many times I just had to stop and admire the attention to detail and realistic shading. Just about every room I went into I found myself staring in awe at some part of the architectural design of the level.
  
  Traps were used throughout this wad, but actually added to the difficulty of the map without tarnishing it with the plague of unfairness or making the map just plain annoying to the player. A few were difficult; I was not a fan of the "run along the elevated columns as enemies fire at you from afar", or the "small platform above a lava floor as wizards and gargoyles swarm you", but it seemed that no matter what Chris threw at you it just seemed to be fun to play. There was plenty of ammo, health, and items scattered throughout the wad, so I have no complaints in that department.
  
  One of this wad's true strong points to me was the shading, designing it so outside columns, frozen sheets of ice, and other objects all cast realistic shadows. Torches and other sources of light were designed with realism in mind as well, adding to the architectural awe of everything. Another was how this wad just seemed to go on and on. It seems like it might be a rather small level, but behind every door you encounter more and more, and it was just plain fun to explore. I was even disappointed when I finally made it to the end of the level.
  
  The only downsides of this wad is certain rooms were not combat friendly, and if you're the type that blatantly fires without thinking, it's easy to find yourself in an ammo drought.
  
  Bottom line? If you have the game Heretic this is a MUST play wad, easily making it into the top 5 Heretic wads I've played, as well as being simply beautiful (I included screenshots, but none of them truly do this wad justice). Christopher said in the readme that it took him 7 years to complete this. Well, seeing the finished product, that was 7 years well spent.
  
  
• Fantasy Of Shadowman Episode (FOSE) - Lainos [B0S]
  Limit Removing - Solo Play - 380273 bytes - (img) (img) (img)
  Reviewed by: Joshy
  Since doing this review feels like homework, I won't bother elucidating what I think of the map. Can I put it in a word? Yes? Okay. If I could describe this in one word, it'd be uninspiring. That's what I think of it. Yes. Wait? You want another word? Fine. It's uninspiring, and cheap. Good enough? No? Ah, damn you my review writing conscience.
  
  Okay, basically these two words sum up what I thought of these 6 maps. It appears to have been speedmapped (if it wasn't then may lord have mercy on us all). It's not as bad as it sounds, as it offers some gameplay challenges. I mean that in the sense that you'll die if you don't try, but the amount of trying isn't that much to be excited about. It's all mostly flat and extremely cramped and bland. The themes offer nothing in terms of special aesthetic pleasure, and the music doesn't really do it for me.
  
  Is that good enough, thou bleeding conscience? Excellent.
  
  Bottom line is if you're wanting to look for the kind of Doom pwad that justifies your seclusion from the real world because you enjoy playing good maps, don't bother trying this one. And a rule of thumb to speedmappers (or to mappers in general): One good map is much more worthwhile than 6 mediocre maps. Reviewer and conscience signing off.
  
  
• Headboy - Unknown
  Vanilla - Solo Play - 160312 bytes - (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img)
  Reviewed by: Maes
  It's 1994, and you are bored. You fire up your not so state of the art 486 with 4 MB of RAM. DOS boots up in a mere 3 seconds, and you decide to start a game of Doom II. But not the ordinary levels again, been there done that...thrice already. You need something different. So you grab your shiny new Doom shovelware CD trumpeting "OVER 1000 NEW DOOM LEVELS STRAIGHT FROM HELL!11!!" and pick one with a cool (?) sounding name: "Headboy", and all the surprise and excitement that the presence of "New sounds" stated in the WAD file may give!
  
  You fire it up, and your puberty frustrations come to life, like a bad case of jock itch accompanied by bad acne and wet dreams. Suddenly you feel used like John Romero's bitch, and feel like you should be playing King REoL's levels instead. Ah, HE sure KNEW how to make them, back then! Anything but THIS shit! The map burns your brain faster than watching a Steven Seagal movie directed by Chuck Norris and produced by Jean Claude Van Damme. WE'RE IN THE BIG LEAGUES NOW BABY!
  
  Ahem....yeah, after all the glamor, grandeur and artistic caprice allowed to a /newstuff reviewer, all that's actually left is a map of unknown origins but definitively made in 1994-1995. Let's see...
  
  
• mostly uniform texturing: check V
• hardly any height variation: check V
• gross texture misalignments and unpegged door textures: check V
• extremely annoying sound replacements: check V
  Yup, almost all of the trademarks of a typical bad 1994 level are there. Theworst aspect of all is the new sounds. The new pistol/chaingun sound is actually OK (at least it doesn't have spaghetti-western ricochet!), but the vocal samples are...well...horrible. Each time a fireball flies past you, you hear "lick my balls". Each time zombies spot you, you hear "Get him" (or something like that). There are others as well, all screechy, annoying high-pitched, and sounding like Dog264 made them. Not even the decency of stereotypical Simpsons or Beavis and Butthead samples here, no.
  
  As for the actual gameplay, despite the plainness and ugliness of the level, monster placement is actually half decent. There's enough ammo to handle all situations, and the level could even be called moderately challenging due to the good placement of hitscanners, imps, demons, and even mancubuses. You will find all weapons up to the plasma, and given that this is a Doom II map, also the SSG, which will make dispatching the 99 monsters (on UV) somewhat fun.
  
  As the level progresses, you'll find some texture and architectural variation, some dark areas, some lighting effects and even some monster traps, which seems to have been added as the author got progressively better at mapping (?) but overall the stain of being a "1994 level" won't just go away that easily. Try it for maybe a speedrun or two, but I'd strongly advise purging it of all new sounds (except maybe the pistol), if you want to keep your sanity through it.
  
  
• Crazy - Crazy Que
  Heretic Support - Solo Play - 68887 bytes - (img) (img) (img)
  Reviewed by: RottKing
  Crazy2 is an old-school vanilla Heretic wad with a style that's fairly typical of early 90's maps: lots of mid-texture false walls, piece meal layout, switch hunting, too many items given away, etc. Gameplay is pretty easy, with most traps posing little threat and generous health given to the player. The layout is kind of neat I guess, with a small touch of non-linearity and decent flow. If you're like me, who usually plays anything Heretic related given the lack of content for the game, I'd say it's worthy of a play through.
  
  
• Rest In Pieces part VII - Jeremy Drye and Nick Tucker
  Vanilla - Deathmatch - 40425 bytes - (img) (img)
  Reviewed by: RottKing
  Rip7 is a very poor Doom 1 deathmatch level from the early 90's. The layout basically consists of a bunch of bland hallways forming a square, with a maze in the center, and two large dead-end areas that branch off from the square, with all accompanied by hilarious 90's sitcom-esque intro music. Not worth a download unless you love weird old crappy DM levels.
  
  
• Katamori 1024 - Episode 1 - Zoltan Schmidt "Katamori"
  PrBoom+ - Solo Play - 1863646 bytes - (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img)
  Reviewed by: schmerr
  Katamori 1024 is great fun, seeing as I've never seen a wad (okay half wad) of this... kind. It's easy, but fun, and many casual Doomers would love it.
  
  LEVEL 1 - VEHICLE FIGHT
  You start off in a small box in a room, with a shotgun right in front of you. You grab the shotgun and walk out of the box, when every single demon in the room (shotgun guys and former humans) is facing you, so you got to shoot em quick. After that you leave the room through a vent (a common door texture in this WAD) into a tiny hall of small healths. After that you are treated to walking the "bridge" of the vehicle (which I figure to be a ship) with a couple of imps on it. You come to a stairway, also filled with potions. Then you go into a room with four doors, each windowed and with a shotgunner behind it. You have two choices:
  
  1. Kill all of them, then get the blue key behind the third door.
  2. Go into that third door, kill that guy, and get the blue key.
  
  After you get the blue key there's... ANOTHER VENT. Go through there, kill the couple of lost souls, then go through the vent door in that vent. You then come to a room which seems to be a small passenger area. Flick the switch, kill the demons in there, go back into the vent. Once in, you follow that vent maze into another room, which seems to be the cockpit. Flick that switch, level over.
  
  LEVEL 2 - OFFICE INVASION
  Now I believe you have exited the ship, and right off the bat, there's a shotgunner. You go into one of the UAC doors (they both go the same place) and are now are faced with an imp. After you kill him, there are TWO MORE DOORS. Well, one leads to a lift, the other a stairway. The lift brings you to a mazy room. The stairway introduces you to a spectre, then takes you to that mazy room. You get some keys, flick some switches, which, quite frankly, is annoying. After that, you open a room, with a lost soul in it. Kill it, drop to the room below. Open the door. Level over.
  
  LEVEL 3 - UAC INDUSTRIES
  You start off in front of a door with two lifts on either side. You gotta flick the switch to bring down the lifts, which go to the same place. You go through a door, to another door to an acid room. The next door, which is *sigh* a vent, takes you into a dark, narrow passageway. You kill an imp when THE WALL FALLS DOWN! Now if you fall you are screwed. There are two cacos. Kill, then go onward with the path. When it seems the path is coming to an end, the wall falls again, showing more path, and more demons. You come to a room, kill, then you get to a vent. There is a short vent that leads to a sharp fall. BE CAREFUL! There's a baron here. Kill all of them, then go to the windowed room. In here you have two choices:
  
  1. Go in all three rooms and kill stuff and end the level.
  2. Go to the third room and end the level.
  
  LEVEL 4 - NO PARKING
  You somehow are now in a crashed pod, whatever. Go into the open hall, then shoot up the lost soul in there. After that you drop into a room, shoot up the room, go get the stuff in that room, then leave the room. You flick the switch, kill the caco, get the stuff in the room, flick the switch in that room, run across rooms and then kill a spectre, get the berserk pack, kill the other spectre, then, since now you have the yellow key, go all the way back to the beginning of the level. Somewhere there will be a yellow key door. Go, kill, then at the end of that hall, open the door, kill some more, then open another door. Here you have to run through a hall, and then kill a lost soul. Then there's another room. This may confuse a small minority of you. You have to go to the computer thing to open the next doors. Go through the doors. Kill the baron. The next door is the exit.
  
  LEVEL 5 - CHEMICAL REFINERY
  Crap! Kill the pinky demon running at you! After that fun, go down the lift. Get the red key. Warp back, kill the shotgunner. Use the lift. Kill the pinky demon in there. Go into the sewer. Map ends. Really really short level, that level 5.
  
  LEVEL 6 - SEWERS
  I'm not going to hold your hand through this one, because it's a lot more fun if I don't. There are a lot of imps in the corridors. Go in EVERY room! Very nice level.
  
  LEVEL 7 - SIMPLE EXPERIMENT
  Okay this is another short one because this has a short explanation. It's a modified original level 7. Mancubuses, arachnotrons, and all.
  
  LEVEL 8 - LOGISTIC BASE ALPHA
  First you go up stairs to go to this hall with spectres in it, and at the end of that hall, a blue key. After that you go into a room, shoot the crap out of a lot of demons, and get the red key. Then you go into the newly unlockable door, shoot the dudes, and the level ends.
  
  LEVEL 9 - ATMOSPHERE COMPLEX
  You start off in a hexagonal room with 4 doors, one on each side, with an away-facing demon at each door; by the way, 3 doors require a key. Key hunter map. What annoys me (but at the same time keeps me entertained) is the switch puzzle here.
  
  LEVEL 10 - GOIN' DOWN THE FAST WAY
  The only really notable part is the end. You'll know when you see it.
  
  LEVEL 11 - ESCAPE FROM THE OUTPOST
  It's nothing remarkable.
  
  Overall, this (half) WAD is a little too easy, but fun. On the downside, The puzzles are kind of annoying. Casual Doomers will enjoy this WAD immensely.
  
  
• The lost temple - Wraith
  Heretic Support - Solo Play - 321131 bytes - (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img) (img)
  Reviewed by: Lawstiker
  This will be my first review for a map, so please bear with me on this. Originally I thought I had selected to review this guys Doom II map, but imagine my surprise when I accidentally selected his Heretic map. Still, nice to get a little Heretic action going.
  
  This map was a mixed bag for me. The starting room didn't reveal much, but after going outside and seeing the map architecture wasn't so bad, mostly rock walls and trees made out of map geometry with a few Weredragons (ohh the Weredragons...) It looked like this might have been a fairly good Heretic map, but then we get to the caves/mines.
  
  Oh the mines. Initially not so bad as you go in (though strangely the only spot that had any difference of height was in the beginning, and blocked off by invisible barrier) but shortly after going into it a little ways there was pretty much no difference in shading, looked the same for awhile, and the designer liked to play the "start walking and suddenly have a Weredragon spawn in front of you as well as one behind you in a narrow hallway with only the wand" trick.
  
  Eventually after you go deep enough, the level design gets interesting again, as the designer started doing some nice lighting effects, using a good contrast of bright areas and dark shadowed tunnels, but still was pretty linear. After reaching the end (and facing more Weredragons...) you flip a switch and have to run all the way back to the starting area to encounter the entrance to another cave, with yet another Weredragon popping out of it. This cave, despite having Weredragons just like everywhere else on the map so far, had various of floor ceiling unlike the other one, and some difference in shading.
  
  After dealing with the Weredragons and another outside area you make it into "The Lost Temple" part of the map, which actually isn't that bad in appearance. It's at this point the designer finally decides to give you the bow weapon and starts using monsters other than the Weredragon (large groups of Gargoyles at this point). The temple design-wise was pretty solid, a few texture misalignments here and there, but fairly good. Though this is also where I hit my major anger point with the map. The designer decided to create a room that you get trapped in, and the moment you hit a switch, a shitload of Saberclaws decided to spawn into the room. Which while not exactly small, this room does not allow room for dealing with as many Saberclaws that spawn into this room. It took me several tries to finally take them all down without dying, and even then had extremely low health.
  
  Near the end you make it to another spot with trees made via the geometry, but there's a balcony that overlooks it, with nothing out there at the moment. The moment you run down there, a shit load of various monsters spawn out of nowhere (also seeing the return of the Weredragons here), and staying down there and fighting them all just can't be done because of the lack of ammo, forcing you to either run past them to hit the switch and go back into the temple, or stay in the temple while they kill each other off.
  
  Overall? There's much better Heretic wads out there, but much worse as well. Map design and architecture, while nothing mind blowing, is still pretty solid and is still a fairly well designed map (despite the lack of maneuvering space in the temple). Ammo is fairly lacking, possible as long as you don't go wasting shots, and the battle flow could really use some improvement. Swear this guy had a fetish for Weredragons, and taking them on in cramped hallways with only the wand is not the most exciting thing. Nor is the swarming of Saberclaws in the temple that fun. More infuriating than challenging.
  
  If you're starved for Heretic maps, or want to deal with tedious killing of Weredragons and tight cramped battles with 25+ Saberclaws, then give it a go. Otherwise you're not missing out on much.
  
  
• Proyect 1024 - Wraith
  Heretic Support - Solo Play - 27456 bytes - (img) (img)
  Reviewed by: walter confalonieri
  This is a very short map, built in the good old 1024x1024 grid size limit, but the novelty here is this map is made for Heretic, instead the over-used Doom 2 IWAD. The map is nice but sometimes is way too dark, especially in some hallways. But it's a nice idea, and I think it could be good to see this example followed by other authors.
  
  The level has some nice ideas, but it needs maybe a bit more detail to be much more appreciated (at least for me).
  
  Anyway, try this just for the novelty, you will not be disappointed!
  
  
• Gsai - Unknown
  Vanilla - Solo Play - 24395 bytes
  Reviewed by: Megamur
  From the moment I boot up this level, I'm concerned: the wall directly behind me has SKY2 painted directly on it, as opposed to employing a legitimate sky sector effect. Okay, so this is probably an old '94 map. I've played lots of these. Some of them are amusing in their own crude way. Let's check it out.
  
  I walk through the first door, and am greeted with by several long, wide hallways with lots of small rooms attached to them. Nothing has attacked me yet. A slow build. Get some tension going. I'm cool with that.
  
  As I explore these small rooms, I'm starting to get worried. I'm finding weapons and supplies and even a key, but still nothing has attacked. The suspense is killing me!
  
  Still more time passes with no encounters, annnnnd...yeah, there's no enemies in this level whatsoever. I stumbled into a room that happened to have an exit line in it and the map was over.
  
  (Actually, there are some enemies--a Baron and a Shotgun Guy--but they only show up in multiplayer.)
  
  So I guess this is supposed to be a Deathmatch level, as viewing the map in an editor shows DM starts littered EVERYWHERE (35 of them, to be exact). The only problem with this is that there's literally one gun (a shotgun) in one room in the entire map, which means everyone's running around with nothing but pistols most of the time.
  
  So, what you ultimately have here is...a piece of garbage. Thanks a lot, Perseus. The next time you've got a "Doom.wad found on the 'Net" for us, just leave it rotting on your hard drive where it belongs.
  
  
• Starbase - Eric Plaisance
  ZDoom Compatible - Solo Play - 10286 bytes
  Reviewed by: Megamur
  It's a few rectangular rooms all painted in STARTAN2. You flick switches, shoot (or just run past) a few lightweight enemies, grab a couple of keys, and pick up way more ammo than you'll ever need. Thanks to a sector tag 0 door, this is not compatible with PrBoom, despite the map being written in Boom format. The whole thing can be finished in about one minute, literally.
  
  I honestly really appreciate that new mappers are still cropping up for Doom these days, but early attempts like these don't need public releases.
  
  
• SansCarcass v1.0 - snscrc
  ZDoom Compatible - Solo Play - 2924 bytes
  Reviewed by: Joshy
  What this .pk3 contains is an extra sprite frame for every monster that when they die, they appear invisible. The maker claims that it is made for invasion games where "hundreds of bodies clutter the floor". I don't know if it actually assists computer performance by making all dead monsters invisible. What came to my mind is how would you be able to tell if an archvile is stumbling across a dead monster and resurrecting it when you could've stopped it in time?
  
  Anyway, I wouldn't use it; I have no need for it. I like seeing dead monsters around, it makes me feel less lonely. If you have a fetish for dead invisible monsters, go ahead and please yourself.
  
  
• The Darkness Of Evil - Mark Anderson a.k.a Shadowpath a.k.a Boogeyman
  Vanilla - Solo Play - 360358 bytes - (img) (img) (img) (img) (img)
  Reviewed by: Scet
  A late 1994 wad that replaces E2M1 through E2M7. I picked this expecting a few good classic style maps; what I got was the usual 1994 crude. While there are the usual texture selection and alignment issues everywhere, the biggest problem is the use of the wrong line triggers. There are a lot of lifts that only function once, and because the author was going for a non-linear layout it's incredible easy to get stuck and have to idclip out. There's a door in E2M4 that requires you to shoot a line 80 units in front of it that uses the GR Door Open Stay trigger, but you'd never know it.
  
  Technical issues aside, the map layouts themselves just plain stink. The author has a hard-on for long, narrow and extremely dark passageways. It's not called "The Darkness Of Evil" for nothing. Pretty much every map is just a few rooms joined by passages where you can't even see what's trying to eat your face without gamma correction. The author also apparently forgot how the game's collision detection worked. There are several "Chasm" type areas where as soon as you step out onto the ledge you are immediately assaulted by monsters you can't see because they're below you, this while also trying to dodge every type of projectile from the ones you can see.
  
  The only thing of real interest here is that the author(s) grant permission to modify the maps. Maybe if there's a second 1994 tune-up challenge someone will clean up this stinker.
  
  
• Base3 - AconyX
  Limit Removing - Solo Play - 95787 bytes - (img) (img) (img)
  Reviewed by: Megamur
  Base3, an appropriately generic name for a generic E1-style map.
  
  First of all, the absolutely bare-bones text file gives no indication of what port you'll need to use. Players who boot this up in vanilla or Chocolate Doom will immediately be greeted with a "P_SpawnMapThing: Unknown type 32000" error on startup. Yep, once again, somebody forgot to delete their Doom Builder 3D mode start before uploading their map. Even with that removed, visplane overflows ensure that this level isn't vanilla-compatible.
  
  The very first room also has an improperly-tagged lift. The lift to the west has sector tag 0 applied to it, causing basically every floor in the map to descend briefly when you click on it. ZDoom and its derivatives correct this and make the lift work properly, but it crashes vanilla/Chocolate, and just looks terrible in Boom ports. Level authors, I beg you: stop using sector tag 0 for sector actions. It causes all sorts of compatibility problems, and there's so many other numbers to choose from. PICK ANY OTHER ONE.
  
  Visually, the level is average at best. Aside from a couple of smatterings of gradient lighting here and there, lighting effects are mostly minimal. There are a few computer panels and light fixtures to add a little detail to the surroundings, and I didn't notice any texture misalignments. Still, pretty much the entire map is painted in the STAR series of textures, and FLAT14 (the "blue carpet" texture) is also used in almost every room. Basically every linedef is on a right angle, as well, adding to the visual repetition by making everything look boxy. The visuals are far from horrendous, as the textures complement each other nicely. Regardless, aside from a few minor details (the skylight in the first room, the red cross in the wall), the whole look seems lacking in inspiration.
  
  The actual gameplay probably fares worse. Challenge? What challenge? Heck, I was able to complete a Nightmare mode run without getting killed once.
  
  The toughest enemies you come across are a couple of pairs of Spectres. For the most part, you're just strolling casually into each room and quickly bowling over the small groups of zombies and Imps within. There are a few traps, but they fall flat: the first gives you a ton of explosive barrels that will easily take care of the ambush; the second can simply be run past.
  
  Puzzles don't exist either. There are a few switches where their function isn't immediately obvious, but the map is so small and linear that you'll find your way forward soon enough.
  
  Perhaps this is just the first map in a larger project. I'm not really sure. Standing on its own, however, it's simply too short, too easy, and too uninspired to be recommended.
  
  
• silent night, holy fright - Dan Perper
  Vanilla - Solo Play - 51234 bytes
  Reviewed by: Megamur
  JokeWAD, or earnest attempt at level design gone horribly wrong? It's occasionally hard to tell with this one.
  
  The level begins in somewhat promising fashion. Well, the Wolfenstein door texture behind you is a bit off-putting, but that aside, I enjoyed how the first battle was against a load of pistol zombies, with nothing to protect you aside from your own sidearm, and an invisibility sphere. Invisibility spheres are basically only effective against hitscan enemies, so it was a pleasant surprise to see one given to you in a location where it was actually useful.
  
  The level very quickly devolves after that, however, and you're soon thrust into horrible, randomly-textured, randomly-angled, featureless, mono-height, '94 throwback hallways. Said hallways are filled to the brim with twists and turns, which do little but pad out the length of the level by constantly forcing you to change direction, and just generally make the map excruciating to navigate. (Especially that WOODGARG hallway halfway through the level. I freaking HATE that thing.)
  
  This is a fairly linear affair as well, yet it's still not difficult to become lost, as the map is just generally over-large and the progression is a confusing mess. You'll have completely innocuous walls that are actually the only way forward, switches that perform unknown functions, teleporters that seemingly do nothing but kick you back into earlier parts of the level, and pathways that loop in upon themselves and seem to have no purpose, but actually contain hidden walkover lines that trigger doors elsewhere.
  
  The action itself certainly doesn't make up for having to trudge through these zigzagging tunnels. For a good portion of the map, you're basically just strolling the halls, gunning down lightly-sprinkled amounts of weak opposition along the way. Several areas are almost completely devoid of enemies altogether. Things eventually heat up a tad and Spider Masterminds and Cyberdemons make an appearance, but you're usually given invulnerability spheres to deal with them, or enough maneuvering room that they don't pose a threat.
  
  Errors await you, too, including all your amateurish favorites, like tutti-frutti (a transparent texture on a solid wall? GREAT IDEA!), unpegged door tracks, long wall error (which probably wouldn't occur if there was actually any detail on the walls whatsoever), and even an errant, impassible line out in the middle of a hallway for no apparent reason. Admittedly, most of these problems aren't even noticeable in most source ports, but they're telltale symptoms of the diseased condition of this map.
  
  While the map is pretty abysmal in general, it wasn't until the final few rooms that I felt like this WAD was actively trolling me. You eventually come upon this charming (read: godawful) maze constructed out of hundreds of tree sprites, bordered by walls with SKY1 textured directly onto them. After wandering around like a fool for long enough, you eventually find your way out, and end up in the exit room. You see the exit sign on the far wall, and a hole in the floor. You're so relieved to get out of that blasted tree maze that you make a beeline for the hole and hop in.
  
  But oh, what's this? LOLZ, THAT WASN'T THE EXIT. Now you're in a room with two Spider Masterminds, an Arch-Vile, and a Pain Elemental. Take a few steps forward, and six Cyberdemons are loosed from behind a wall. If you manage to dash past them and make it to the teleporter, you're teleported all the way back to the start of the map and have to retrace your steps across the entire level--tree maze and all--in order to return to the exit room. It turns out the exit sign itself is the exit--walk around the hole, click the sign, and you win. "LOLZ, I GOT U GOOD," says the level author.
  
  At first glance, this map seems average, harmless, inconspicuous. When you look deeper, you realize it's ugly, too large, nonsensical, and enjoys playing tricks on you for the sole purpose of being obnoxious. It's like an Internet troll converted into Doom WAD format. Do not play this.
  
  

The Shores of Phil was pretty good indeed. There has been a lot of neat episode 2 inspired stuff recently it seems.

Just to clarify: FOSE is based on Shadowman's old doom paintings. You can find them here - http://www.photoshare.ru/photo190752.html
Lainos just "converted" them to WAD format as a birthday present for Shadowman. :)

The first door on Lost Temple has tha infamous tag0 ZDoom-ism, making the map break in non-ZDoom based ports. The rest of the map doen't seem to feature any ZDoom-ism's though.

a small tip for lawstiker: when you finish writing a paragraph, read it after yourself. you tend to repeat the same words in close succession a bit too much.

Schmerr's review of Katamori 1024 seems more like a short walkthrough than an actual review. He explains how to beat each map but he rarely states his opinions of them

Well, finally, my first work has been reviewed! I'm so happy =)

Craigs, you're right, but although I'm satisfied with schmerr's "review".

hideously small amount of screenshots

So has Kirby finally decided to give up trying to review the shithole that is Mobius? It's been at the bottom of newstuff for ages now. I'd review it myself, but it would just be "FUCK THIS" repeated 500 times. A definite contender for Worst Wad.

dew said:

a small tip for lawstiker: when you finish writing a paragraph, read it after yourself. you tend to repeat the same words in close succession a bit too much.

Didn't quite noticed that when I wrote those up, thanks for pointing that out. I'll work on that, as well as trying to keep my reviews from becoming badly written walk-through like I almost did with The Lost Temple.

Where have all the shite 1994 maps come from? Does anyone else get a pang of nostalgia when they see shots of a genuine '94 shitter? Pity half the reviews didn't have screenshots. Also I don't care about Heretic, in the Emperor's name I demand more Doom reviews! :P

Sorry I didn't take many screenshots. I usually play maps in vanilla DOOM, so I figure you guys would rather see nothing at all than a bunch of 320x200 stamps. Besides, Gsai and Starbase have nothing to look at, I assure you.

Melon said:

So has Kirby finally decided to give up trying to review the shithole that is Mobius? It's been at the bottom of newstuff for ages now. I'd review it myself, but it would just be "FUCK THIS" repeated 500 times. A definite contender for Worst Wad.

To be honest I was hoping someone else would be masochistic enough to try reviewing that, though after a month-and-a-half of no one touching it I fear the need to tell the world every detail that would piss them off about it, and quite frankly that is an assload :/

Kirby said:

To be honest I was hoping someone else would be masochistic enough to try reviewing that, though after a month-and-a-half of no one touching it I fear the need to tell the world every detail that would piss them off about it, and quite frankly that is an assload :/

If it is really that bad I can simply wipe it from the list and we can forget that it exists. (except for /idgames, of course)

I don't think removing a wad from the review list is fair.
320x200 screenshots are better than none.
If a wad was released, I think it should be in the archive, even if you think it's a '94 shitter.
Why are Joshy's reviews so mean?

Bloodshedder said:

If it is really that bad I can simply wipe it from the list and we can forget that it exists. (except for /idgames, of course)

Oh no no no. It has to be reviewed, it needs to be reviewed. But it's just so bad, I can't bear to do it. I don't feel like I'll be able to do it justice. The cacodemons that shoot trees you get stuck inside give me nightmares to this day.

eternal slumber said:

Why are Joshy's reviews so mean?

Woah dude, there's a positive review I made for a 1996 wad I thought was actually pretty good but they could only fit some of the reviews I made in this one (there are still some left over). Just a tip, don't make a tad big generalisation that I'd review maps like a bad-ass based on the one I just bad-mouthed in the first place. ;-)

And even I didn't really bad-mouth the san carcass mod, I just didn't find that matching up my needs, I'm only responding as a typical doomer here.

Clearly, we need deathz0r back.

esselfortium said:

Clearly, we need deathz0r back.

Best reviewer ever. What ever happened to him? I remember his "reviews", but I've spent some years away from Doomworld, and when I started reading the /newstuff Chronicles again, he was gone...

I don't think Joshy's reviews are mean. To the point, yes. But lets face it, what's the point in glitter coating a review, and recommending a wad that you don't feel is any good?

Last I met deathz0r, we were both playing Team Fortress 2 and I couldn't remember where I'd met him before. This was about a month ago.

esselfortium said:

Clearly, we need deathz0r back.

We need more of those 'DOES NOT WORK IN INTENDED SOURCE PORT' reviews? :P

Those were pretty funny, in a completely uninformative way.

Melon said:

So has Kirby finally decided to give up trying to review the shithole that is Mobius? It's been at the bottom of newstuff for ages now. I'd review it myself, but it would just be "FUCK THIS" repeated 500 times. A definite contender for Worst Wad.

Looks like we may just have our review of this. And the same sentiment echoed by several others.

The Lost Temple is impossible. I wonder if even the map author himself could finish it, because this is the most retarded Heretic map I've played yet.

Baby Bonnie Hood said:

The Lost Temple is impossible. I wonder if even the map author himself could finish it, because this is the most retarded Heretic map I've played yet.

The lost temple is not impossible. I've made harder maps. Just look arrund and you'll see that Colossus, Stronghold, and 21?! maps are much harder than this one. Anyway, a commun thing my maps have is the difficult, I think it's one of the main characteristics my wads have.

P.S. I'm spanish, so don't you get angry easily with my poor English ¬¬

19Wraith said:

The lost temple is not impossible.

It's still really hard though, even on HMP (or rather BTM... let's just call it Normal). There's too little health and too many sabreclaws (plus a maulotaur on UV/SM/Hard) in that one room. I only finally finished it because I did it pacifist (so the ambushes don't trigger) until the home stretch.

19Wraith said:

I've made harder maps.

...what.

I'll make sure to play your maps on HMP/BTM/Normal only :P

Baby Bonnie Hood said:

It's still really hard though, even on HMP (or rather BTM... let's just call it Normal).

Try "skill 3" on for size.