Forever DooM-my new story. Episode 1- The terror within

[DooMer87]

What up? Well, i'm writing my brand spanking DooM story and, well, what th hell, i'll just write this in seperate episodes.
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EpIsOdE OnE.......
ThE TeRrOr WiThIn

...

It was Friday. You woke up at 2:00 am in your tiny apartment on the south side of Chicago, Illinois. You looked out your window. Heh, those guys must be crazy, playing street hockey at 2:00 am. You decided to go get dressed and go downstairs to join them. But, wait. You go back upstairs to check the weather. It's 40 fricking degrees. Maybe it would be best if you went to the rink on Sunday to go see some pick up games on ice.

You woke up again, at 6:00 am. You went downstairs for breakfast, as even though your apartment sucks, the food downstairs rules. You remember that in two weeks you're going back to the army. The draft has started again. You decide to try to forget about the draft, and instead look for your buddies and have a cup of coffee with them. You find them, and enjoy the morning.

You head back to your room to watch some football, but the phone rings. It's General Thompson. "Scott, get your ass down to Springfield(the one in Illinois)because there has been some shit going on and you're the man to handle it!

You get pissed because you can't watch the Bears, but you haven't had action in 4 months ever since you were drafted in the post-WWIII era. Now, Russia is back to Communisim, Canada hates us, and England wants us undet their rule for the 4th time in 70 years. But before that, they lost to us in 1812. Now, it is 400 years in the future, and England, Canada, and Russia want our ass.

You get in your car, heading on I-55. You start to wonder WTF is happening in downstate. Maybe that nuclear Plant went berserk again, or there's a riot in downtown. Maybe you should call up the general on your videophone. you say, "Thompson, WTF is happenning?" he responds "Yeah, the nuclear plant had some mutations(or did it???)and now we need to kill their asses off. Some plant workers are now mutated because of the nuclear waste. 30 of our men have died. You seem to be the guy. We haven't even ventured into the outer core area yet, so who knows what the hell is going on inside there."

You realize that the plant has never had a mutation before, even though it is the oldest plant in the world. General Thompson claims that "there are still thoulsands of men fighting."But wait, comtamination of workers would mean that radiation has been released to the public. You need them to evacuate Springfield now!!! You phone the General again, claiming what i just typed above. General T says "They'll be fine and dandy. Nothing like a little sludge once in a while."

Those bastards!!!! They don't realize that 150,000 people are in danger! You exit I-55 now, exiting for the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant(no, not the Simpsons one.) You find the plant on fire and sirens blasting to get everyone out of the area. Maybe General T listened to you this time. You pull into the parking lot of the plant, and race inside with your pistol.

"No...STOPPP!!! AAARGH!!!!" That cry sounds like General Thompson. You listen again..."Ohhh SHIT...NOOO, NOT MY LEGGG!!!" You hear it coming from Decomisioning room 9 and you race there. But first, you put on a decontamination suit. You find General T being soaked in Radioactive sludge by a man who seems to be...a ZOMBIE??? You shoot the zombie down with your pistol, and you Pull Gen. Thompson out. "Oh...SHIT. My leggg...it's been burnt off. Aaargghh..." You ask General T what he was doing without his suit on. "They...ripped it off...then they ripped my left thumb off..." You race out of the plant, finding a ambulance with paramedics surrounding it.

They put General T in, and race him to Springfield hospital. You find that this is not the only casualty
in this building. You race inside to find 3 more people, 1 completely submerged in radioactive waste. You know he's got no chance. You find a "zombie" pushing 2 workers into a pool of waste, and you think fast. You shoot the zombie. He falls into the waste. Then, you grab the two workers and lead them safely out of the plant. You ask them what happened. "You have to save the plant owner. He's in sector 12, the secure sector. The door won't hold all the flooding waste, and you're the only one with a gun in a suit that can do that."

You think fast again, finding a zombie with a shotgun about to pull the trigger. You shoot him to save you, and you take his gun. you run back in the plant. You run past a sign that says "You are now entering the Plant 'highway'. Exits will be posted on signs ahead." You think "I need to get to sector 12. better keep running." You continue to run, finding 12 zombies total near the exit for sector one. One of them tries to grab your gun, but it misfires and kills him. Since these guys are so stupid, you throw your old pistol into the waste. They all jump in to get it, and after that it was all groans and drowning them. One sector down, 10 to go before 12.

You run, finding no zombies until the exit for sector 7. There was only 4, so you could handle it with a few shotgun blasts. You then keep running and running, until the exit for sector 11. No one there. But wait, something looks brown up ahead. You touch it, and it growls and turns around. It's an imp! It launches a fireball at you, throwing you to the ground. Your suit is torn, so no use of it. You rip the suit off. The imp approaches you. You pull the trigger of your shotgun, and.....

The gun needs to be reloaded. The imp draws closer. You find no ammo! Quickly, you throw the gun at the imp. Well, that was really fricking smart. It doesn't care, and it proceeds to scratch you with it's deep claws. You look for something, maybe a health pack for emergencies. You find a black pack, but you don't care. Usually they are white nowadays. You throw the imp off to buy you some time. You then shove the pills down your throat. Then, you feel energy. You feel...confident. Your fist starts to turn a dark red. The pack says "Berserk Pack. This is a scientific project invented in St. Louis and is under testing. DO NOT USE until further notice." Who cares? You run to the imp and shove your fist into him. And it goes right thru him! Wait, is he d-.....yep he's dead.

You proceed onto sector 12. You know now you can trust these black packs. You see the sign ahead "Warning- Sector 12 is an emergency sector for shelter. The plant owner's office is here. Are you a worker? Proceed to 13-25 as necessary. This room full? Take the elevator near you to sector 26." Hmmm. You open the door to sector 12, finding a vestabule. Then a green glow fills the room. It turns white. You hear the sound "The decontamination process is complete. Welcome to the emergency room." You find no alive workers here, in fact you find 40 dozen workers dead, blood splattered everywhere. You find what appears to be a man hung on the wall and stabbed with a metal rod. You also find headless workers and some even with an arm missing. Some even have half their body what appears to be chewed off. You proceed on to the door to your left which says "Owner's room."

You find the owner about to be eaten to death surrounded by what appears to be gorrilas, but they are pink and shaved. You quickly use your beserk pack again to beat these monsters to death. You find the owner all chewed up. It was too late. The imp had fried him with his fireball, and the Hell Knights(WTF??? What are those, you think.)must of added the radioactive frosting, and the demons must have ate him up, as all you find was a slightly fried and sludge-covered arm. You now know this was worthless. You proceed to use your cell phone to call for help so you can get out of this hellhole. But suddenly you hear a deeply loud groan. You hear loud stomps. Some giant beast crashed through the wall, coming for you. He loads what appears to be his rocket launcher. And your berserk pills are all out. Loks like you're stuck in "ThE SeCtOr Of DeAtH".
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Well, did you like it? Well, i'm gonna immediately open up a file for episode two "The sector of death". Thanks for reading this and don't forget to post your comments!

SeCtOr Of DeAtH update #1............
Finished some of the beginning, gonna work on more today.

Update #2......................
Yep, i'm almost done. Gonna finish it, edit it, and release it today(Sunday)or Monday.

Update #3......................
Done. Go look for it now! And post your comments!!!!!!

[Spike]

Seems... needlessy cheesy :/. You'd do well to watch the likes of 'Aliens' to get more of a feel for military chatter. My main criticism, though, is the layout.

"The gun needs to be reloaded. The imp draws closer. You find no ammo! Quickly, you throw the gun at the imp. Well, that was really fricking smart. It doesn't care, and it proceeds to scratch you with it's deep claws. You look for something, maybe a health pack for emergencies."

'You' do this, 'You' do that; Think about the scenario and try to devise a less repetetive way of delivering the lines. You're making it sound like a straight-out description of a game of Doom and, let's face it, that wouldn't make great reading.

Gotta admire your enthusiasm, though :)