I have 3 solutions for your little dilemma:
1. Remove your lower jaw, that way you cannot chew.
2. Wear a muzzle, that way you cannot open your mouth.
3. Wear steel-toed, hobnailed boots. That should stop your little problem right quick.
If none of these work, cook feet in beef stock with bay leaves, black pepper, and paprika. Add a bit of Tinactin to prevent tongue fungus, and enjoy.