"Dreadful Heat" - a dark and ominous track

[DamTheGreat]

With the help of a music instructor, I was able to compose a new, better track for my WAD. Here it is: Dreadful Heat

 

It is a dark, ominous and foreboding tune. I previously posted two other tracks, "Interrupted Vacation", which was complete garbage and unsalvageable and "No More Gum", which I cleaned up and rerworked using the guidance of my instructor. Any criticism is appreciated!

[Walter confetti]

Good midi, pretty foreboding. Good for some dark sewers / underground structures

[TheBlurCafe]

Not a bad track, I dig the more ambient vibe, and the instruments used make me think of some sort of big and imposing machinery, the foundation is good, although I believe after a while it becomes a tiny bit repetitive. It's not a bad mood setter, it just needs an extension to give it that extra flare.
Definitely an interesting one for sure!

[I Drink Lava]

I really hope you didn't pay a music instructor for this.

 

-For starters, the entire structure is just I-II repeated during the entire duration of the song with no variation whatsoever.

 

-Not only that, but the chords are 8 semitone intervals which just sounds wrong. Have you not heard of the Tritone, diabolus in musica? You want to space the notes 6 semitones apart for that classic dissonance.

 

-The chord progression ascends, which doesn't sound right at all for the tone this piece is going for. Ascending notes gives listeners a sense of hopefulness. It reminds me of this song, which I should point out is often criticized for its repetitive sound as well as replacing more interesting songs after missions are beaten. You want the notes to descend to give them a sense of hopelessness.

 

I've created an 8-bar proof of concept of what your chords should roughly look like. It goes I-VII-I-V on the first measure, then I-VII-I-III on the second. The I on the third bar is inverted to lend to the descending sound.

-The bassline drops out on the 7th bar. Why? It happens again later in the song, too.

 

-A timpani kicks in on the first beat of the 8th bar, but it should really start on the third beat to build up anticipation for the next measure. The rapid timpanis seem out-of-time, too. Also, you should keep the timpanis as a rhythm section, roughly like below. I think the timpanis are supposed to be in tune with the rest of the music, but you just have them play on G3.

-Instead of those weird, sprinkler-like shakers constantly playing, have some orchestral snares roughly like this. I would change the bassline to better suit this marching-style percussion too.

-At the 15th bar is where the song completely falls apart. Setting aside that you should really wait until the next measure to start the melody (17th bar), the melody is a complete jumbled mess of random notes that don't harmonize or resolve well at all. It honestly sounds like AI algorithm generated music. I would just throw out the entire melody in favor of something more minimalist and ambient, sort of like this Duke Nukem 3D track. When it comes to music, less is more. Just have your bass, chords, and percussion play on loop, then record yourself humming simple melodies over it. Transcribe those melodies into your editor playing each key one at a time.

 

-Most perplexing is the fact that the notes are all in Major key, when they really should be Minor key. Have you never seen the meme videos where traditional Minor key music is transposed into Major key?

[Liberation]

Just going to mention this @I Drink Lava, feedback is good, but if the person giving the feedback is coming across as a bit abrasive or rude, then the feedback is difficult to viewed constructively.