minigunner

Things have changed quite a bit from the despair-fueled rant I put on this thread early on. Granted, I'm far from perfect still, but I've had plenty of realizations about my life and living it that I've been blind to for years, and I've been trying so goddamned hard to put them in practice since. It takes a hell of a lot of effort to break negative habits and thinking patterns. However, I can't be hard on myself for how long it's taking, as I'm trying to make up for years of life I didn't let myself live. To add to that, I practically threw my future away in that time, only now shuffling through the garbage to find it again.

If you wanna try Doom95 specifically, you might wanna try emulation of win95 or any other DOS-based Windows OS via DOSBox or a fork that's more suitable for said systems (such as DOSBox-X).

Favorite Movie Genre: Action/Sci-Fi (though not so much the modern stuff) Favorite Food: Not really a favorites person here. Favorite Holiday: Christmas Favorite Memory: Having a day out with a friend last week, which, given the circumstances, made it the best time I've had for a long while. Worst Memory: Barring the obvious, I'd say being hospitalized after a domestic fight. I ended up being moved where I am now, so it turned out alright. Age: 25 Favorite Outfit: T-shirt and jeans. That's p much 98% of what I have. Favorite Genre Of Music: Classic Rock Most Hated Genre of Music: Modern Hip-Hop Left Handed or Right Handed: Right Worst Injury: Ground up elbow in biking injury. Never went to the hospital for it, so it's all scar instead of skin. Favorite Hobby: Swimming Your Definition of Success: Being capable of not only sustaining yourself, but helping others as well. In your opinion, are situations typically black and white: I'd assume such, but in practice it's not really true. Life is far too complex to shove things in one category or another.

I have Sound Canvas VA. It's good for composition, but it has notable audio differences and is based off a later model, the 8820, so direct MIDI playback doesn't work out well. For MIDI playback, buying an SC-55 is a more viable option.

Soundfont synths aren't fun to work with; particularly if you're making soundfonts or using them for more than just playing back MIDIs. For example, BASSMIDI is the most popular SF2 synth, but it is a disappointment for its status. Particularly, there are issues with MIDI events outside the standard roster, as well as some inconsistencies in how instrument/preset properties are applied. To top it off, it's based off of the SF2 2.0 spec; in the meantime, the 2.01 spec introduces modulators that greatly increase the customization of instruments (such as having a more muffled tone the lower the velocity), then there's 2.04 that supports 24-bit samples (not that important but yeah). FluidSynth, on the other hand, supports the newer spec, but it's not as popular and it runs on some issues of its own.

I started a midi mashup of the two a year and a half ago. Perhaps I'll dust it off.

Making friends is easy. Keeping them isn't. It would be nice to keep friendships that I actually like, but considering how much I'm used to people entering and leaving my life, combined with personality flaws such as assuming things all the time, providing almost nothing on my end (would like to provide a lot more than just talking about myself; how, I'm still figuring out), having plenty of occasions where I just didn't think enough about what I was gonna say or do (all it takes is one perfect slip-up to completely destroy a friendship), dwelling on the past, and ultimately parting ways over even the most minor mishaps, yeah, it's not easy. I'm spending more effort on rebuilding faded/destroyed friendships than I am keeping them, and that needs to change.

Weapons with a needlessly-large delay at the end that screws with single-shot firing (even Doom itself is guilty of this, but one would expect to adapt to the vanilla weaponset anyways so...). If necessary to mechanics, at least have some sort of indicator that the weapon's not yet ready to fire.

Fear. I've let my life run on fear. I've feared losing people I care about or being rejected, and I've feared failure and disappointment. Realization of those fears has resulted in a variety of bad things, from obsession to lashing out to a complete wipe of self-confidence and control over my life, and at worst severe depression and abandonment/hostility towards loved ones. It's a very dangerous mindset prone to repetition, one that only extensive therapy (and medication, which I'm on) can resolve. I had to make the decision to go through therapy now after having made an attempt on my life out of guilt last week. Since then, I've been looking inside a lot, trying to find reason for why I'm the way I am. Though there's been progress in recovery, despite not having yet started with the sessions, I still wish I had taken care of this so much sooner... If there is any good note, it's that I've begun to realize the value that those who care have placed on me. I don't think I can be thankful enough of those who have stuck around, forgiven, and supported me all this time. I know I've considered myself to be a burdensome heap of drama, but that's only because I've taken all the good things in life for granted; I need to learn to appreciate the good times instead of living in fear of losing them. I want to be involved again, but there is so much that I have to do before I can consider myself fit for general forum stuff or community chat. For now, DM'ing and friending is totally fine, though.

The major issue with MIDI in modern times is Microsoft GS. It's a heavily gimped and modified version of a Roland softsynth from 1996. It has only the absolute basic MIDI functions, lacking greater functions such as reverb/delay/chorus and instrument modification events. This pitiful excuse of a MIDI softsynth that's been included with Windows for 2 decades has never seen any improvements aside from periodical increases in polyphony, up to a max of 64. Modern MIDI softsynths have a much higher (and adjustable) polyphony limit. Add to that the compatibility breaks in OS updates that MS never bothered to deal with and you have a synth that gets worse with each new OS. Microsoft GS has given people the impression that MIDI is a super-limited format that sounds like shit. It's far more than that.

I don't have any words for this. At least, not to summarize into a couple sentences. I'll spoil it since it's a pretty sensitive topic (and it also mingles a bit with my involvement in the Doom community).

Oh hey another texture thread

What's up with all the beards I've been growing this out for the past month and a half and people seem to like it for some reason. I hate having facial hair.

I nominate A Boy and His Barrel.

The Doom Bible is a huge curse among the modding community. People try to recreate Tom's vision despite it being about as clear as a cup of coffee that's been sitting out for a couple weeks. The DB has ideas, and that's all it's good for. It also was highly unfavored by id for a reason.