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Johnny

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About Johnny

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  1. Johnny

    Doom's Belated Nonadecennial

    doom sux
  2. That's right. This thread is about basketball. Specifically, a legendary man called Kurt Rambis and his career in the NBA in the 80's/early 90's. To get everyone in the spirit of the decade and to enhance the overall effectiveness of this persuasive essay, I will limit my use of synonyms for "very cool" to words that are time period appropriate. As I have stated in the past, I only post here when I find something that can safely be considered "the bomb" beyond a shadow of a doubt. I know the general Doomworld population isn't very partial to sports (frankly I don't care much for them either), but this is one of those times where something exists that is so sweet that it transcends the original subject matter and rockets straight into radville. I mean srsly, there is too much awesome going on all over this guy. Feathered mullet and mustache combo? Check. Classic horn-rimmed black glasses? Double check. Bodacious leg definition? Yes please. Mr. Rambis attended Santa Clara University from 1976 to 1980, and was the second leading rebounder as well as the all-time leading scorer with 1,736 points. He also got shitloads of awards. After graduating he was drafted by the Knicks as the 58th pick in the 1980 draft, but for some reason he was waived. This is where the real badassery begins. Instead of being super bummed about the whole ordeal, he called upon his Grecian superpowers and moved back to the old country. He then joined the Greek basketball league AEK Athens under the name Kyriakos Rambidis (fuck that is awesome) and won the Greek Cup in 1981, exposing the Knicks' managers as people who make totally bogus decisions. Eventually this beast was signed as a free agent by the Lakers in 1981 where his fresh haircut and hip eyewear earned him the very fitting nickname of "Superman." He spent the bulk of his career with LA, winning championships in 1982, 1985, 1987, and 1988. He's the head coach for the Timberwolves now, but unfortunately isn't near as rad as he used to be. The phrase "you can't judge a book by its cover" comes to mind when examining the case of our bespectacled American hero. This guy is the physical embodiment of irony. What is a textbook Save-A-Lot manager doing in the NBA? Kicking fucking ass, that's what. Looking like a total out of place dweeb and not giving a shit is pretty cool on its own--I'd still like him even if that was all he offered. But no, he has to also be a complete and total BOSS at what he does. Evidence: It's so hard to watch that video without yelling "YES!" a ton of times. Sports fan or not, that shit is ill like my grandma. Highlights include back to back dunks at 15s, catching elbows to the face and back of his head yet still draining it followed by an effortless free throw at 2:19, and a pretty choice alley-oop with the assistance of Magic Johnson at 3:34. Really the whole first 5 minutes are worth watching, plus the interview at the end where his calm, polite, and educated demeanor comes out in full force. Kurt is almost too white for golf, yet he could roll with the big dogs no problem. There's another video of him getting knocked down hard by two dudes while going in for a layup, and he immediately springs back up to unleash hell. No need for words when there are fists to do the talking. Sadly his pussy teammates were more worried about some bullshit called "sportsmanship" and held him back. This was from a time when men settled their differences like men, and no one judged you for wearing brightly colored thigh-hugging booty shorts and knee high socks. The golden days of the NBA my friends. They may be long gone, but sure as hell won't be forgotten. THE END tl;dr = That guy in the picture is wicked cool. I wish he was my dad.
  3. Johnny

    The KFC Double Down - God bless America

    To all the naysayers - I'm sorry for assuming this was a forum full of red-blooded, meat-eating, chest-pounding MEN. I forgot to account for the nancy boys
  4. Johnny

    The KFC Double Down - God bless America

    I know dude, I wasn't saying it was a lot. The 'hefty' only applied to the amount of calories. The rest of it was just info.
  5. Johnny

    The KFC Double Down - God bless America

    Next time I get one of these monsters I think I'm gonna throw a biscuit in the middle of it for a little bread role reversal. I'm all jittery with excitement
  6. Now before I go into detail, I want to first say that I rarely post on Doomworld as I like to wait until I have something sufficiently awesome to talk about. Whether or not my post ends up being awesome in the end is debatable. That being said, I've just had a life changing experience: Being the fried food connoisseur that I am, when I heard someone had FINALLY made an official meat-for-bread sandwich I got the most rock hard boner I've had in my life. I wasted no time getting myself up to KFC to see how this baby rides. Not surprisingly, it was nothing short of humanity's greatest achievement thus far. It consists of two fried chicken patties I'd put at slightly over an inch thick, two slices of bacon, some sort of heavenly sauce, and two pieces of monterey and pepperjack cheese each. I also got some mashed potatoes to dip it in because--why the hell not? Finger-lickin' good is a gross understatement. Weighing in at a hefty 540 calories, (290 of those calories from fat with 10 grams saturated fat) this beast is probably illegal in multiple places around the world. Fortunately, I live in America, land of the free and home of the brave. I welcome my future of type 2 diabetes with open arms.
  7. Johnny

    The source is (finally) with us...

    Holy shit! This is good stuff. Though none of this applies to me, I'm glad it happened. Maybe Carn and basically all of DW can finally bury the hatchet and b frans?
  8. Johnny

    Obama's Peace Prize

    Turning down the prize would have been looked at as a dick move definitely. He basically said he didn't deserve it in his speech. I think he actually said the word "kill" twice. HA
  9. After seeing that cake on the frontpage this year, I honestly teared up a little. I've never really taken the time to take a step back and think about how tight-knit, talented, and absolutely amazing this community is. It just makes me giddy to know that there are people that enjoy this old game as much as I do, and are willing to apply their skills to make it consistently more awesome than before. I recently replayed some of my favorite DM maps (namely UDM2) with a few friends and had a blast. I then tried out Deus Vult 2 for the first time and all I can say is... jesus buttfucking christ on a crucifix!! How do you guys do these things?!

    No matter how much or for how long Real Life interferes, Doomworld is always here. Whether you want to play a quick SP map to kill some time, a long epic wad to conquer over an afternoon, or maybe just to drop by the forums to read some thoughtful threads peppered with perfectly executed sarcasm--Doomworld delivers. And that is why I LOVE Y'ALL.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Kirby

      Kirby

      Aww, we love j00 too

      And this is why we are happy for j0000!

      <3

    3. Philnemba

      Philnemba

      Someone give this guy a hug!

    4. 40oz

      40oz

      Johnny I'm about to make a map just for you. No one else is allowed to play it when it's done.

  10. Johnny

    Doomworld confessions

    i found an action doom beta on nanami's manc.net webspace and sent it to like a willion people
  11. Johnny

    Your best pickup lines?

    Yeah that's him man, I just forgot to capitalize the M in my last post. LOL
  12. Johnny

    Your best pickup lines?

    I learned this one at some random party when I was a freshman in college and am a firm believer that it is the most awesome pickup move/line ever concocted. It's probably a good idea to already have some sort of attraction built between you and whoever you're gonna use this on, but if you're drunk and feeling ballsy then it's a perfect opener. Provided you're not a creepy son of a bitch, of course. Anyway: Lean in kind of close to her face, squint, and say "Hey, close your eyes for a sec. You've got an eyelash." Innocent enough, so she'll oblige without giving it a second thought. You then put your hand on her cheek with your thumb by her eye like you're going to brush it off, but instead swoop in and plant one on her. Right on the lips! When she opens her eyes all surprised like, smile at her for a moment and then walk away. Come back in 10 minutes or so and I guarantee you'll be greeted with an "OMG! I was just telling Stacy about your eyelash thing!" So simple, yet so beautiful. You'd think something like this would buy you an instant slap in the face, but from my experience they're usually thrilled about how clever it was. I'm no Mr. Studly McLadykiller either, and I've done it tons of times with flawless results. I really wish I could say I invented this, but all credit goes to the mystery fellow I met that fateful night. God bless you sir--wherever you are.
  13. Just a little something I noticed... If you mash the submit button a thousand times when answering a daily, you'll get ptz for damn near every click. I just went from 39 to 85 a few days ago, all thanks to my impatience. I'm a Z-Lister now and average about 16-20 ptz per daily. This doesn't work with poll questions though, and I've only tried it in Chrome. Chances are they'll catch me when I try to redeem my shit for a ps3 due to their recent "Amnesty Week" thing and all the firebug hacks... but WHATEVVVVV. Hopefully they only screen the people trying to get really big stuff, like that scooter or a macbook.
  14. Awesome! I'm all in. forumemail55 at gmail dot com
  15. Johnny

    Most happy song ever.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBL2kzKg4nY I'm really still in prison and my love--she holds the key! A simple yellow ribbon's what I need to set me free
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